Pansexual 6th grader

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Np: I don't think one's sexuality is something to be "tried out." If so, then the whole argument of "born this way" is false. Just as girls kissed girls to be "edgy" when I was in school, this is some new way to be controversial and I find it ridiculous.

Note: I'm pro LGBTQIA for those who know they are, but trying out things to be "cool" is nonsense.

They're middle schoolers no one said they were logical. You are all looking at this through your 40-year-old brains.

Yup. If you want to ramp up the drama, then make a big deal out of it. Whereas if you shrug and say, "Ok, your feelings are your feelings," then that

1. supports the kids who will continue to be [whatever] into adulthood, and
2. does not provide the attention that the kids who are only doing it for attention are seeking.

Win-win.

[Anonymous]

As a parent ask yourself what the upside is of trying to argue with it/fight it/punish it.

There is none.

Be Elsa and shit and let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had an argument with a friend about a pansexual colleague a few weeks ago. I'd never encountered a pansexual person before and quite honestly, I think it's ridiculous. Now we can't even subscribe gender pronouns at all? I agree that the LGBT crap has gotten way out of hand. It would appear that we're now completely ignoring science/biology/anatomy because it makes some people uncomfortable in their skin. Um, ok.

And if a pansexual person asks you about your opinion of their sexuality, then you can tell them that. But otherwise, how is their sexuality (either as they perceive it, or as you think they ought to perceive it) relevant to your life?

When I can't use "he" or "she" to speak to them because although they look like a "he" or "she" it's somehow offensive to refer to them that way. See the ridiculousness?

Why would you use "he" or "she" to speak to a person, rather than "you"?

If you don't want to talk about them as "them", then don't. Just don't be surprised if they get upset, given that they have apparently asked you to refer to them that way.

Incidentally, I think that you are confusing sexuality (who you like) with gender identity (who you are). Pansexuality refers to who you like. But I don't know your colleague -- maybe they also do not feel like they fit into the gender binary (according to which everybody is either a man or a woman).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a parent ask yourself what the upside is of trying to argue with it/fight it/punish it.

There is none.

Be Elsa and shit and let it go.

Especially when it's not even your own child!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would start by asking her what it means to her that she's pansexual. Then listen nonjudgmentally.

There's really nothing to do, regardless of her motivation for saying it.

This is a good suggestion. I had a nephew who, when he was that age, said something about incest. When further inquires were made as to what he understood "incest" to mean, it turned out that he thought it meant "when brothers and sisters kiss".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had an argument with a friend about a pansexual colleague a few weeks ago. I'd never encountered a pansexual person before and quite honestly, I think it's ridiculous. Now we can't even subscribe gender pronouns at all? I agree that the LGBT crap has gotten way out of hand. It would appear that we're now completely ignoring science/biology/anatomy because it makes some people uncomfortable in their skin. Um, ok.

And if a pansexual person asks you about your opinion of their sexuality, then you can tell them that. But otherwise, how is their sexuality (either as they perceive it, or as you think they ought to perceive it) relevant to your life?

When I can't use "he" or "she" to speak to them because although they look like a "he" or "she" it's somehow offensive to refer to them that way. See the ridiculousness?

No, I don't. It's called being respectful. And I'll tell you another thing, you know who REALLY doesn't think it's ridiculous? Middle schoolers. Let it go and chalk it up to the generation gap. You're an old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This LGBT shit has gone too far.

Why, because it makes you feel uncomfortable? Honestly, now that kids know that there are options on the table and they won't get beaten up for trying them out, they're doing so. It's actually liberating.

Options? Try them out? Wait, so being gay is now a "try it, you'll like it" kind of thing? I was finally coming to terms with the "this is who we are" thing, and now you're telling me that being gay is now an option? Sheesh, make up your minds! Frankly, I don't want my kids "trying it out."

Too bad it's out of your control.

I work with high schoolers and unfortunately this is true. The freaks have won. All the teens are fast becoming bi/pan/non-binary.

[Anonymous]

I had a similar conversation with my step-DS when she was 11 and she told me, nonchalantly, that her best friend was bi and had a gf. In 6th grade! Pretty sure this friend is hetero now in 11th grade because last argument was that she tried to steal step-DD's bf a few months ago...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a similar conversation with my step-DS when she was 11 and she told me, nonchalantly, that her best friend was bi and had a gf. In 6th grade! Pretty sure this friend is hetero now in 11th grade because last argument was that she tried to steal step-DD's bf a few months ago...

No, if you're a girl who is bi, and you have a boyfriend, that doesn't mean you're heterosexual. It means that you're a girl who is bi and has a boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had an argument with a friend about a pansexual colleague a few weeks ago. I'd never encountered a pansexual person before and quite honestly, I think it's ridiculous. Now we can't even subscribe gender pronouns at all? I agree that the LGBT crap has gotten way out of hand. It would appear that we're now completely ignoring science/biology/anatomy because it makes some people uncomfortable in their skin. Um, ok.

