Half assed house chores better than none at all?

Anonymous


The part you're missing is that this is part of people's personalities. They can't help being "deliberate and slow" or "quick and dirty". They can try to change, but it's going to be really hard for them.

My husband and son are deliberate and VERY slow. I do a much quicker job, and I feel the quality is perfectly acceptable. In fact, I end up doing practically ALL the housework, planning and scheduling, because if I waited for them to do it, nothing would ever get done.

At the end of the day, what's important is whether what was supposed to happen actually happened in a timely manner.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:

The part you're missing is that this is part of people's personalities. They can't help being "deliberate and slow" or "quick and dirty". They can try to change, but it's going to be really hard for them.

My husband and son are deliberate and VERY slow. I do a much quicker job, and I feel the quality is perfectly acceptable. In fact, I end up doing practically ALL the housework, planning and scheduling, because if I waited for them to do it, nothing would ever get done.

At the end of the day, what's important is whether what was supposed to happen actually happened in a timely manner.



My DH has OCD and sometimes asking him to do something as simple as sign up for swim lessons or buy something for the house results on marathon discussion sessions about the options and procedure etc. Doing it myself is truly faster but I am resentful sometimes.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, is it truly half-assed or is it passive aggressive?

If there is a REASONABLE standard for how a household chore should be done (like dishes your family uses are fully clean and sanitary) then your DH should be doing it that way.

You've explained to him why and how it should be done. Yet he continues to do it his way. IMO that smacks of passive aggressiveness. Or some kind of control issue.

My DH intellectually KNOWS that the used dish cloth should be hung up after use so it can dry. Yet he insists on rolling it into a wet, compacted ball and shoving it in the sponge holder along with the sponge. Every day I take it out, hang it up and every day he does it again.

Yes, he has passive aggressive and control issues.


Gawd that sounds like autism. Like a child but one that cannot learn.


Look into this.
Anonymous
When my parents got married in the late 1960s, the preacher told my father, in front of my mother, do everything she asks you to do around the house, but do it poorly. This is actually a tactic some men employ.

Do your own laundry. let him do his own laundry and stuff like towels that are hard to screw up.

I don’t know what to tell you about the dishwasher because that is annoying. Maybe have a conversation with him about it? Show him that the dishes are not getting clean? If he continues to be that bad at that, have that be what you do and he does something else
Anonymous
Half naked chores even better
Anonymous
Something is always tbetter than nothing!
Anonymous
OP, there is no reason to think your standards are necessary
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, there is no reason to think your standards are necessary


NP. Disagree. There are, in fact, many reasons to think that the standard of "clean dish" and "non moldy clothes" are not only necessary, but also achievable for most adults (and children).
Anonymous
We have a similar issue (not quite the same). When my husband cooks, he's super sensitive to any comments such as "could you please put less salt in the salad" and the response is "why don't you cook your own food if you don't like my cooking". It's not about liking the food, how hard is it to put less salt in the bowl and then add more in your own plate? I'm not sure if this is his way of letting me know that he doesn't want to cook.
Anonymous
Bunch of babies who can’t internalize a benign comment or request.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:In our house, whoever does the chore decides how it gets done. Our motto is, if you dont like how someone else does it, do it yourself. This does not apply to the kids, however. If we let them choose how to do things, they’d never get done.


This only works if both parties have similar standards/expectations. otherwise dinner would be Ramen noodles every single night and laundry would be done 1x a month all thrown into 2 loads until the washer bursts at the seems. There has to be a shared understanding what the bare minimum looks like. If you choose to do more great. But the minimum MUST be done. That includes not overloading machines and doing a poor job.
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