Mother in law pushing for grandchild before death

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It might be a comfort to your wife to have a baby to look after when her mother dies, as something to focus on besides the grief. Your wife may also be glad her mother got to meet the baby.

This is a great point. My grandmother ( who was my stand in mom) passed away about a year before I had my son. It has been so hard. Having your mom around when you're a new mom is a wonderful thing. I wish I had that.

Omg, my mom completely abandoned me and went to the beach with her new BF for the entire summer and part of the fall...
When she came over one time I made dinner and she handed me the crying baby so she could eat.
Just make sure that you are remembering YOUR actual mother and not the moms you see on tv.

[Anonymous]

OP, there's nothing for YOU to handle. Be supportive to your wife, and let her handle her mother. It makes sense to wait to have a baby, but sometimes life throws a curve ball, and it may become an overwhelming emotional issue for your wife if she changes her mind and wants one sooner because of her mom's situation.

You're facing inconvenience, your wife is facing her mother's impending death and a crazy amount of pressure.

I personally can't imagine pressuring my children to pop out babies before I die. I'm sorry for all concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, there's nothing for YOU to handle. Be supportive to your wife, and let her handle her mother. It makes sense to wait to have a baby, but sometimes life throws a curve ball, and it may become an overwhelming emotional issue for your wife if she changes her mind and wants one sooner because of her mom's situation.

You're facing inconvenience, your wife is facing her mother's impending death and a crazy amount of pressure.

I personally can't imagine pressuring my children to pop out babies before I die. I'm sorry for all concerned.

Don't you think there is a difference between pressuring people into having kids who have no plans and pressuring people to have kids now when they are already planning to try within the year? That's what gets me about this. The six month difference and who even knows if they'll get pregnant right away anyway?

[Anonymous]

Had a friend whose mother "needed" for her daughter to be engaged and settled before she died. Poor girl rushed into marriage. No, even having a terminal disease is not an appropriate reason to dictate other people's life decisions. Those other people will have to live with the results.

[Anonymous]

I lost my mum unexpectedly a few months after having my first child. Knowing what I know now I would have had my kids sooner- especially if it's only a shifting of 6 months.

No one knows how long they have and even if you were pg now, who is to say if either of them will be here long enough to even meet each other. Sorry, but that's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had a friend whose mother "needed" for her daughter to be engaged and settled before she died. Poor girl rushed into marriage. No, even having a terminal disease is not an appropriate reason to dictate other people's life decisions. Those other people will have to live with the results.

Nobody in OP's post is rushing into marriage or rushing into deciding to have children. They are already married and have already decided to have children. This is a 'March' vs 'September' question not a 'do we' or 'don't we' question

[Anonymous]

Tell your mother in law to stop being selfish.

[Anonymous]

Have kids when YOU are ready. There are a million other ways to support your MIL, this is not her call and it's incredibly presumptuous of her to pressure you about this.