Toddlers and preschoolers using bottles and pacifiers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised no one has brought up yet the most important thing about all of this: NO BABY should EVER have a bottle, period. How about that for a judgemental viewpoint?! Bottles contain subpar sustenance, and they teach the baby an inferior way of suckling which in turn hinders the growth of their jaw and facial musculo-skeletal structures. It's true, just ask La Leche League. There's also people who believe that no child should EVER have a pacifier, either, as it can interfere with breastfeeding.

OP, get off your high horse. There's a hundred other opinions (and valid ones, at that) besides yours, which include strong views in both directions from yours.

Now I've read everything! No baby should ever have a bottle....!!!

Thanks for a great laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised no one has brought up yet the most important thing about all of this: NO BABY should EVER have a bottle, period. How about that for a judgemental viewpoint?! Bottles contain subpar sustenance, and they teach the baby an inferior way of suckling which in turn hinders the growth of their jaw and facial musculo-skeletal structures. It's true, just ask La Leche League. There's also people who believe that no child should EVER have a pacifier, either, as it can interfere with breastfeeding.

OP, get off your high horse. There's a hundred other opinions (and valid ones, at that) besides yours, which include strong views in both directions from yours.

Now I've read everything! No baby should ever have a bottle....!!!

Thanks for a great laugh.

But...that was the PP's entire point, that there are people out there with different opinions that may seem crazy to others at both extremes of the spectrum. So we should live and let live.

[Anonymous]

OP, thank you for enlightening all of us on how to be a better parent by telling us what you've done and think, and how anyone not doing what you're doing is just plain wrong. I can't for the life of me figure out the point of your post except to give yourself a big pat on the back for weaning your child(ren) from bottles and pacifiers at the "appropriate" age and to let all the rest of us know we don't have a f***ing clue what we're doing. Someone ought to give you the "Mother of the Year Award" for that one. Bravo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay - so here is some advice. TAKE the paci and the bottle away when your DC is old enough to self-soothe and drink from a sippy cup. YOU are the parent and you are responsible for teaching your child independence and confidence. I really don't care what you do with your kid, but if I see a 3 or 4yo in public with a paci or bottle, my opinion is that it DOES look ridiculous. You want people with this opinion to not worry about what your DC is doing, so why are you so worried about others opinion on your DC?

Make it a policy offering random people unsolicited advice, do you?

Do you do this right to their face? Walk up to moms at Safeway and lecture them about how THEY are the parent and THEY are responsible for teaching their child independence and confidence? I'd love to see that.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I posted my view on a topic that I find disturbing. I can't fathom why anyone would give their 3 1/2 yr old a pacifier. I never said anything to the mom at Tysons mall. That's not my place. I posted this because I was hoping I could find just one parent out there that had a valid reason for giving their toddler or preschooler a pacifier. It was confirmed through 4 pages of posts that no one had a valid reason for giving a pacifier to their child. I did like the mother though that said her nearly 4 yr old daughter needed her paci because she didn't have a favorite blanket or toy to sleep with. Umm either did my child but I suppose that was her excuse. I never said those who give their children pacifiers or bottles were bad parents. That was never said in my original post. I also like the mom that said her child is gifted but still used a paci. Again, my post was never attacking your child's intelligence capacity but those moms just had to take it there. It's a shame they had to resort to their children's abilities or talents instead of answering why their child had a pacifier.
Sure my point was judgemental but I was looking for any answers on why older children "needed" pacifiers. In some households, kids are making all the rules. My opinion.

[Anonymous]

Maybe mothers whose children need pacifiers are well-adjusted enough not to feel the need for universal approval, and thus don't bother to explain themselves to you?

I am thinking that "You are the parent" (or better yet, "YOU ARE THE PARENT") deserves a designation similar to Godwin's law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In some households, kids are making all the rules. My opinion.

This goes with the YOU ARE THE PARENTS business. What, exactly, is the fear about? What terrible things will happen when kids get to make [some] rules? Is it the assumption that any parent who does not take away a paci by age X must also be letting their children run in traffic, beat the crap out of other kids, commit arson? What?

[Anonymous]

No, it's about the changing attitudes of kids these days. They believe the world revolves around them and only them. They are total brats and run the households. Telling their parents what they are going to do and having no respect. It's about setting boundries for children.

I understood from an early age that my parents were in charge. I was raised to always be free to express my opinion and it would be taken into consideration, but they were the parents and knew best and their decision was their final decision. I may not always have liked it, but I grew up being respected by my parents and most importantly respecting my parents.

There seems to be a trend where parents are afraid to discipline or impose boundries on their DC b/c they might get upset or make a scene. It's EASIER for the parents to give in to everything - including giving a paci or bottle when the DC is capable (some rare exceptions may exists) of using other methods to soothe themselves or use a cup. IMHO, it's a trend that the parents are starting with their DC that the DC gets their way.

I stated before that I don't care what you do with your DC, but don't get so offended when other parents look at you and your DC like their are some parenting issues present. Also, when your DC threatens to call child services on you when you try to inforce any rules of behavior - good luck dealing with them! This is really happening.

[Anonymous]

I actually understand what the mom meant when she mentioned that her 4 yr old didn't have a special toy or anything else to soothe herself to sleep. All kids are different. Some kids need more help getting to sleep. Good for you OP that your child could sleep so easily w/o any help. But not all kids can. There is a huge difference in a pacifier for bed only and a child walking around with a pacifier all day. Why you can't see that there is no harm done if a child uses a paci for a few minutes a night is beyond me.

I'd also like to add - some of us don't believe that hitting the one year mark magically makes a child a grown being who should be able to use glassware and forgo soothing practices. A 15 month old is STILL A BABY in my opinion. For you potty training Nazis - the AVERAGE age of potty training is 3 years old. That's average - meaning there are kids younger than that AND older than that. You are not a better parent than one whose child didn't potty train until 4.

