Advice needed to handle middle school mean girl

[Anonymous]

I think the idea of contacting the bully's parents is the best one, starting out by warning the child who is doing the bullying. Scars left by bullying can be long-lasting, as they are with me. I still have enormous problems with trust.

[Anonymous]

I think you should find out from a counselor what the school does if you tell them information.that way you and DD
can make an informed decision. Don't go behind your dd's back, then it could backfire on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the idea of contacting the bully's parents is the best one, starting out by warning the child who is doing the bullying. Scars left by bullying can be long-lasting, as they are with me. I still have enormous problems with trust.

The problem with this is that the bully is away from her parents during the school day. The school needs to know what is going on to monitor the situation to make sure it does not continue. Otherwise, involving the bully's parents might just make the situation worse for your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:32 and 20:45 here. Obviously, none of the previous posters actually looked at the website or its links.

The school is OBLIGATED BY LAW to respond to bullying when it involves a protected class member being bullied on the basis of race, religion, disability, etc. If they fail to respond appropriately, both the DOE and DOJ can get involved.

They are not the first step. However, it is not something that can be brushed under the rug, because public schools are accountable to higher legal authorities.

What if OPs daughter is not a protected class?

In this area the most popular girl in school coukd easily be a person of color or a protected group, and OPs daughter could be white.

Then the DOJ would not get involved.

Ah, so then the white victim isn't quite as much a victim as the "person of color or a protected group." Unreal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did I miss the part where this was about racism?

No, you didn't. OP said nothing at all about racism. But naturally, some unhinged poster decided to make it a race issue. Honestly, it's so tiresome and predictable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:32 and 20:45 here. Obviously, none of the previous posters actually looked at the website or its links.

The school is OBLIGATED BY LAW to respond to bullying when it involves a protected class member being bullied on the basis of race, religion, disability, etc. If they fail to respond appropriately, both the DOE and DOJ can get involved.

They are not the first step. However, it is not something that can be brushed under the rug, because public schools are accountable to higher legal authorities.

What if OPs daughter is not a protected class?

In this area the most popular girl in school coukd easily be a person of color or a protected group, and OPs daughter could be white.

Then the DOJ would not get involved.

Even if the bullying is racist in nature and the girl is in a minoroty group at her school?

For the love. You are clearly trying to derail the thread that OP was actually posting about to get to your point. Which I suspect is the deep unfairness of "reverse racism" or some other unicorn BS. Do it somewhere else.

To be fair - the PP was making a good point. Why was racism even introduced in this thread to begin with? OP said nothing about it; just some PPs with an agenda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:32 and 20:45 here. Obviously, none of the previous posters actually looked at the website or its links.

The school is OBLIGATED BY LAW to respond to bullying when it involves a protected class member being bullied on the basis of race, religion, disability, etc. If they fail to respond appropriately, both the DOE and DOJ can get involved.

They are not the first step. However, it is not something that can be brushed under the rug, because public schools are accountable to higher legal authorities.

What if OPs daughter is not a protected class?

In this area the most popular girl in school coukd easily be a person of color or a protected group, and OPs daughter could be white.

Then the DOJ would not get involved.

Even if the bullying is racist in nature and the girl is in a minoroty group at her school?

For the love. You are clearly trying to derail the thread that OP was actually posting about to get to your point. Which I suspect is the deep unfairness of "reverse racism" or some other unicorn BS. Do it somewhere else.

To be fair - the PP was making a good point. Why was racism even introduced in this thread to begin with? OP said nothing about it; just some PPs with an agenda.

OP said: I am shocked as to how low some girls can go in order to hurt other girls, comments on race, looks and worse.

I think some people took that to mean that that the mean girl made "comments on race, looks and worse" to OP's daughter.

[Anonymous]

This is OPs original post.

The bolded part shows she clearly said her daughter is being bullied about her race. OP did not me tion the races involved.

Several posters jumped in that she shoukd get the DOJ involved because the bully is mentioning OPs daughter's race.

I am the poster who asked what if she is white and the bully is another race. It is a valid question to ask. If a child is being bullied for her race, it should not matter what color the bully or the victim are, and who is a protected class.

Anonymous wrote:My dd is in 8th grade and another girl (very very popular) has sent her some really mean and nasty messages.
I am shocked as to how low some girls can go in order to hurt other girls, comments on race, looks and worse.

I have advised my dd to block her so she does not send her any such messages in the future, but such behavior is scary. I have also advised my DD to complain to the school counselor, but she does not wanna do it..

Please advise me DCUM! its really heartbreaking to see 14 year old girls do such things

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did I miss the part where this was about racism?

No, you didn't. OP said nothing at all about racism. But naturally, some unhinged poster decided to make it a race issue. Honestly, it's so tiresome and predictable.

OP said comments are being made about her daugbter's race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OPs original post.

The bolded part shows she clearly said her daughter is being bullied about her race. OP did not me tion the races involved.

Several posters jumped in that she shoukd get the DOJ involved because the bully is mentioning OPs daughter's race.

I am the poster who asked what if she is white and the bully is another race. It is a valid question to ask. If a child is being bullied for her race, it should not matter what color the bully or the victim are, and who is a protected class.

Anonymous wrote:My dd is in 8th grade and another girl (very very popular) has sent her some really mean and nasty messages.
I am shocked as to how low some girls can go in order to hurt other girls, comments on race, looks and worse.

