Anyone quit job when kid(s) entering middle school?

[Anonymous]

I was a SAH for my two middle schoolers and I never was bored or lonely. There is always something to do. Also, I was so glad to have the time bc my DC was getting braces and I tell you we literally lived at the ortho those two years. The middle years for me have been the most challenging and I was glad I was available for the transition. So many times they forgot something or had an appointment. I'm not the type of parent who just says "work it out" and "tough sh*t".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHM with kids in elementary.

Here are the challenges you will face:

If you don't have a lot of SAH friends it will be lonely during the day.
Unless you have hobbies you may find yourself totally aimless ~ most moms who have middle school kids have been home for years and already have an established social/volunteer/maybe PT work/etc routine well worked out at this point, you will just be creating yours.
Are you going to be okay with "changing things" spending wise at the exact moment where you will have a lot of time to spend (the benefits of being home include frequent vacations, being able to do home projects easily, meet friends for lunch, take classes, join fancy gyms, shop during the day etc)?
If you know you have to go back anyway, but for even less money, why not power through and retire 3 years earlier? Your child will leave the house around 7 am and not be home till late afternoon.....you won't really be picking up that much time with them now, versus when they were small.

Here are the benefits:
More time
More peace
More flexibility
More time for self development
More time for therapies for your child

Thanks for this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a SAH for my two middle schoolers and I never was bored or lonely. There is always something to do. Also, I was so glad to have the time bc my DC was getting braces and I tell you we literally lived at the ortho those two years. The middle years for me have been the most challenging and I was glad I was available for the transition. So many times they forgot something or had an appointment. I'm not the type of parent who just says "work it out" and "tough sh*t".

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I left my job when my oldest was about to start middle school. My DD needed me more at that age (to talk to, review homework, etc.). My job had become more stressful with longer hours so I decided to leave. Our home life immediately became more harmonious. An opportunity came up a year later and I went back - huge regrets. I wish I'd negotiated part-time. Younger child was about to start middle school when I went back and it was a rough time. Both are in HS now and rarely get home before I do. We all enjoy the financial benefits of 2 incomes (school trips, summer activities, vacations, private school). If I had a "do over" I would've stayed home till both were in HS. While SAH I would plan for a 2nd career (by getting certifications, taking online classes) in the event I couldn't get back into my field.

[Anonymous]

I guess it really depends on your kids. I have two in middle school (one with braces) and it hasn't really been all that stressful or time-consuming. They gain a lot of independence in MS, so my kids are home by 3:00, take a break, then start homework by 5. If they have homework issues, I'm there to help them in the evening. I have a younger child in elementary who probably "needs" me more than the older kids do.

One thing to consider: re-entry into the workforce can be challenging, so be sure to keep up with your network - or consider part-time.

While I love my job, I sometimes dream if quitting - if only because I want time to exercise! Lol!

[Anonymous]

I did. Retired from the miltary at 20 years. Kept my hand in by volunteering every week. Kept all certifications and licensing up to date. Worked p/t while they were in high school. Now work more than part time. Best thing I ever did. Kept a close eye on kids, was very involved with them and had a break. I highly recommend it. Let us know what you do!

[Anonymous]

The transition to middle school is huge for most kids. There's a big increase in expectations for organization and independence, and in FCPS they start getting letter grades. Also, they are in school with kids from other elementary schools and have a wider social circle. It's very important to stay informed about who their friends are and how they spend their time. Unsupervised time after school is when a lot of kids experiment and get involved in social media. I think taking time off during the middle school years is a great idea if you can manage it.

[Anonymous]

I've heard of parents devoting themselves full-time to the college application process in high school, but MIDDLE SCHOOL? How strange - and I have a special needs kid who needs more parental accompaniment than average kids.

In my mind, middle school is the sweet spot where the kids need you LESS.

[Anonymous]

PP again - just to clarify, my SN kid is now is 7th grade.

If you're doing this for yourself, by all means do what you want to do!

But if you're doing it for the kids, it's a bad idea. Volunteering opportunities are much sparser than at the elementary school level, the kids initiate socializations so you don't get to befriend other parents like during the primary years, etc...