As far as the smart kids comment: Most of the smart kids I know are actually pretty difficult when it comes to sleeping and other habits, including acting out and being stubborn about potty use and giving things up, such as a pacifier. In fact, of the 4 highly intelligent kids I know personally, they are all a big pain in the butt most of the time. I don't know if this is because the parents allow it more (I don't see much evidence of that when I interact with them, but I guess you never know) or if smart kids are jsut more difficult in general....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, it's about the changing attitudes of kids these days. They believe the world revolves around them and only them. They are total brats and run the households. Telling their parents what they are going to do and having no respect. It's about setting boundries for children.

I understood from an early age that my parents were in charge. I was raised to always be free to express my opinion and it would be taken into consideration, but they were the parents and knew best and their decision was their final decision. I may not always have liked it, but I grew up being respected by my parents and most importantly respecting my parents.

There seems to be a trend where parents are afraid to discipline or impose boundries on their DC b/c they might get upset or make a scene. It's EASIER for the parents to give in to everything - including giving a paci or bottle when the DC is capable (some rare exceptions may exists) of using other methods to soothe themselves or use a cup. IMHO, it's a trend that the parents are starting with their DC that the DC gets their way.

I stated before that I don't care what you do with your DC, but don't get so offended when other parents look at you and your DC like their are some parenting issues present. Also, when your DC threatens to call child services on you when you try to inforce any rules of behavior - good luck dealing with them! This is really happening.

Maybe when you think they are looking at you "offended" they are really marveling at how much time you must waste massively overeacting to things that don't concern you. The level of extrapolation and assumption in this post is astounding. I bet the kids are calling child protective services are desperate to escape their hyper-judgmental and rigid parents!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, it's about the changing attitudes of kids these days. They believe the world revolves around them and only them. They are total brats and run the households. Telling their parents what they are going to do and having no respect. It's about setting boundries for children.

I understood from an early age that my parents were in charge. I was raised to always be free to express my opinion and it would be taken into consideration, but they were the parents and knew best and their decision was their final decision. I may not always have liked it, but I grew up being respected by my parents and most importantly respecting my parents.

There seems to be a trend where parents are afraid to discipline or impose boundries on their DC b/c they might get upset or make a scene. It's EASIER for the parents to give in to everything - including giving a paci or bottle when the DC is capable (some rare exceptions may exists) of using other methods to soothe themselves or use a cup. IMHO, it's a trend that the parents are starting with their DC that the DC gets their way.

I stated before that I don't care what you do with your DC, but don't get so offended when other parents look at you and your DC like their are some parenting issues present. Also, when your DC threatens to call child services on you when you try to inforce any rules of behavior - good luck dealing with them! This is really happening.

Once again, what entitles you to presume, on seeing a child who is not potty-trained by whatever age you deem appropriate or is still using a bottle, that this child's parent is someone who is not guiding his or her child to become a mature person who respects other people and does not, in fact, presume the world revolves around them? It is just such a leap. For example, I try not to presume, on hearing that someone used CIO, that this means that parent must be a right-wing nut who also uses a switch on his or her kids, deprives them completely of autonomy, rules by fear, etc. and that those kids will therefore one day be in our prison system for violent behavior. That would be a crazy leap as well, wouldn't it?

[Anonymous]

To the Op and others who are appalled by bottle and pacifiers - my almost 3 yo sucks her fingers (two in fact), she started at around 4 months and have not stopped despite our and our doctor's efforts. What do you suggest that I do- cut her fingers off. How exactly do I get her to cope and sooth without relying on her fingers. If you see my daughter sucking her finger in public will you be disgusted?

I am not a fan of the pacifier but I would never dare to think that a parent is doing something wrong if their has one, just becasue I do not like it does not mean that it is a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

I sucked on a paci at night till I was five years old. Can you believe that my parents weren't put into jail for this kind of treatment? Funny thing is I got in to all the 'right' pre-schools and even graduated from Harvard with highest honors.

I hope parents don't channel any of the judgemental tendencies displayed on this thread towards their children - or they are going to have a lot bigger issues than whether/how long they suck a paci.

[Anonymous]

PP, it's really easy to come on here and type that you graduated from Harvard with honors. Sure. Okay. What does that have to do with what we're talking about? You're completely off topic. Oh, and by the way, I'm a top model that travels weekly to Paris. I command $100,000 per runway show too as long as it only lasts 10 minutes.

[Anonymous]

I was one of those "smug" parents that couldn't believe why OTHER parents were so lazy to let their kids continue with the pacifier, bottle, etc. I was so smug because we did CIO for 2 nights and my DS slept through the night from 6 wks. on - took 3 hour naps 'til 3 yo, stopped the bottle at exactly 1 y.o., was potty trained in a week and ate all his vegetables and never went through the "terrible twos" - I am serious. He was a PERFECT baby/toddler. Then Number 2 came along - he's 2.5 and still takes a bottle at night, has temper tantrums all the time, did not sleep through the night for the first year and is a real handful!
Don't judge someone else until you have walked in their shoes - raising children is an overwhelming task - NO ONE is an expert at it - even the "experts" - we are all individuals - from the day we are conceived - until the day we die - their is no formula for raising the PERFECT human being - please! Some of the most well adjusted, successful adults were, perhaps, the most difficult babies. My own brother is an Olympic athlete who was afraid of the water and used training wheels until he was 8 years old! My mom reminds me of this all the time when I tell her I am concerned that DS is still not riding a bike at 6.
I will never judge another parent unless I see obvious abuse going on!
This is such a self-righteous community of parents - or at least a few bad apples!