Just Friendly or interested?

[Anonymous]

If I was your spouse, I would be worried about your desire to purse this woman. That much is clear about your wants. I would not contact her, unless you are trying to cause a huge damage in your marriage.

[Anonymous]

I'm a woman in a similar situation. The signals I'm getting are a bit more mixed, hot one day and cold the next. So I can't tell whether I'm misreading the "hot" ones or whether he feels conflicted since we are both married, and is self-correcting on the "cold" days.

This is taking up too much mental space because I'm trying to figure out whether I'm really picking up on signals and need to be more careful around him so that this doesn't go anywhere, or if this is all in my head. So I can see, OP, how the question is the most compelling part here. Maybe once you know, one way or the other, you will stop thinking about her.