Out of control vacation expectations - (new to) Bethesda teens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s so bad at my Arlington elementary school that the Principal has to reprimand families by email and newsletter for missing so much school. People think nothing of pulling kids out during school or extending every long weekend/holiday break. Nobody stays in town except the people stuck in travel sports—but then they are out of town a lot for tournaments. They are a lot of exotic trips. It’s asked “where are you going” anytime theee is a break.

It’s crazy.

My sons school encourages the travel and teachers are great about giving related assignments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s because they can’t wait to get out of town. Hate living in DC
— used to be one

This is so weird to me. We are not rich, but we travel a lot. We also live in DC and really enjoy it. It's possible to like where you live and also like to travel. And if you aren't paying for private school, country clubs or luxury cars, UMC people can buy a nice house in DC (we're in Woodley Park and like it) and still afford to travel frequently.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry if you think it's unfair that some of us have more but that's just the way it is. DH is a lobbyist on the healthcare side and makes 7 figures. We've always held travel as a priority because he and I grew up in families where travel was a priority and we feel international exposure is the best education we can provide our two children. Yes, we do at least two international trips per year, 1-2 weeks each, and at least four domestic trips per year, usually to Park City, southern Utah, or the Bay Area. Yes, I'm proud that my children have only experienced business class when traveling. I'm happy we can provide this for them. What do you want me to say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry if you think it's unfair that some of us have more but that's just the way it is. DH is a lobbyist on the healthcare side and makes 7 figures. We've always held travel as a priority because he and I grew up in families where travel was a priority and we feel international exposure is the best education we can provide our two children. Yes, we do at least two international trips per year, 1-2 weeks each, and at least four domestic trips per year, usually to Park City, southern Utah, or the Bay Area. Yes, I'm proud that my children have only experienced business class when traveling. I'm happy we can provide this for them. What do you want me to say?

Your snobbery disgusts me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry if you think it's unfair that some of us have more but that's just the way it is. DH is a lobbyist on the healthcare side and makes 7 figures. We've always held travel as a priority because he and I grew up in families where travel was a priority and we feel international exposure is the best education we can provide our two children. Yes, we do at least two international trips per year, 1-2 weeks each, and at least four domestic trips per year, usually to Park City, southern Utah, or the Bay Area. Yes, I'm proud that my children have only experienced business class when traveling. I'm happy we can provide this for them. What do you want me to say?

Good for you. I have some acquaintances like this. They are still financing the jet set lifestyle for adult children who are in their 30s. Staring adult life in an efficiency and working for a living at $20 per hour just doesn't cut it for people raised with this level of entitlement. Also, the adult kids are not willing to spend time with their parents and siblings unless it involves a trip to someplace very posh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry if you think it's unfair that some of us have more but that's just the way it is. DH is a lobbyist on the healthcare side and makes 7 figures. We've always held travel as a priority because he and I grew up in families where travel was a priority and we feel international exposure is the best education we can provide our two children. Yes, we do at least two international trips per year, 1-2 weeks each, and at least four domestic trips per year, usually to Park City, southern Utah, or the Bay Area. Yes, I'm proud that my children have only experienced business class when traveling. I'm happy we can provide this for them. What do you want me to say?

Good for you. I have some acquaintances like this. They are still financing the jet set lifestyle for adult children who are in their 30s. Staring adult life in an efficiency and working for a living at $20 per hour just doesn't cut it for people raised with this level of entitlement. Also, the adult kids are not willing to spend time with their parents and siblings unless it involves a trip to someplace very posh.

Np but I feel this way too. My annual leave is really valuable to me and I can't deal with a camping vacation or a trip to the beach off season to spend time with inlaws. Why can't they pick better places?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry if you think it's unfair that some of us have more but that's just the way it is. DH is a lobbyist on the healthcare side and makes 7 figures. We've always held travel as a priority because he and I grew up in families where travel was a priority and we feel international exposure is the best education we can provide our two children. Yes, we do at least two international trips per year, 1-2 weeks each, and at least four domestic trips per year, usually to Park City, southern Utah, or the Bay Area. Yes, I'm proud that my children have only experienced business class when traveling. I'm happy we can provide this for them. What do you want me to say?

Your snobbery disgusts me.

PP here. I guess it doesn't help to add that since we've going to the Greek isles so frequently that we just closed on our third house, on Antiparos?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry if you think it's unfair that some of us have more but that's just the way it is. DH is a lobbyist on the healthcare side and makes 7 figures. We've always held travel as a priority because he and I grew up in families where travel was a priority and we feel international exposure is the best education we can provide our two children. Yes, we do at least two international trips per year, 1-2 weeks each, and at least four domestic trips per year, usually to Park City, southern Utah, or the Bay Area. Yes, I'm proud that my children have only experienced business class when traveling. I'm happy we can provide this for them. What do you want me to say?

Your snobbery disgusts me.

PP here. I guess it doesn't help to add that since we've going to the Greek isles so frequently that we just closed on our third house, on Antiparos?