I have advised my dd to block her so she does not send her any such messages in the future, but such behavior is scary. I have also advised my DD to complain to the school counselor, but she does not wanna do it..

Please advise me DCUM! its really heartbreaking to see 14 year old girls do such things

PP, get over yourself.

No one said that a white child deserves less protection than a child of color. However, historically, white children have not needed specific, race-based protection bcause their white parents had a hell of a lot more political and institutional power.

OP never said the race of her child, but it's less likely that it's a child of color making fun of a white girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think these girls should be forced to read what they write in front of the whole school.

Why do you think the whole school should be forced to listen to this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:32 here. OP! Please check out this website: https://www.stopbullying.gov/laws/index.html

At the bottom of the page are links to when bullying may overlap with harassment of a protected class.

The Department of Education and the DOJ both can get involved.

Start wtih the school counselor before you call in the DOJ!

Right! Jesus Christ. No need to be a complete drama queen about the situation.

Scared the shit out of you, huh? white privilege much?

It's amazing that you assume the mean girl is white and the target is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OPs original post.

The bolded part shows she clearly said her daughter is being bullied about her race. OP did not me tion the races involved.

Several posters jumped in that she shoukd get the DOJ involved because the bully is mentioning OPs daughter's race.

I am the poster who asked what if she is white and the bully is another race. It is a valid question to ask. If a child is being bullied for her race, it should not matter what color the bully or the victim are, and who is a protected class.

Anonymous wrote:My dd is in 8th grade and another girl (very very popular) has sent her some really mean and nasty messages.
I am shocked as to how low some girls can go in order to hurt other girls, comments on race, looks and worse.

I have advised my dd to block her so she does not send her any such messages in the future, but such behavior is scary. I have also advised my DD to complain to the school counselor, but she does not wanna do it..

Please advise me DCUM! its really heartbreaking to see 14 year old girls do such things

PP, get over yourself.

No one said that a white child deserves less protection than a child of color. However, historically, white children have not needed specific, race-based protection bcause their white parents had a hell of a lot more political and institutional power.

OP never said the race of her child, but it's less likely that it's a child of color making fun of a white girl.

This is an untrue statement.

To say that you are working from the assumption that the popular girls in school must be white. That is not the case at my kid's high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OPs original post.

The bolded part shows she clearly said her daughter is being bullied about her race. OP did not me tion the races involved.

Several posters jumped in that she shoukd get the DOJ involved because the bully is mentioning OPs daughter's race.

I am the poster who asked what if she is white and the bully is another race. It is a valid question to ask. If a child is being bullied for her race, it should not matter what color the bully or the victim are, and who is a protected class.

Anonymous wrote:My dd is in 8th grade and another girl (very very popular) has sent her some really mean and nasty messages.
I am shocked as to how low some girls can go in order to hurt other girls, comments on race, looks and worse.

I have advised my dd to block her so she does not send her any such messages in the future, but such behavior is scary. I have also advised my DD to complain to the school counselor, but she does not wanna do it..

Please advise me DCUM! its really heartbreaking to see 14 year old girls do such things

PP, get over yourself.

No one said that a white child deserves less protection than a child of color. However, historically, white children have not needed specific, race-based protection bcause their white parents had a hell of a lot more political and institutional power.

OP never said the race of her child, but it's less likely that it's a child of color making fun of a white girl.

This is an untrue statement.

To say that you are working from the assumption that the popular girls in school must be white. That is not the case at my kid's high school.

No. You're making huge jumps in logic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OPs original post.

The bolded part shows she clearly said her daughter is being bullied about her race. OP did not me tion the races involved.

Several posters jumped in that she shoukd get the DOJ involved because the bully is mentioning OPs daughter's race.

I am the poster who asked what if she is white and the bully is another race. It is a valid question to ask. If a child is being bullied for her race, it should not matter what color the bully or the victim are, and who is a protected class.

Anonymous wrote:My dd is in 8th grade and another girl (very very popular) has sent her some really mean and nasty messages.
I am shocked as to how low some girls can go in order to hurt other girls, comments on race, looks and worse.

I have advised my dd to block her so she does not send her any such messages in the future, but such behavior is scary. I have also advised my DD to complain to the school counselor, but she does not wanna do it..

Please advise me DCUM! its really heartbreaking to see 14 year old girls do such things

PP, get over yourself.

No one said that a white child deserves less protection than a child of color. However, historically, white children have not needed specific, race-based protection bcause their white parents had a hell of a lot more political and institutional power.

OP never said the race of her child, but it's less likely that it's a child of color making fun of a white girl.

Oh please. A mean girl can be any race. My immigrant friend black daughter was mercifully teased and bullied by a group of AA's how would you handle that? Stop being so predictable. My newly arrived Eastern European friend's daughter was ostracized by white girls because of her looks too, how would you handle that? When my DS was bullied by kids and parents of same race for being to foreign in behavior, and after trying to make concession for two years, we got our finances in order and set about suing the shit out of them and the school. But before during that, I approached a 'neutral' acquaintance of the perpetrators during a school social activity and casually mentioned that we were now looking into legal representation and if they knew anything about the states bulling law. We were going to be more trouble than they bargain for, without involving the tax payers $$. Low character people comes in all shades.

Signed, a black person