Reasons why you are changing travel teams

[Anonymous]

The "Club loyals" are the worst. It's heart-breaking to watch. They pledge loyalty and allegiance and the Club couldn't give two sh*ts about their player. Watching the look on their faces when their kid gets screwed over down the road is heart-breaking because they really believed. They bought all the extras, bought the talks, bad-mouthed the parents that could see through it all and then ending up telling us later 'you were right'. Only they waited too long, their player never developed properly and is now a teen with no options, cut from their loyal Club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our (now former) club, the parent politics, coupled with a toxic coach/age group lead, have driven a number of families from the program. Parent volunteers get preferential team placement, playing time, etc. for their kids. The coaches and parents have also displayed awful behavior in front of the children - getting kicked out of tournaments and games, berating their children (and teammates) etc.

It sucks that our generation of sports parents is screwing up so badly, because sports can be so amazing for kids if handled properly. It's no wonder that childhood anxiety and depression are skyrocketing, and for what? How many of these kids are going to be professional soccer players, or even get a D1/3 scholarship? I will never understand what motivates adults to berate children. It destroys a child's motivation and love for the sport, and damages how a child feels about him/herself.

[/b]Keeping fingers crossed that the new team/club is better![b]

Take it from a 30-year veteran, the unicorn doesn't exist. It will take a little while, but you will see their true colors soon enough. Better the devil you know and all that...

Good luck.

I have found, at least at our club, the toxic parents are the exception, not the rule. Their true nature comes out eventually. They tend to be the club hoppers so they eventually just go away on their own. Also, I've never seen the parents who volunteer to be the 'bad guys.' Nope, it's usually the parent who never volunteers, never picks up their kid on time, sticks to themselves at games, rarely engages...

Not true. Some team manager can be really bad. Most are good though.

[Anonymous]

Where we are now has no parent team manager. The manager is a paid employee. The manager handles all communications for the training staff/TD. Nobody has direct contact with the Coaches about technical matters. Need a scheduled appointment with the TD. TD and staff of coaches rotate so there is no one person's opinion. You get many different unbiased opinions. Really makes a difference since many of the coaches come at it having played different positions in their youth.

Breath-taking. Takes all politics out of the situation. It also serves to weed out the parents that were constant kiss-asses since their hands are tied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our (now former) club, the parent politics, coupled with a toxic coach/age group lead, have driven a number of families from the program. Parent volunteers get preferential team placement, playing time, etc. for their kids. The coaches and parents have also displayed awful behavior in front of the children - getting kicked out of tournaments and games, berating their children (and teammates) etc.

It sucks that our generation of sports parents is screwing up so badly, because sports can be so amazing for kids if handled properly. It's no wonder that childhood anxiety and depression are skyrocketing, and for what? How many of these kids are going to be professional soccer players, or even get a D1/3 scholarship? I will never understand what motivates adults to berate children. It destroys a child's motivation and love for the sport, and damages how a child feels about him/herself.

[/b]Keeping fingers crossed that the new team/club is better![b]

Take it from a 30-year veteran, the unicorn doesn't exist. It will take a little while, but you will see their true colors soon enough. Better the devil you know and all that...

Good luck.

I have found, at least at our club, the toxic parents are the exception, not the rule. Their true nature comes out eventually. They tend to be the club hoppers so they eventually just go away on their own. Also, I've never seen the parents who volunteer to be the 'bad guys.' Nope, it's usually the parent who never volunteers, never picks up their kid on time, sticks to themselves at games, rarely engages...

Then you have had a very different experience than me. The manager is almost always the one whispering in the Coach's ear and his head up the TD's ass. A lot of the people that stick to themselves on the sidelines are the ones that have been burned by the toxicity in the past and can't bear to hear parents criticizing kids who aren't their own or yelling directions to the players on the field.

Yep---sometimes even need to watch from the car if you get a good viewing spot because of the crap.

Yep I would not engage parents on the team. Big mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our (now former) club, the parent politics, coupled with a toxic coach/age group lead, have driven a number of families from the program. Parent volunteers get preferential team placement, playing time, etc. for their kids. The coaches and parents have also displayed awful behavior in front of the children - getting kicked out of tournaments and games, berating their children (and teammates) etc.

It sucks that our generation of sports parents is screwing up so badly, because sports can be so amazing for kids if handled properly. It's no wonder that childhood anxiety and depression are skyrocketing, and for what? How many of these kids are going to be professional soccer players, or even get a D1/3 scholarship? I will never understand what motivates adults to berate children. It destroys a child's motivation and love for the sport, and damages how a child feels about him/herself.

[/b]Keeping fingers crossed that the new team/club is better![b]

Take it from a 30-year veteran, the unicorn doesn't exist. It will take a little while, but you will see their true colors soon enough. Better the devil you know and all that...

Good luck.

I have found, at least at our club, the toxic parents are the exception, not the rule. Their true nature comes out eventually. They tend to be the club hoppers so they eventually just go away on their own. Also, I've never seen the parents who volunteer to be the 'bad guys.' Nope, it's usually the parent who never volunteers, never picks up their kid on time, sticks to themselves at games, rarely engages...

Then you have had a very different experience than me. The manager is almost always the one whispering in the Coach's ear and his head up the TD's ass. A lot of the people that stick to themselves on the sidelines are the ones that have been burned by the toxicity in the past and can't bear to hear parents criticizing kids who aren't their own or yelling directions to the players on the field.

