Anyone quit job when kid(s) entering middle school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I did this - I tried working for a while but wow - it's so much easier with me at home. So much smoother - highly recommend. I don't have to worry about shopping, cooking, cleaning, having enough time to exercise, or kids sports or homework. I can take care of it ALL and when dh gets home, it's pure family time. Amazing. We are all relaxed and and can enjoy each other - and weekends too! Awesome.

THIS. I can't overstate the impact on quality of life having a SAHP has made in our family. It's like night and day - everything PP said is true. Every member of the family is more relaxed and happy.

Op here. So this is how I imagine it (or hope). I am still thinking. If I decide to do this it will be next year, before summer starts. There has been a lot of perspective on this thread, a lot to think through. I think I need to come up with a plan to keep my network warm, or perhaps even consult a small amount, if I do this.

I don't mind losing some of my income going back to work after. We are in good shape for a comfortable retirement, and are still plugging at 529s with 2 1/2 years covered for each, and if we continue as planned, all 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I stayed home with my kids when they were younger, which was wonderful and I feel very grateful to have done so. However, I also see the benefit of having a parent at home during middle and high school - and it sounds like you do too. I went back to work PT when my youngest started middle school, but my husband and I make sure one (often both) of us is home when the kids leave in the morning and come home from school in the afternoon. There is just no substitute for a parent's presence. Good luck!

Op here- thanks for sharing this. How was your re-entry into work, if you don't mind sharing? How long did it take to find a job, were you happy with how it turned out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I stayed home with my kids when they were younger, which was wonderful and I feel very grateful to have done so. However, I also see the benefit of having a parent at home during middle and high school - and it sounds like you do too. I went back to work PT when my youngest started middle school, but my husband and I make sure one (often both) of us is home when the kids leave in the morning and come home from school in the afternoon. There is just no substitute for a parent's presence. Good luck!

Op here- thanks for sharing this. How was your re-entry into work, if you don't mind sharing? How long did it take to find a job, were you happy with how it turned out?

Not the PP but I found a job right away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I stayed home with my kids when they were younger, which was wonderful and I feel very grateful to have done so. However, I also see the benefit of having a parent at home during middle and high school - and it sounds like you do too. I went back to work PT when my youngest started middle school, but my husband and I make sure one (often both) of us is home when the kids leave in the morning and come home from school in the afternoon. There is just no substitute for a parent's presence. Good luck!

Op here- thanks for sharing this. How was your re-entry into work, if you don't mind sharing? How long did it take to find a job, were you happy with how it turned out?

Not the PP but I found a job right away.

Op here - thanks- was it through contacts or just applying? Of course, you don't have to answer!

[Anonymous]

I work from home full time and it is the best possible situation for my family. I have and will continue to turn down promotions and other job opportunities that would be good for my career so that I can be at home in the mornings in the afternoon. OP - I think you were on the right track and if you can swing it, it would be totally worthwhile to look for part time, I telecommute or other option so you can be at home.

PP who said middle school is when they need you less, I would strongly encourage you to spend some more time researching that age range. This pre-adolescence is the time when I needed you most.

[Anonymous]

I would never quit a job especially one that paid that much. I am biased though because my mom became a SAHM and then my dad left. It took a lot of financial and childcare help from her parents for many years before we weren't struggling anymore.

[Anonymous]

I am thinking about quitting (MS and high school aged kids) so considered this question strictly on a money basis. At your salary and assuming no benefits you probably keep $60-$70,000 after taxes. If you work FT that's probably 1800 hours per year making take home hourly rate around $38-$42. For $20/hr. I have a part time household employee who does all errands, lunches and straight forward dinners, straightens up, laundry and most if the stuff I would do during the day; she works 30 hrs./week. That help is not the same as me being home after school for the kids, but the household stuff is done

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I telework 3 days a week with a MS kid and a HS kid. DH teleworks the days I don't. I start early, and am usually done by 4 (MS DD gets home at 2:45). When she stays after school two days a week, it is 3-4 minutes away, so she can text when she is done and I pick up one day, and my carpool buddy picks up the second day when I am not home. I can also take her to early evening activities two days a week, and DH does the carpool on the third.

