Invited daughters friend over to play and the dad asked if I could watch other child, too

[Anonymous]

Totally rude and weird. Who are these people who think it's okay because he's "just asking a question"? If you and I have agreed to go out to lunch together, is it okay if I bring my husband and ask if you'll pay for lunch? It's just a question, after all. Having a playdate for two specific children =/= agreeing to babysit all your kids. And asking someone for free babysitting is bizarre.

[Anonymous]

What if the parent offers to stay and supervise younger sibling and yhou don't feel like entertaining an adult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally rude and weird. Who are these people who think it's okay because he's "just asking a question"? If you and I have agreed to go out to lunch together, is it okay if I bring my husband and ask if you'll pay for lunch? It's just a question, after all. Having a playdate for two specific children =/= agreeing to babysit all your kids. And asking someone for free babysitting is bizarre.

I am so glad that my community is not formal and cold. I can be asked by a random mom to pick up or drop off or watch her kid, the sibling of DC's friend, when needed. When going on the business trips, other parents help with logistics and, sometimes, overnight accommodation. Not friends, parents of the kids from the same school. Having a 7 year old in addition to couple if tweens would not have been a problem unless there are specific plans. Nobody considered it babysitting. Raising kids in a community is so much easier. Why build extra walls? Are you that afraid that someone will somehow abuse your good will? Are you doing things tit for tat only?

[Anonymous]

By "took care of a few things" he meant go bang his AP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if the parent offers to stay and supervise younger sibling and yhou don't feel like entertaining an adult?

“Sorry, I have a lot going on today and I don’t feel comfortable having more extra people in the house. Is today a bad day for you to drop Larla off? Maybe we could reschedule?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People with poor boundaries get away with it because others say "yes". You didn't want to seem rude. Perhaps you thought social etiquette dictates you say yes. Regardless, from now on don't worry about what others think of you and just give a firm "no" over and over. Do you think he would do the same for you? Unlikely. He would probably so "no" with ease.

Actually I think those “it takes a village!” types would probably say yes most of the time. They have no standards and so it’s not a big deal for them to have a small circus in their house. However, with the poor supervision you’d then wish they had said no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People with poor boundaries get away with it because others say "yes". You didn't want to seem rude. Perhaps you thought social etiquette dictates you say yes. Regardless, from now on don't worry about what others think of you and just give a firm "no" over and over. Do you think he would do the same for you? Unlikely. He would probably so "no" with ease.

Actually I think those “it takes a village!” types would probably say yes most of the time. They have no standards and so it’s not a big deal for them to have a small circus in their house. However, with the poor supervision you’d then wish they had said no.

Way to complicate things.

[Anonymous]

The mom will probably be horrified when she hears her DH did this.