Anyone quit job when kid(s) entering middle school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I telework 3 days a week with a MS kid and a HS kid. DH teleworks the days I don't. I start early, and am usually done by 4 (MS DD gets home at 2:45). When she stays after school two days a week, it is 3-4 minutes away, so she can text when she is done and I pick up one day, and my carpool buddy picks up the second day when I am not home. I can also take her to early evening activities two days a week, and DH does the carpool on the third.

My HS kid is at TJ and at least 45 minutes away, so I am done by the time his bus is at the depot. I arrange a lot of carpools with other moms, especially for the TJ kid (and TJ is near my office, so I can be the one to do carpool pickup for extracurriculars the two days I go in, and other members of the carpool get other fpdays.

DH is in the house and can sneak out for pickups the days I am not there.

It is pretty close to a perfect setup. DD gets home and comes into my office and talks to me for a few minutes about her day, and what needs to be done for homework. She is very self disciplined, makes a snack and does he homework. I'm finishing up work about the time she is done with her homework, and many nights we head out to a music lesson or her team activity between 5-6. She's 13, and used to do homework in my home office while I worked. But now wants her own space in her room, at her desk. Even if i wasn't teleworking, she would not be hanging with me.

But, there is nearly always a parent in the house after school, which is important to me.

That said-- golden handcuffs. Right now, I am not applying for lateral jobs or promotions with less telework time. I feel like I should stay where I am for 2 years, until DS is an experienced driver I can trust to pick up his sister, and DD is through her freshman year of high school.

That sounds like a great set up!

[Anonymous]

Yes I did this - I tried working for a while but wow - it's so much easier with me at home. So much smoother - highly recommend. I don't have to worry about shopping, cooking, cleaning, having enough time to exercise, or kids sports or homework. I can take care of it ALL and when dh gets home, it's pure family time. Amazing. We are all relaxed and and can enjoy each other - and weekends too! Awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can see someone doing this when they first have babies...don't really see the need for a transition into middle school. The kids will be in school for most of the day anyways. You’ll have a harder time getting back into the workforce

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I could try to go part time, but am wondering if I'll end up even more tired. I'll end up taking on all the load with the kids, and it would still be go-go-go, if I work 9-3, say.

My oldest, who will be starting middle school next year, has ADHD and anxiety, and 6th grade is already rough (they move through 3 teachers, in prep for middle school).

I'm seeing this as a way to help him practice executive functioning skills without rushing, seeing a coach and tutors that are less expensive (i.e., not after 6pm), and being there in the mornings for my younger one,too. Benefit of creating a less hectic home life, generally, as well.

I could do part time taking a day off, but that doesn't actually help with being there for older kid as I'm trying to.

Lots to think about.

I stayed home with my kids when they were younger, which was wonderful and I feel very grateful to have done so. However, I also see the benefit of having a parent at home during middle and high school - and it sounds like you do too. I went back to work PT when my youngest started middle school, but my husband and I make sure one (often both) of us is home when the kids leave in the morning and come home from school in the afternoon. There is just no substitute for a parent's presence. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a SAH for my two middle schoolers and I never was bored or lonely. There is always something to do. Also, I was so glad to have the time bc my DC was getting braces and I tell you we literally lived at the ortho those two years. The middle years for me have been the most challenging and I was glad I was available for the transition. So many times they forgot something or had an appointment. I'm not the type of parent who just says "work it out" and "tough sh*t".

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I did this - I tried working for a while but wow - it's so much easier with me at home. So much smoother - highly recommend. I don't have to worry about shopping, cooking, cleaning, having enough time to exercise, or kids sports or homework. I can take care of it ALL and when dh gets home, it's pure family time. Amazing. We are all relaxed and and can enjoy each other - and weekends too! Awesome.

THIS. I can't overstate the impact on quality of life having a SAHP has made in our family. It's like night and day - everything PP said is true. Every member of the family is more relaxed and happy.

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to say that I'm loving this thread. No bashing of others' choices and very supportive. I wish every thread could be like this.

[Anonymous]

In my situation, cant imagine the point. DH works from home nearly 100% of the time. DS gets off the bus at 345 and somrtimes is in a club and home at 445. I pull into the driveway NLT 5pm. Hes a great student, we have a daily checklists he has to go through, and All of his assignments, due dates, test dates, and assignments are on Google classroom. He can and has called me and asked me to look at something on google classroom he doesn't understand and i clear it up for him in 5min.