My HS kid is at TJ and at least 45 minutes away, so I am done by the time his bus is at the depot. I arrange a lot of carpools with other moms, especially for the TJ kid (and TJ is near my office, so I can be the one to do carpool pickup for extracurriculars the two days I go in, and other members of the carpool get other fpdays.

DH is in the house and can sneak out for pickups the days I am not there.

It is pretty close to a perfect setup. DD gets home and comes into my office and talks to me for a few minutes about her day, and what needs to be done for homework. She is very self disciplined, makes a snack and does he homework. I'm finishing up work about the time she is done with her homework, and many nights we head out to a music lesson or her team activity between 5-6. She's 13, and used to do homework in my home office while I worked. But now wants her own space in her room, at her desk. Even if i wasn't teleworking, she would not be hanging with me.

But, there is nearly always a parent in the house after school, which is important to me.

That said-- golden handcuffs. Right now, I am not applying for lateral jobs or promotions with less telework time. I feel like I should stay where I am for 2 years, until DS is an experienced driver I can trust to pick up his sister, and DD is through her freshman year of high school.

That sounds like a great set up!

It is. The downside is that I am not pursuing promotional opportunities, because I would have less flexibility in terms of work hours and probably fewer telework days. I tell myself, and believe, that the time I have left with my kids is brief, and it is more important to parent them than get ahead at work. Also, I had kids young, si I'm in my early 40s, and have about 20 years until I retire. And, I'm a Fed, so this makes it more doable.

But PP is right-- with kids in 8th and 10th, we need my salary less to pay the mortgage and it food, and more because we are putting almost $3000 a month(more than half my take home pay) in 529s. We are doing VA prepaid for each kid, plus saving enough for R&B for one year for each kid-- since they will overlap by 2 years. That way, we are only paying R&B for one kid for each year they are in college. We are also trying to save a second year of R&B for D.C. 1, so the money is there to pay the first year up front.

I will say, and I am not incredibly proud of this, that I had significant health problems when the kids were younger, and did not work for several years. Money was tight, so we did not start college funds until middle school. So we are playing catchup now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work from home full time and it is the best possible situation for my family. I have and will continue to turn down promotions and other job opportunities that would be good for my career so that I can be at home in the mornings in the afternoon. OP - I think you were on the right track and if you can swing it, it would be totally worthwhile to look for part time, I telecommute or other option so you can be at home.

PP who said middle school is when they need you less, I would strongly encourage you to spend some more time researching that age range. This pre-adolescence is the time when I needed you most.

Thanks for sharing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never quit a job especially one that paid that much. I am biased though because my mom became a SAHM and then my dad left. It took a lot of financial and childcare help from her parents for many years before we weren't struggling anymore.

Op here- yes, this a serious consideration. I was raised to always plan to support myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am thinking about quitting (MS and high school aged kids) so considered this question strictly on a money basis. At your salary and assuming no benefits you probably keep $60-$70,000 after taxes. If you work FT that's probably 1800 hours per year making take home hourly rate around $38-$42. For $20/hr. I have a part time household employee who does all errands, lunches and straight forward dinners, straightens up, laundry and most if the stuff I would do during the day; she works 30 hrs./week. That help is not the same as me being home after school for the kids, but the household stuff is done

Thanks for sharing the cost of your employee. That's helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I telework 3 days a week with a MS kid and a HS kid. DH teleworks the days I don't. I start early, and am usually done by 4 (MS DD gets home at 2:45). When she stays after school two days a week, it is 3-4 minutes away, so she can text when she is done and I pick up one day, and my carpool buddy picks up the second day when I am not home. I can also take her to early evening activities two days a week, and DH does the carpool on the third.

