Husband has been messaging many women

[Anonymous]

Op I had one like that. Don’t waste your time. Get out.

Yes adultery is grounds but most places, you don’t get points because your spouse cheated. Community property.

[Anonymous]

I dated a man who had a compulsive need for online flirtation, contact, etc. I don't know if he met up with them or would have cheated but the need alone to do so, the secrecy, and the numbers (so many women, so many aliases) indicated a major issue. I later came to understand he had some signs of bipolar but not sure that was connected. He definitely had problems with his identity, with intimacy, and remains an unmarried guy in his 50s.but what really shocked me was his ability to lie and lie, and to lie about lying even. That was the point of no return for me...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I had one like that. Don’t waste your time. Get out.

Yes adultery is grounds but most places, you don’t get points because your spouse cheated. Community property.

Do I confront? I feel like he’ll turn this into invasion of privacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I had one like that. Don’t waste your time. Get out.

Yes adultery is grounds but most places, you don’t get points because your spouse cheated. Community property.

Do I confront? I feel like he’ll turn this into invasion of privacy.

What would be the point of confrontation? Do you think there's some legitimate explanation for contact? Do you think there's some underlying reason he is doing this that can be fixed? Do you think that he'll stop if you just tell him you caught him? Do you think you owe him or the marriage or your kids something by trying to work this out? Do you think you owe him honesty? Do you think you need his permission or agreement to divorce?

The answer to all of these questions is "No."

What you've seen is real. He is lying to you extensively. He is exhibiting behaviour that is deeply pathological and will require great self-insight and effort to stop. There is nothing you can do to help and in fact, divorce will probably hasten his decent to a rock bottom place where he may recognize he needs help.

Protect yourself, because he will do nothing to protect you. See an attorney. Get your ducks in a row. When you are ready, file and serve him. He doesn't need an explanation for the divorce; just tell him you're dome and walk away. You know the truth about him. Any energy you spend beyond that, spend it on getting your new life together.

[Anonymous]

Above PP is right. Confrontation won't achieve much and you will lose the edge if surprise. Ppl like this will gaslight or twist things around. Get your financial and personal house in order. See three good lawyers.when you are ready, serve him. You can say then that you are aware if everything.

Do you have kids? , Think about whether he will be a good father in his own. Will he bring women around, etc...discuss concerns with lawyer.

[Anonymous]

I think you confront those women at their homes or jobs and let them know who's boss.