Out of control vacation expectations - (new to) Bethesda teens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in central Georgia now, but we still do this kind of thing, too.

First, our families don't live near us, so some of those trips include visiting grandparents, cousins, etc..

Second, a ski trip that's a day's drive away isn't a big deal. If you've decided against private school, a $500 weekend (hotel, lift tix) 3x a year isn't much. I assume by now they own their ski gear ...

Also, DC is on a coast, so ditto about a weekend/week at the beach, or a trip to NYC or Boston.

Things are close by, and really not that expensive. Now, there will be people who do Hawaii/Aspen/Paris/Bahamas, some of them with their own boats and vacation homes. But that is not the norm, even in Bethesda.

Also, take all of this with a grain of salt. Your kids know a lot of other kids. While it may seem like they are all doing this, some are doing it each time, not every time.

500 for lift tickets and hotel for a family of 4??? How?

And don’t forget flights to Vail! $500 wouldn’t cover even one person’s expenses for a weekend!

Snowshoe, people. Not Vail.

[Anonymous]

Bethesda is a very competitive area in general. Most people sending their kids to the public schools are living there specifically for the quality of the schools. Which means they care about their child going to a prestigious college.

Nowadays getting into a prestigious college means the kids have to be well-rounded, and to many that means being world travelers. Seems silly to think that parents of middle schoolers are thinking that way, but in Bethesda, they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK you think an week long vacation that is NOT international is a BIG deal? That's weird.

NP - I know it's shocking but some of us grew up in families where we may have vacationed together 2 times in the 18 years at home and 1 of those was like a driving vacation to the outer banks. So yeah to us -- when you are making $$ and can take a flying vacation EVERY SINGLE YEAR no matter what, that is a BIG deal. Sorry we didn't all grow up like you.

Wrong.
I did grow up having only one family vacation to Croatia when I was 4. It was to visit relatives. We never even stayed in a hotel as a family, ever. No camping.

Now that we make a good income, we travel 3 times a year internationally. When you are making good money, it’s no longer a big deal to travel a lot.
I don’t understand your logic.

Good for you? I was talking about how I view it given my background. Glad you view it differently.

[Anonymous]

Moved to Bethesda and discovered the same. A couple of our dc's parents even invited us on trips with them. I'm not talking, "Let's meet up in Bethany Beach." I'm talking, "Let's all go to Cabo together for spring break." We'd only known them for a couple of weeks. I don't know if that's normal -- didn't think so. But, maybe we're just fun AF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, it's the area. Wait till all their friends start getting brand new cars for their birthday.

OP here - I'm actually prepared for that as it's a nationwide thing, not just Bethesda! DH and I grew up in suburbia where if you didn't have a car, friends with a car, or a stay home parent to drive you some place, you weren't going -- there was no walkability, no subway/metro etc. That was actually a big thing for me that my parents didn't by me a car (used) AND didn't allow me to get a job so I could save up for a car -- and I was quite resentful. And even in my above average but not rich suburb, the rich kids got brand new SUVs the moment they got a license. I've always been 100% unwavering that each one gets a car on their 16th birthday. It'll be like a basic model Honda/Toyota, not a Mercedes, and if we have one to hand down at that time, fine; if not, they will get new cars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bethesda is a very competitive area in general. Most people sending their kids to the public schools are living there specifically for the quality of the schools. Which means they care about their child going to a prestigious college.

Nowadays getting into a prestigious college means the kids have to be well-rounded, and to many that means being world travelers. Seems silly to think that parents of middle schoolers are thinking that way, but in Bethesda, they are.

They can think that, but having been an admissions officer for 10+ yrs (not at an ivy), I'm fairly positive that UPenn and Columbia don't care that you've been to Mexico and Paris 10x each because they KNOW it's on your parents' dime and frankly every kid would travel like that if they had parents who could pay. Frankly at various conferences it comes up that universities are even starting to look sideways at all the kids who apply with mission/volunteer trips to Haiti and Mexico and wherever on their resume bc they realize parents are paying various programs/organizations to take their kids on such trips to build up their resumes. Not saying it hurts to do those trips, but colleges are starting to say -- hmm -- you are willing to go do food drives and build houses in Haiti, you live 10-15 miles from the poorest parts of DC and have never done any project there??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, it's the area. Wait till all their friends start getting brand new cars for their birthday.

OP here - I'm actually prepared for that as it's a nationwide thing, not just Bethesda! DH and I grew up in suburbia where if you didn't have a car, friends with a car, or a stay home parent to drive you some place, you weren't going -- there was no walkability, no subway/metro etc. That was actually a big thing for me that my parents didn't by me a car (used) AND didn't allow me to get a job so I could save up for a car -- and I was quite resentful. And even in my above average but not rich suburb, the rich kids got brand new SUVs the moment they got a license. I've always been 100% unwavering that each one gets a car on their 16th birthday. It'll be like a basic model Honda/Toyota, not a Mercedes, and if we have one to hand down at that time, fine; if not, they will get new cars.

OP, the reality is that your children are growing up in a wealthier family than you did. I’m in the same boat. I have come to terms that my daughter’s expectations for how things should be will be different from what mine were growing up. But it is not all bad. Sure, she will want to go to Europe just like her friends do every year, when I was hoping to go to have my parents take me on a 4 - 5 hour drive to Lake George, NY. On the flip side, the idea of going to an Ivy League college is not something my friends or I considered. Nor did we consider the possibility of obtaining high paying jobs to be very realistic.

[Anonymous]

I was surprised by the opposite. There are people here with plenty of money who never seem to take vacation- maybe one week a year on the jersey shore or Bethany or some such. I don’t understand it.

[Anonymous]

I’m not surprised people have the $ to travel so much but that they can get off work so often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not surprised people have the $ to travel so much but that they can get off work so often.

A good chunk of the portion of the DC area has the ability to work remotely and not necessarily 9-5. That probably plays into this.

[Anonymous]

OP you mentioned fly to LA for vacation. Europe is poplular with a lot of DC residents because of proximity. If you really think about The flight isn’t that different.

[Anonymous]

Op why did you choose a week in Seattle? Did you ask the kids where they want to go? When I got older I remember my family talking and dreaming up places to go. Seattle is nice, but more of a place you join a spouse on a work trip.

Some people just don't like to go overseas. I've sadly spent more per day in ocean city than most places in Europe and I hate ocean city. We do travel 3-5x a year on miles because of work miles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not surprised people have the $ to travel so much but that they can get off work so often.

Just the Feds who don't have much annual leave. Lots of big companies give 4-8weeks a year.

[Anonymous]

OP I grew up in a very affluent suburb of Chicago and traveling during breaks wasn’t the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bethesda is a very competitive area in general. Most people sending their kids to the public schools are living there specifically for the quality of the schools. Which means they care about their child going to a prestigious college.

Nowadays getting into a prestigious college means the kids have to be well-rounded, and to many that means being world travelers. Seems silly to think that parents of middle schoolers are thinking that way, but in Bethesda, they are.

Umm, having rich parents who take you on multiple international vacations a year (to swanky places, not to volunteer in Africa or something) is going to affect your application to prestigious colleges?