My husband became hot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biology of it is that time isn’t kind to women as far as appearance. We can look good for our age but it’s hard to be ‘hot’ in the conventional sense and menopausal. It sucks. Your only chance is to be kind, stay healthy, get regular exercise and live your life.

Agree but 90 percent of 50 yo men are definitely not hot either !

I know -.but some are! My DH is pretty hot. I work out at a good pace literally every day and I feel like I’m approaching Barbara Bush’s grandma body really quickly at age 50.

Go vegan. Can't get fat on vegetables.

I am a vegetarian. You actually can get fat on carbs - as your metabolism begins to tank carbs become especially evil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH got hotter too. I enjoy it and like watching him get hit on in grocery stores and by female neighbors. He's embarrassed by it and I'm not threatened. And when I say he's hot, he's a 9/10 (when he's tan he's a 10) and friends and random strangers even comment on how good looking he is to me.

In a weird way, I've noticed our whole relationship how differently people treat him because of his looks and I feel a bit like an anthropologist watching it all. Women twirl their hair and even men want to be his friend. He's a senior manager at work and I wonder if some of it is because he's tall and good looking. People just expect him to be a good leader because he looks like he'd be a good leader and then he is.

Our kids are 100% identical copies of me. They look just like me. hah. DH was not a cute kid at all though and didn't look hot until high school.

You're totally right on the senior leader thing. It's a massive thing for men, and looks are even more important for women. I've seen this phenomenon with my wife and her friends. I have a whole theory about how senior men like to surround themselves with attractive, intelligent, aggressive women. My wife fits that to a T.

That's not to say any of these people (including my wife or your husband) are undeserving or bad at their jobs. Usually they're plenty capable. It's just that there are plenty of other capable people who don't get the job that happen to be 40 pounds overweight or not present well.

I had lunch with a famous CEO (of one of the world's largest companies) a few years back, and he related how losing weight, changing the way he speaks (he got a voice coach), working on posture, etc. all helped get him out of middle management and into the C Suite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is exhibit A for men "trading in" for a newer model. The best way to avoid this is for women to simply keep up your game. Stay fit, lots of sex. You would do this anyway post divorce, so why not just do it right now with Husband #1 and avoid the whole divorce experience?

+1M, I totally wish it was that simple.

However, there are DWs who just don't care about either due to worklife balance. In other words, dealing with kids and work demand robs them of energy/willingness to maintain fit and of course emotinally available for sex.

-Signed hot DH looking to upgrade.

Ok, but you suck due to dumping all the responsibilities on your wife and then looking to trade her in. That’s not hot.

Who said he's dumping it all on her? Lots of DWs are just unable/unwilling to even consider "balance" - any 1 thing you take off her plate, she will take on 10 more things. Yet somehow, these exact same women find a way to lose the extra 25 pounds and start enjoying sex (at least appearing to) once they are divorced and want to attract a new man. Apparently, the only way to motivate her into caring about being "hot" is to divorce her. Just wondering why is that?

[Anonymous]

DH lost about 50 pounds a couple years and has kept it off. I think he’s extremely hot, even if he declines to do more upper body stuff at the gym. He says he’s working out for strength and health, not me to ogle his arms. Hmmph.

[Anonymous]

Why can't people just eat real food? No point going vegan, vegetarian or paleo...it's all a fad. Just stick to unprocessed foods and healthier cooking methods. Bake instead of fry. Steam instead of saute. As a woman, I think women like OP are overly concerned with losing weight but not gaining strength. Losing weight makes you weak if you just starve yourself. Get a trainer to teach you to lift weights and strength train properly. I see women at the gym using 10lbs on assisted machines and it's no wonder they're 30 pounds over.

[Anonymous]

It’s the “lift heavy” poster!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biology of it is that time isn’t kind to women as far as appearance. We can look good for our age but it’s hard to be ‘hot’ in the conventional sense and menopausal. It sucks. Your only chance is to be kind, stay healthy, get regular exercise and live your life.

Agree but 90 percent of 50 yo men are definitely not hot either !

I know -.but some are! My DH is pretty hot. I work out at a good pace literally every day and I feel like I’m approaching Barbara Bush’s grandma body really quickly at age 50.

Go vegan. Can't get fat on vegetables.

Olive oil, avocado, peanut butter, beans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is exhibit A for men "trading in" for a newer model. The best way to avoid this is for women to simply keep up your game. Stay fit, lots of sex. You would do this anyway post divorce, so why not just do it right now with Husband #1 and avoid the whole divorce experience?

+1M, I totally wish it was that simple.

However, there are DWs who just don't care about either due to worklife balance. In other words, dealing with kids and work demand robs them of energy/willingness to maintain fit and of course emotinally available for sex.

-Signed hot DH looking to upgrade.

Ok, but you suck due to dumping all the responsibilities on your wife and then looking to trade her in. That’s not hot.

