Sidwell parents — is your child happy?

[Anonymous]

No one at SFS is doing "four hours" of homework at night unless they are perfectionistic or very disorganized...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds very sad - what kind of childhood are these kids having? 4 hours of homework a night! Please stop this madness. At my Ivy (Princeton) the public school kids were just as prepared if not more then the kids who went to boarding schools or the Sidwells....you may not want to hear this but the private school crew were a lot more into the harder partying...

Oops, you accidentally mentioned where you went to college!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone even the smartest of the bunch have tutors to give them an edge. It’s a ridiculous environment to put a kid in. Even worse is it’s not so Quaker encouragement of rampant competition and self righteousness.

I am the PP with two kids. Neither has ever had a tutor. Not once.

our friends' SFS kids didn't have tutors either, just two Phd parents (one sahm) who practically relived their HS coursework through their two kids. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone even the smartest of the bunch have tutors to give them an edge. It’s a ridiculous environment to put a kid in. Even worse is it’s not so Quaker encouragement of rampant competition and self righteousness.

I am the PP with two kids. Neither has ever had a tutor. Not once.

our friends' SFS kids didn't have tutors either, just two Phd parents (one sahm) who practically relived their HS coursework through their two kids. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

cf Race to Nowhere....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds very sad - what kind of childhood are these kids having? 4 hours of homework a night! Please stop this madness. At my Ivy (Princeton) the public school kids were just as prepared if not more then the kids who went to boarding schools or the Sidwells....you may not want to hear this but the private school crew were a lot more into the harder partying...

I actually feel my kids have received a terrific education at Sidwell. There is a lot of work, but most of it is really good work. The workload varies, but there is quite a bit of stress. They have been well prepared for the top colleges.

[Anonymous]

I have heard Sidwell parents matter of factly state that Sidwell HS is harder than college so there's that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have heard Sidwell parents matter of factly state that Sidwell HS is harder than college so there's that.

That’s unsurprising. I found college easy. Most people I know found college easy—or at least not as challenging as one would expect. And no, I’m not talking low-ranked schools. Grad school—now THAT is a different story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have heard Sidwell parents matter of factly state that Sidwell HS is harder than college so there's that.

That’s unsurprising. I found college easy. Most people I know found college easy—or at least not as challenging as one would expect. And no, I’m not talking low-ranked schools. Grad school—now THAT is a different story.

Agree. You have more time and take fewer classes in college. And most kids drop most of the intense extras too.

[Anonymous]

We have 2 kids at SFS (MS/US) and both are doing fine. They love their school and despite the rigor, wouldn't want to attend any other. Our US child is making mostly B's with a sprinkling of A's and C's, but that child has a heavier sports schedule and is more social than the younger one. Homework load for both kids varies from 2-3 hours a night, but not every night and we've never used a tutor for either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have heard Sidwell parents matter of factly state that Sidwell HS is harder than college so there's that.

I went to B-CC in the ‘90s and it was harder than my college (granted not an ivy, but still competitive). Not sure saying this says much about a school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds very sad - what kind of childhood are these kids having? 4 hours of homework a night! Please stop this madness. At my Ivy (Princeton) the public school kids were just as prepared if not more then the kids who went to boarding schools or the Sidwells....you may not want to hear this but the private school crew were a lot more into the harder partying...

That was probably 30 years ago...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:We have many friends with kids at Sidwell and even the Sidwell boosters acknowledge that it can be a grind, with a lot of pressure on the kids. We discouraged our two from applying, for that reason: we have kids who do well academically but I just don't want them in that kind of hothouse environment.

Honestly though, we felt the same way about GDS, Maret and the Cathedral Schools, so in that sense I don't know that Sidwell is any "worse."

SFS parent and I agree with this. SFS is no better or worse on this front than any of the other top schools.

OP, you've gotten a good picture here. If you have a perfectionist kid, any of these schools will intensify that trait and thus may or may not be a good match, depending on what you want for your kid ultimately. My DC is anything but a perfectionist, especially when it comes to studies, and, ironically, is doing well at SFS, maybe because of that. Not top of the class by any means, but doing fine and is very happy there.

I am happy to hear this. My DC is in 8th at one of these schools is not particularly worried about their academic performance and evaluation. DC does ok, and contributes very well to the school in other areas, but is not going to win any academic awards, so to speak. I do worry that DC might develop a sort of inferiority complex in HS though, as more high fliers are added.

This is the reason we did not want our kids at any of these schools (Sidwell, GDS, Cathedral, Maret). We worried that one of two things would happen: either DCs would remain their sweet, balanced selves, working hard but not to the point of fatigue or burnout, but would start feeling like second class citizens at schools that value the super high fliers more than the bright, creative but not turbo-charged kids, or else DCs, not wanting to feel like second class citizens, would knock themselves out to become super high fliers, with a resulting toll on sleep, balance, and general mental health.

We didn't think either outcome sounded appealing so we focused on the good-but-not-quite-so-high-pressure schools (Burke, Field, St Andrews etc.), which have worked well for our kids. They do well in school, work hard but not crazy hard, and seem to be pretty sane, relaxed people. We figure they have their whole adult lives to work under pressure: no need to make their teen years more miserable than teen years tend to be regardless.

Wish I'd had this advice before our two oldest kids started at SFS. It took us till the third kid to figure out that the education at the less intense schools is just as good, but without the pressure-cooker atmosphere.

True, but you also don't get the brand name, and you're paying just as much for the product.

The brand name is worth about as much as you paid for the decal on your car.

[Anonymous]

Maybe things have changed but when I was in high school, GDS was way more mellow than Sidwell. Rigorous academically but not nearly as competitive and culturally much more relaxed. Sidwell has a Harry Potter style demerit system iirc.

The only way I knew I wasn’t the smartest at GDS was reading other students’ papers. And there were definitely easier course tracks available without creating a caste system.

[Anonymous]

The thing about this thread is that those opposing sidwell like environments act as if all kids are the same. If your kid loves Burke or field then they may not like sidwell. Or if a kid is unhappy at a “sidwell like” school they may love Burke or field. But some kids do actually enjoy the challenge. They thrive off of it. Most kids are not like this, but if you do have a kid like this, they are the kind of kid who will be happy at a school like sidwell.