And if a pansexual person asks you about your opinion of their sexuality, then you can tell them that. But otherwise, how is their sexuality (either as they perceive it, or as you think they ought to perceive it) relevant to your life?

When I can't use "he" or "she" to speak to them because although they look like a "he" or "she" it's somehow offensive to refer to them that way. See the ridiculousness?

Why would you use "he" or "she" to speak to a person, rather than "you"?

If you don't want to talk about them as "them", then don't. Just don't be surprised if they get upset, given that they have apparently asked you to refer to them that way.

Incidentally, I think that you are confusing sexuality (who you like) with gender identity (who you are). Pansexuality refers to who you like. But I don't know your colleague -- maybe they also do not feel like they fit into the gender binary (according to which everybody is either a man or a woman).

"Get upset?" You mean, as in tantruming like a 2 year old? Sorry, I'm fine if she gets "upset."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had an argument with a friend about a pansexual colleague a few weeks ago. I'd never encountered a pansexual person before and quite honestly, I think it's ridiculous. Now we can't even subscribe gender pronouns at all? I agree that the LGBT crap has gotten way out of hand. It would appear that we're now completely ignoring science/biology/anatomy because it makes some people uncomfortable in their skin. Um, ok.

And if a pansexual person asks you about your opinion of their sexuality, then you can tell them that. But otherwise, how is their sexuality (either as they perceive it, or as you think they ought to perceive it) relevant to your life?

When I can't use "he" or "she" to speak to them because although they look like a "he" or "she" it's somehow offensive to refer to them that way. See the ridiculousness?

No, I don't. It's called being respectful. And I'll tell you another thing, you know who REALLY doesn't think it's ridiculous? Middle schoolers. Let it go and chalk it up to the generation gap. You're an old.

I am not "respectful" of total madness, bad parenting, and immaturity, all of which this is. It is our responsibility to help these kids grow into mature, confident adults. Not to prolong their immaturity and self centeredness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I am not "respectful" of total madness, bad parenting, and immaturity, all of which this is. It is our responsibility to help these kids grow into mature, confident adults. Not to prolong their immaturity and self centeredness.

OK, so don't be respectful. That's your choice. Just don't then complain when adults get angry at you for your lack of respect, or non-adults looking for a way to shock the olds find this an effective way to shock the olds, or your children grow up, move out, and stay as far away from you as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had an argument with a friend about a pansexual colleague a few weeks ago. I'd never encountered a pansexual person before and quite honestly, I think it's ridiculous. Now we can't even subscribe gender pronouns at all? I agree that the LGBT crap has gotten way out of hand. It would appear that we're now completely ignoring science/biology/anatomy because it makes some people uncomfortable in their skin. Um, ok.

And if a pansexual person asks you about your opinion of their sexuality, then you can tell them that. But otherwise, how is their sexuality (either as they perceive it, or as you think they ought to perceive it) relevant to your life?

When I can't use "he" or "she" to speak to them because although they look like a "he" or "she" it's somehow offensive to refer to them that way. See the ridiculousness?

Why would you use "he" or "she" to speak to a person, rather than "you"?

If you don't want to talk about them as "them", then don't. Just don't be surprised if they get upset, given that they have apparently asked you to refer to them that way.

Incidentally, I think that you are confusing sexuality (who you like) with gender identity (who you are). Pansexuality refers to who you like. But I don't know your colleague -- maybe they also do not feel like they fit into the gender binary (according to which everybody is either a man or a woman).

"Get upset?" You mean, as in tantruming like a 2 year old? Sorry, I'm fine if she gets "upset."

No, I mean as in filing a complaint about you to HR, or asking that you not be assigned to X project with them because you can't work respectfully with others on the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am not "respectful" of total madness, bad parenting, and immaturity, all of which this is. It is our responsibility to help these kids grow into mature, confident adults. Not to prolong their immaturity and self centeredness.

OK, so don't be respectful. That's your choice. Just don't then complain when adults get angry at you for your lack of respect, or non-adults looking for a way to shock the olds find this an effective way to shock the olds, or your children grow up, move out, and stay as far away from you as possible.

No joke. PP is a bitter party of one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am not "respectful" of total madness, bad parenting, and immaturity, all of which this is. It is our responsibility to help these kids grow into mature, confident adults. Not to prolong their immaturity and self centeredness.

OK, so don't be respectful. That's your choice. Just don't then complain when adults get angry at you for your lack of respect, or non-adults looking for a way to shock the olds find this an effective way to shock the olds, or your children grow up, move out, and stay as far away from you as possible.

No joke. PP is a bitter party of one.

Hardly. Trump did win, you know.