Who said he's dumping it all on her? Lots of DWs are just unable/unwilling to even consider "balance" - any 1 thing you take off her plate, she will take on 10 more things. Yet somehow, these exact same women find a way to lose the extra 25 pounds and start enjoying sex (at least appearing to) once they are divorced and want to attract a new man. Apparently, the only way to motivate her into caring about being "hot" is to divorce her. Just wondering why is that?

I was PP (hot DH), I do more than fairshare of rearing our kids and work stressful management but yet don't bring my work issues into homelife. I try to be empathetic but find it difficult when there is a lack of willingness/kindness. Also, upgrade its not about looks; its about someone who values and desires being with me instead constantly nitpicking or saying how I need to a better job of x,y,z.

[Anonymous]

You probably don't work, so why don't you get a trainer and nutritionist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biology of it is that time isn’t kind to women as far as appearance. We can look good for our age but it’s hard to be ‘hot’ in the conventional sense and menopausal. It sucks. Your only chance is to be kind, stay healthy, get regular exercise and live your life.

Agree but 90 percent of 50 yo men are definitely not hot either !

Agree also but 90% of men and 98% of women aren't hot at that age. That 8% is a huge gap.

Not to mention, that man is going to attract women in their 30's and 40's. That woman, not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is exhibit A for men "trading in" for a newer model. The best way to avoid this is for women to simply keep up your game. Stay fit, lots of sex. You would do this anyway post divorce, so why not just do it right now with Husband #1 and avoid the whole divorce experience?

whenever someone says this, I always imagine that he would do well married to a crack whore: she will always be thin, always willing to have sex, and she won't be stressed about that stupid stuff other women worry about like a job, raising children, and running a house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is exhibit A for men "trading in" for a newer model. The best way to avoid this is for women to simply keep up your game. Stay fit, lots of sex. You would do this anyway post divorce, so why not just do it right now with Husband #1 and avoid the whole divorce experience?

+1M, I totally wish it was that simple.

However, there are DWs who just don't care about either due to worklife balance. In other words, dealing with kids and work demand robs them of energy/willingness to maintain fit and of course emotinally available for sex.

-Signed hot DH looking to upgrade.

Ok, but you suck due to dumping all the responsibilities on your wife and then looking to trade her in. That’s not hot.

Who said he's dumping it all on her? Lots of DWs are just unable/unwilling to even consider "balance" - any 1 thing you take off her plate, she will take on 10 more things. Yet somehow, these exact same women find a way to lose the extra 25 pounds and start enjoying sex (at least appearing to) once they are divorced and want to attract a new man. Apparently, the only way to motivate her into caring about being "hot" is to divorce her. Just wondering why is that?

Depression can be a big contributing factor. Sometimes divorce removes a trigger of the depression and/or anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is exhibit A for men "trading in" for a newer model. The best way to avoid this is for women to simply keep up your game. Stay fit, lots of sex. You would do this anyway post divorce, so why not just do it right now with Husband #1 and avoid the whole divorce experience?

whenever someone says this, I always imagine that he would do well married to a crack whore: she will always be thin, always willing to have sex, and she won't be stressed about that stupid stuff other women worry about like a job, raising children, and running a house.

Damn, thats actually a good tip. Does Tinder have a filter for crack wh*res?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is exhibit A for men "trading in" for a newer model. The best way to avoid this is for women to simply keep up your game. Stay fit, lots of sex. You would do this anyway post divorce, so why not just do it right now with Husband #1 and avoid the whole divorce experience?

whenever someone says this, I always imagine that he would do well married to a crack whore: she will always be thin, always willing to have sex, and she won't be stressed about that stupid stuff other women worry about like a job, raising children, and running a house.

Damn, thats actually a good tip. Does Tinder have a filter for crack wh*res?

I don't think so, but you can always check out your local soup kitchen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is exhibit A for men "trading in" for a newer model. The best way to avoid this is for women to simply keep up your game. Stay fit, lots of sex. You would do this anyway post divorce, so why not just do it right now with Husband #1 and avoid the whole divorce experience?

+1M, I totally wish it was that simple.

However, there are DWs who just don't care about either due to worklife balance. In other words, dealing with kids and work demand robs them of energy/willingness to maintain fit and of course emotinally available for sex.

-Signed hot DH looking to upgrade.

Ok, but you suck due to dumping all the responsibilities on your wife and then looking to trade her in. That’s not hot.

Who said he's dumping it all on her? Lots of DWs are just unable/unwilling to even consider "balance" - any 1 thing you take off her plate, she will take on 10 more things. Yet somehow, these exact same women find a way to lose the extra 25 pounds and start enjoying sex (at least appearing to) once they are divorced and want to attract a new man. Apparently, the only way to motivate her into caring about being "hot" is to divorce her. Just wondering why is that?