Yep---sometimes even need to watch from the car if you get a good viewing spot because of the crap.

That is why I would rather sit next to opponent parents. I only cheer for our team. I just don't get it why some parents like to criticize other kids so much.

[Anonymous]

we haven't switched yet but thinking about it for U13, our club is only in NCSL so I *think* we will want to move to a club that is in the more competitive leagues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At our (now former) club, the parent politics, coupled with a toxic coach/age group lead, have driven a number of families from the program. Parent volunteers get preferential team placement, playing time, etc. for their kids. The coaches and parents have also displayed awful behavior in front of the children - getting kicked out of tournaments and games, berating their children (and teammates) etc.

It sucks that our generation of sports parents is screwing up so badly, because sports can be so amazing for kids if handled properly. It's no wonder that childhood anxiety and depression are skyrocketing, and for what? How many of these kids are going to be professional soccer players, or even get a D1/3 scholarship? I will never understand what motivates adults to berate children. It destroys a child's motivation and love for the sport, and damages how a child feels about him/herself.

Keeping fingers crossed that the new team/club is better!

A PP asked if this was U12 at McLean...???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At our (now former) club, the parent politics, coupled with a toxic coach/age group lead, have driven a number of families from the program. Parent volunteers get preferential team placement, playing time, etc. for their kids. The coaches and parents have also displayed awful behavior in front of the children - getting kicked out of tournaments and games, berating their children (and teammates) etc.

Well, I dunno, as a parent I'm basically OK with that. If I put my personal time into this time (as well as a significant chunk of money) I want my kid to get some benefit from it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then you have had a very different experience than me. The manager is almost always the one whispering in the Coach's ear and his head up the TD's ass. A lot of the people that stick to themselves on the sidelines are the ones that have been burned by the toxicity in the past and can't bear to hear parents criticizing kids who aren't their own or yelling directions to the players on the field.

Yep---sometimes even need to watch from the car if you get a good viewing spot because of the crap.

That is why I would rather sit next to opponent parents. I only cheer for our team. I just don't get it why some parents like to criticize other kids so much.

Wow. My DS is in 5th grade and has been on a travel team for two years, and I have yet to hear parents on his team criticize any of the kids on his team. Does that start at an older age or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The "Club loyals" are the worst. It's heart-breaking to watch. They pledge loyalty and allegiance and the Club couldn't give two sh*ts about their player. Watching the look on their faces when their kid gets screwed over down the road is heart-breaking because they really believed. They bought all the extras, bought the talks, bad-mouthed the parents that could see through it all and then ending up telling us later 'you were right'. Only they waited too long, their player never developed properly and is now a teen with no options, cut from their loyal Club.

This is true. Parents can't say no to any soccer option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are changing teams this year, what are your reasons?

Switched last year due to toxic environment and lazy coaching.

Which club? Deciding for our kid and would like to avoid bad cosches

[Anonymous]

Everyone seems to have toxic experiences but no one is saying the names of their clubs! How can we avoid them if you won't name the name?!

Potomac toxic?? Bad parents??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone seems to have toxic experiences but no one is saying the names of their clubs! How can we avoid them if you won't name the name?!

Potomac toxic?? Bad parents??

Toxic parents are all over youth sports. They are pretty much impossible to avoid, especially when more $$ is involved and kid’s age up.

I used to think it was soccer, but soon learned from friends in travel baseball, softball, flag football, hockey, competitive dance, etc. that they are everywhere.

Definitely why veteran parents sit by themselves at games.

There are a certain type that make my skin crawl whenever they are near.

You aren’t going to be able to avoid them wherever you go, but as a general rule -the lower the team the less douchebag parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone seems to have toxic experiences but no one is saying the names of their clubs! How can we avoid them if you won't name the name?!

Potomac toxic?? Bad parents??

Toxic parents are all over youth sports. They are pretty much impossible to avoid, especially when more $$ is involved and kid’s age up.

I used to think it was soccer, but soon learned from friends in travel baseball, softball, flag football, hockey, competitive dance, etc. that they are everywhere.

Definitely why veteran parents sit by themselves at games.

There are a certain type that make my skin crawl whenever they are near.

You aren’t going to be able to avoid them wherever you go, but as a general rule -the lower the team the less douchebag parents.

Or the older the team. By the time girls hit U16 or boys U17 the competitive sorting has settled out and everyone can just enjoy the games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our (now former) club, the parent politics, coupled with a toxic coach/age group lead, have driven a number of families from the program. Parent volunteers get preferential team placement, playing time, etc. for their kids. The coaches and parents have also displayed awful behavior in front of the children - getting kicked out of tournaments and games, berating their children (and teammates) etc.

It sucks that our generation of sports parents is screwing up so badly, because sports can be so amazing for kids if handled properly. It's no wonder that childhood anxiety and depression are skyrocketing, and for what? How many of these kids are going to be professional soccer players, or even get a D1/3 scholarship? I will never understand what motivates adults to berate children. It destroys a child's motivation and love for the sport, and damages how a child feels about him/herself.

Keeping fingers crossed that the new team/club is better!

A PP asked if this was U12 at McLean...???

Definitely rings a bell.