Could you perhaps go part-time to get a feel for things?

[Anonymous]

I telework 3 days a week with a MS kid and a HS kid. DH teleworks the days I don't. I start early, and am usually done by 4 (MS DD gets home at 2:45). When she stays after school two days a week, it is 3-4 minutes away, so she can text when she is done and I pick up one day, and my carpool buddy picks up the second day when I am not home. I can also take her to early evening activities two days a week, and DH does the carpool on the third.

My HS kid is at TJ and at least 45 minutes away, so I am done by the time his bus is at the depot. I arrange a lot of carpools with other moms, especially for the TJ kid (and TJ is near my office, so I can be the one to do carpool pickup for extracurriculars the two days I go in, and other members of the carpool get other fpdays.

DH is in the house and can sneak out for pickups the days I am not there.

It is pretty close to a perfect setup. DD gets home and comes into my office and talks to me for a few minutes about her day, and what needs to be done for homework. She is very self disciplined, makes a snack and does he homework. I'm finishing up work about the time she is done with her homework, and many nights we head out to a music lesson or her team activity between 5-6. She's 13, and used to do homework in my home office while I worked. But now wants her own space in her room, at her desk. Even if i wasn't teleworking, she would not be hanging with me.

But, there is nearly always a parent in the house after school, which is important to me.

That said-- golden handcuffs. Right now, I am not applying for lateral jobs or promotions with less telework time. I feel like I should stay where I am for 2 years, until DS is an experienced driver I can trust to pick up his sister, and DD is through her freshman year of high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I left my job when my oldest was about to start middle school. My DD needed me more at that age (to talk to, review homework, etc.). My job had become more stressful with longer hours so I decided to leave. Our home life immediately became more harmonious. An opportunity came up a year later and I went back - huge regrets. I wish I'd negotiated part-time. Younger child was about to start middle school when I went back and it was a rough time. Both are in HS now and rarely get home before I do. We all enjoy the financial benefits of 2 incomes (school trips, summer activities, vacations, private school). If I had a "do over" I would've stayed home till both were in HS. While SAH I would plan for a 2nd career (by getting certifications, taking online classes) in the event I couldn't get back into my field.

Thanks for sharing your experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess it really depends on your kids. I have two in middle school (one with braces) and it hasn't really been all that stressful or time-consuming. They gain a lot of independence in MS, so my kids are home by 3:00, take a break, then start homework by 5. If they have homework issues, I'm there to help them in the evening. I have a younger child in elementary who probably "needs" me more than the older kids do.

One thing to consider: re-entry into the workforce can be challenging, so be sure to keep up with your network - or consider part-time.

While I love my job, I sometimes dream if quitting - if only because I want time to exercise! Lol!

OP here. Yeah. I guess I see that my kid will probably need it. I could be wrong. He's struggling now and I'm so tired myself at the end of the work day, I feel I'm not there for him the way, or as much as he needs right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did. Retired from the miltary at 20 years. Kept my hand in by volunteering every week. Kept all certifications and licensing up to date. Worked p/t while they were in high school. Now work more than part time. Best thing I ever did. Kept a close eye on kids, was very involved with them and had a break. I highly recommend it. Let us know what you do!

Thank you for sharing your experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The transition to middle school is huge for most kids. There's a big increase in expectations for organization and independence, and in FCPS they start getting letter grades. Also, they are in school with kids from other elementary schools and have a wider social circle. It's very important to stay informed about who their friends are and how they spend their time. Unsupervised time after school is when a lot of kids experiment and get involved in social media. I think taking time off during the middle school years is a great idea if you can manage it.

Thanks- did you do it? Or are you thinking of doing it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've heard of parents devoting themselves full-time to the college application process in high school, but MIDDLE SCHOOL? How strange - and I have a special needs kid who needs more parental accompaniment than average kids.

In my mind, middle school is the sweet spot where the kids need you LESS.

Well, i understand, maybe that's most kids? we are at 6th now and I'm not seeing him needing me less. It's been more and more each year.