Look, you're not kidding anyone. We know you're a troll.

No one is "proud" that their kids have only ever flown business. There are kids who have never flown economy but one isn't "proud" of that. It's just a fact of life for them. You only wrote that because you were inviting controversy.

[Anonymous]

OP, DC has a high concentration of affluent families with high disposable incomes, and travel is what many people do with their disposable incomes. What else would you do with the money?

DC also has a high concentration of people who genuinely prioritize travel. Look at all the industries based out of DC. They will spend money on travel and be frugal in other areas of their lives to support regular overseas trip and there is truth that it's not always that expensive to travel abroad if you know what to do and where to go and how to economize.

Between the two you will find many people travelling.

The truth is that travelling has never been as easy, cheap and accessible as it is today. When I was a kid in the 1980s/1990s going abroad to the UK was a big deal. I remember our family trips to Western Europe as a teenager. People were impressed. Now? No one is impressed unless it's Bhutan or Chile or Zambia. And that's because travelling simply has become much easier and affordable.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP. We bought a fixer-upper in NE about five years ago that we're slowly working on. Kids go to Basis DC. We don't own a car and walk to and from the grocery stores on H Street NE. We don't go out to eat much. What we save goes to travel. Domestically and internationally. About 2-3 trips per year. Unlike PP snob, it's economy on economy airlines like Norwegian or WOW or Southwest. Once we get there, say Paris or Rome, we find low cost accommodations like AirBnB or even a family oriented hostel. Eat on the cheap, visit museums, and generally Bond as a family without any smartphones around. Education at its best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read all the PPs, but we're in Chevy Chase and joke that there is a 3-vacation minimum -- a ski trip, a Carribean trip, a non-beach international trip -- plus a beach house for summer. My sibling in NY follows this as well even though they can't really afford it. My family is lucky to have a beach house (a shared family place) but the rest of our trips are to see family.

Fwiw I think the disparity bothers me more than them. My middle school kid's best friend routinely goes to exotic (awesome!) destinations - total lifestyles of the rich and famous stuff. Doesn't bother my kid at all that he hasn't been any of these places. I hope we can swing a few overseas trips when he's in HS.

I think this is true IME.

We like to travel and we do it as much as we can (4 weeks a year) but I always feel "less than" because we can't afford to do 4 trips a year and stay at top of the line resorts. So we do an AI in St. Lucia for 10k for the week but not Sugar Beach for 20k. And so on.

I'm envious of the times who do top of the lines resorts all 4 breaks plus a long European trip in the summer. Plus they have a beach house. That's the life I want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry if you think it's unfair that some of us have more but that's just the way it is. DH is a lobbyist on the healthcare side and makes 7 figures. We've always held travel as a priority because he and I grew up in families where travel was a priority and we feel international exposure is the best education we can provide our two children. Yes, we do at least two international trips per year, 1-2 weeks each, and at least four domestic trips per year, usually to Park City, southern Utah, or the Bay Area. Yes, I'm proud that my children have only experienced business class when traveling. I'm happy we can provide this for them. What do you want me to say?

Your snobbery disgusts me.

PP here. I guess it doesn't help to add that since we've going to the Greek isles so frequently that we just closed on our third house, on Antiparos?

Look, you're not kidding anyone. We know you're a troll.

No one is "proud" that their kids have only ever flown business. There are kids who have never flown economy but one isn't "proud" of that. It's just a fact of life for them. You only wrote that because you were inviting controversy.

Yep. The statement that she is proud to have her kids fly business class is a dead giveaway. No one thinks like this. Yes, maybe the kids do fly business class because the parents work hard and want to fly it, but everyone I know worries what it is doing to their kids and sense of entitlement, the kids own own sense of accomplishment etc.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read the whole thread, but I have raised two kids in Bethesda (9th and 12th grades) and they do not "expect" multiple vacations per year. They also don't "expect" new phones every year or two, new clothes whenever they feel the urge, or dinner out every week. We spend money on things we need, and splurge when we can and when we feel it is appropriate.

I think this is a matter of setting boundaries for your family, and not being defensive to your kids about what you do or don't do.

[Anonymous]

Welcome to Bethesda. We've lived here for 20 years and it's not just vacations. Our DD came home from fourth grade wanting to know why we weren't in a country club. The kids were talking about it at recess. Fourth grade! Just stand firm and say that you do what is right for your family and they do what's right for theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry if you think it's unfair that some of us have more but that's just the way it is. DH is a lobbyist on the healthcare side and makes 7 figures. We've always held travel as a priority because he and I grew up in families where travel was a priority and we feel international exposure is the best education we can provide our two children. Yes, we do at least two international trips per year, 1-2 weeks each, and at least four domestic trips per year, usually to Park City, southern Utah, or the Bay Area. Yes, I'm proud that my children have only experienced business class when traveling. I'm happy we can provide this for them. What do you want me to say?

Less.