My HS kid is at TJ and at least 45 minutes away, so I am done by the time his bus is at the depot. I arrange a lot of carpools with other moms, especially for the TJ kid (and TJ is near my office, so I can be the one to do carpool pickup for extracurriculars the two days I go in, and other members of the carpool get other fpdays.

DH is in the house and can sneak out for pickups the days I am not there.

It is pretty close to a perfect setup. DD gets home and comes into my office and talks to me for a few minutes about her day, and what needs to be done for homework. She is very self disciplined, makes a snack and does he homework. I'm finishing up work about the time she is done with her homework, and many nights we head out to a music lesson or her team activity between 5-6. She's 13, and used to do homework in my home office while I worked. But now wants her own space in her room, at her desk. Even if i wasn't teleworking, she would not be hanging with me.

But, there is nearly always a parent in the house after school, which is important to me.

That said-- golden handcuffs. Right now, I am not applying for lateral jobs or promotions with less telework time. I feel like I should stay where I am for 2 years, until DS is an experienced driver I can trust to pick up his sister, and DD is through her freshman year of high school.

That sounds like a great set up!

It is. The downside is that I am not pursuing promotional opportunities, because I would have less flexibility in terms of work hours and probably fewer telework days. I tell myself, and believe, that the time I have left with my kids is brief, and it is more important to parent them than get ahead at work. Also, I had kids young, si I'm in my early 40s, and have about 20 years until I retire. And, I'm a Fed, so this makes it more doable.

But PP is right-- with kids in 8th and 10th, we need my salary less to pay the mortgage and it food, and more because we are putting almost $3000 a month(more than half my take home pay) in 529s. We are doing VA prepaid for each kid, plus saving enough for R&B for one year for each kid-- since they will overlap by 2 years. That way, we are only paying R&B for one kid for each year they are in college. We are also trying to save a second year of R&B for D.C. 1, so the money is there to pay the first year up front.

I will say, and I am not incredibly proud of this, that I had significant health problems when the kids were younger, and did not work for several years. Money was tight, so we did not start college funds until middle school. So we are playing catchup now.

We have a very similar arrangement with DH and I both doing some telework so there is usually a parent home in the afternoon about 4x a week. We could live comfortably on DH's salary, and did when the kids were babies/preschoolers, but now my salary mainly goes to accelerating retirement and college savings. I could make more if I moved to a different firm (I'm at an in-house position and consulting firm jobs pay significantly more) but that would come with longer hours, less flexibility, and regular travel. So, I'm happy with $125K and completely flexible, very low travel job. I'm very happy with the balance we have and that we're now in a good financial position for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I stayed home with my kids when they were younger, which was wonderful and I feel very grateful to have done so. However, I also see the benefit of having a parent at home during middle and high school - and it sounds like you do too. I went back to work PT when my youngest started middle school, but my husband and I make sure one (often both) of us is home when the kids leave in the morning and come home from school in the afternoon. There is just no substitute for a parent's presence. Good luck!

Op here- thanks for sharing this. How was your re-entry into work, if you don't mind sharing? How long did it take to find a job, were you happy with how it turned out?

PP here. I was out of the workforce for 13 years, so I was pretty realistic about what my career options would be when I returned. However, it wasn't nearly as bad as people (here on DCUM, anyway) like to make it out. I started my job search about nine months before I knew I'd want to be employed. It took about six months, and several interviews, to find a job similar to what I used to do pre-kids. A couple of places offered positions to me prior to that, but they were FT and I wanted to hold out for PT. I started at a lower salary, which I fully expected, but after a couple of years there, I'm back up to what I used to make. I'm really happy with the way everything worked out, and I hope you're able to make it all work for you too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you go part time?

This is a better idea. I cut back to 32 and still average less than 40 in hs since I take my bonus in leave.

[Anonymous]

Well I hesitate to say this because I know it will feed the crazy but I know a few people who quit their jobs in order to manage the college application process (my sister, for one, did this). Starting in 9th grade.