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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op I had one like that. Don’t waste your time. Get out.

Yes adultery is grounds but most places, you don’t get points because your spouse cheated. Community property. [/quote]

Do I confront? I feel like he’ll turn this into invasion of privacy. [/quote]

What would be the point of confrontation? Do you think there's some legitimate explanation for contact?  Do you think there's some underlying reason he is doing this that can be fixed?  Do you think that he'll stop if you just tell him you caught him? Do you think you owe him or the marriage or your kids something by trying to work this out?  Do you think you owe him honesty?  Do you think you need his permission or agreement to divorce?

The answer to all of these questions is "No."

What you've seen is real.  He is lying to you extensively.  He is exhibiting behaviour that is deeply pathological and will require great self-insight and effort to stop.  There is nothing you can do to help and in fact, divorce will probably hasten his decent to a rock bottom place where he may recognize he needs help.

Protect yourself, because he will do nothing to protect you.  See an attorney.  Get your ducks in a row.  When you are ready, file and serve him.  He doesn't need an explanation for the divorce; just tell him you're dome and walk away.  You know the truth about him.  Any energy you spend beyond that, spend it on getting your new life together.[/quote]

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