Mother in law pushing for grandchild before death

[Anonymous]

Your wife will be a wreck if she has a newborn and her mother dies right before or right after that happens.

That said, having your mom around when you are pregnant is pretty special so your wife may want to have the baby sooner for her own reasons.

[Anonymous]

Wow, what a bunch of selfish, self-centered, narrow minded bitches here! The timeline is less than a year off! Have a baby for God's sake!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG.....give MIL a baby if you can. What are we talking about....1 or 2 years.
I know a few people who have been in this position...got pregnant and had a child before grandmother passed away.
What greater gift? What greater joy for Grandma, your beautiful child and YOU.
You will NEVER regret it.
Go for it.
Wishing you all the best.

I actually agree with this. If I was planning on becoming in a year or two anyways and found out my mother had terminal cancer, I'd get pregnant right away so my mother could become a grandmother before she died. If you don't you'll probably always regret that your mother never met your child.

[Anonymous]

Well it’s your wife’s mom. What does your wife say? I know people like to rip on the MIL- but I see her perspective to be honest. Now is not the time to be coldhearted. If it was me and I already had the intention of having a baby- I would be trying before schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG.....give MIL a baby if you can. What are we talking about....1 or 2 years.
I know a few people who have been in this position...got pregnant and had a child before grandmother passed away.
What greater gift? What greater joy for Grandma, your beautiful child and YOU.
You will NEVER regret it.
Go for it.
Wishing you all the best.

I actually agree with this. If I was planning on becoming in a year or two anyways and found out my mother had terminal cancer, I'd get pregnant right away so my mother could become a grandmother before she died. If you don't you'll probably always regret that your mother never met your child.

+1

Since you were planning to start trying soon anyway, I would think about it, and go for it if your wife wants to. I got pregnant just before my DH’s grandmother was diagnosed with advanced stage cancer, and all the talk about he baby was a great distraction for her that brought her a log of happiness. She ended up living more than the few months she was given by the doctors, and got to see our DC born and grow into a toddler. DC is much older now and still remembers his great grandmother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG.....give MIL a baby if you can. What are we talking about....1 or 2 years.
I know a few people who have been in this position...got pregnant and had a child before grandmother passed away.
What greater gift? What greater joy for Grandma, your beautiful child and YOU.
You will NEVER regret it.
Go for it.
Wishing you all the best.

I actually agree with this. If I was planning on becoming in a year or two anyways and found out my mother had terminal cancer, I'd get pregnant right away so my mother could become a grandmother before she died. If you don't you'll probably always regret that your mother never met your child.

+1

Since you were planning to start trying soon anyway, I would think about it, and go for it if your wife wants to. I got pregnant just before my DH’s grandmother was diagnosed with advanced stage cancer, and all the talk about he baby was a great distraction for her that brought her a log of happiness. She ended up living more than the few months she was given by the doctors, and got to see our DC born and grow into a toddler. DC is much older now and still remembers his great grandmother.

Don’t compare DH’s GRANDMA to OP’s wife’s MOM. You are a generation off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think 6 months earlier will really make a difference in the broad scheme of things. If your wife wanted to change her plans then I think that would be totally reasonable. Unless the exam you have coming up is truly brutal I'd consider it.

I don’t think 6 months makes a difference either. If you’re planning to try in 6 months, you could easily try now.

Plus you mentioned that there’s a possibility you may not pass the first time. Putting off pregnancy yet again seems silly. You’ll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG.....give MIL a baby if you can. What are we talking about....1 or 2 years.
I know a few people who have been in this position...got pregnant and had a child before grandmother passed away.
What greater gift? What greater joy for Grandma, your beautiful child and YOU.
You will NEVER regret it.
Go for it.
Wishing you all the best.

I actually agree with this. If I was planning on becoming in a year or two anyways and found out my mother had terminal cancer, I'd get pregnant right away so my mother could become a grandmother before she died. If you don't you'll probably always regret that your mother never met your child.

+1

Since you were planning to start trying soon anyway, I would think about it, and go for it if your wife wants to. I got pregnant just before my DH’s grandmother was diagnosed with advanced stage cancer, and all the talk about he baby was a great distraction for her that brought her a log of happiness. She ended up living more than the few months she was given by the doctors, and got to see our DC born and grow into a toddler. DC is much older now and still remembers his great grandmother.

I agree with these people. You were planning to start trying in a few months anyway, I don't see any harm in moving it up if your wife wants to. It may take a while to get pregnant anyway. Having my mom around for my pregnancies and to bond with my babies has been amazing. I know if I were in your shoes, I would be trying ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Given that she was already pressuring your wife for a grandchild (which is ridiculous) I wonder if she’s really telling the truth about her cancer. Is she controlling and manipulative in other areas as well?

[Anonymous]

From a mother's point of view (who also has a life-threatening illness): It would never occur to me to do this. My kids need to be settled and ready before they have children, and that is what I've always told them. I wouldn't suddenly change my opinions based on my health. I've lived my life, had my children, raised them, and had my chances. Now it's their turn. I want? my children to be happy. That's all I ask. I'll fight for myself as long as I can, but I will not make demands that affect their lives. I love them too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given that she was already pressuring your wife for a grandchild (which is ridiculous) I wonder if she’s really telling the truth about her cancer. Is she controlling and manipulative in other areas as well?

m

It’s probably slow growing stage I estrogen positive breast cancer. She’ll be here for 30-40 more years.

[Anonymous]

It might be a comfort to your wife to have a baby to look after when her mother dies, as something to focus on besides the grief. Your wife may also be glad her mother got to meet the baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It might be a comfort to your wife to have a baby to look after when her mother dies, as something to focus on besides the grief. Your wife may also be glad her mother got to meet the baby.

This is a great point. My grandmother ( who was my stand in mom) passed away about a year before I had my son. It has been so hard. Having your mom around when you're a new mom is a wonderful thing. I wish I had that.

[Anonymous]

You are staring down regret either way here. I'm on team baby now.

[Anonymous]

She will need her mom in strange and unpredictable ways when she becomes a mom. Do it, OP. You not regret it, and your wife could be devastated if you wait and she finally has her baby and her mom never sees her with it in her arms.