I find the logistics and just about everything so easy now. Its grest! Hes independent, has a nice set of low key friends, is busy with sports, and is handling being in all honors classes really well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I could try to go part time, but am wondering if I'll end up even more tired. I'll end up taking on all the load with the kids, and it would still be go-go-go, if I work 9-3, say.

My oldest, who will be starting middle school next year, has ADHD and anxiety, and 6th grade is already rough (they move through 3 teachers, in prep for middle school).

I'm seeing this as a way to help him practice executive functioning skills without rushing, seeing a coach and tutors that are less expensive (i.e., not after 6pm), and being there in the mornings for my younger one,too. Benefit of creating a less hectic home life, generally, as well.

I could do part time taking a day off, but that doesn't actually help with being there for older kid as I'm trying to.

Lots to think about.

It sounds like you need a more flexible job, not quitting all together.

Is it really worth quitting and forgoing your 100K salary simply bc you want to spend a leisurely morning ushering them out to school in the AM? Or simply bc you don't want to feel rushed for the last 4 hours of the day?
That's a pretty lopsided tradeoff.

And what exactly would you do from 8 to 3 while they're in school??

College years are up ahead when you have middle schoolers...now is not the time to give up your 100K salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I did this - I tried working for a while but wow - it's so much easier with me at home. So much smoother - highly recommend. I don't have to worry about shopping, cooking, cleaning, having enough time to exercise, or kids sports or homework. I can take care of it ALL and when dh gets home, it's pure family time. Amazing. We are all relaxed and and can enjoy each other - and weekends too! Awesome.

It would be nice to have your set-up. In our case, my DH and I both work full-time, albeit in flexible jobs. One thing that makes it less stressful is that we still have someone (a babysitter/house manager) who arrives at 1 pm each day to do grocery shopping and meal prep. After school she drives the kids to sports, etc. We have someone who cleans once per week. I salute you if you were juggling all of that while also working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I did this - I tried working for a while but wow - it's so much easier with me at home. So much smoother - highly recommend. I don't have to worry about shopping, cooking, cleaning, having enough time to exercise, or kids sports or homework. I can take care of it ALL and when dh gets home, it's pure family time. Amazing. We are all relaxed and and can enjoy each other - and weekends too! Awesome.

It would be nice to have your set-up. In our case, my DH and I both work full-time, albeit in flexible jobs. One thing that makes it less stressful is that we still have someone (a babysitter/house manager) who arrives at 1 pm each day to do grocery shopping and meal prep. After school she drives the kids to sports, etc. We have someone who cleans once per week. I salute you if you were juggling all of that while also working.

Op here. Thanks for your perspectiv. How much was the cost per week for the 1pm sitter/meal prep/house manager?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It sounds like you need a more flexible job, not quitting all together.

Is it really worth quitting and forgoing your 100K salary simply bc you want to spend a leisurely morning ushering them out to school in the AM? Or simply bc you don't want to feel rushed for the last 4 hours of the day?
That's a pretty lopsided tradeoff.

And what exactly would you do from 8 to 3 while they're in school??

College years are up ahead when you have middle schoolers...now is not the time to give up your 100K salary.

OP here- thanks for this. I guess it's about not being exhausted and actually BEING with my kids when they talk in the evenings. Having the time to sit and listen, taking time quizzing them and helping them through work - my son needs a ton of reputation due to working memory, and having that time when they are home. We are not a activity rich family- they each have one going on, so they would be home most days after the bell. Unless that changes in middle, of course. I can take that 6 hours with them, instead of 4, and it can be - maybe I'm glorifying this- calm instead of cleaning, lunch prepping- all the things I could do during the day.

I could also find something very part time, consulting, I think. And I'm not giving it up forever. Well, my thought is one - 3 years (clearly still thinking about it). Then go back.

I know lots of parents work full time, and do it all just fine, too. I get this. And you are probably right if I had a flexible job things might seem better. Another option is taking the summer of and getting a lot done in prep for middle school for him, and doing the 9-3 gig at another place. I do have many contact I could start checking on whether that would work. It won't in my current job, and I am not able to telework unless by exception (need based due to work being done on house, etc.)

[Anonymous]

"Repetition" is what my son needs, not reputation. autocorrect!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my situation, cant imagine the point. DH works from home nearly 100% of the time. DS gets off the bus at 345 and somrtimes is in a club and home at 445. I pull into the driveway NLT 5pm. Hes a great student, we have a daily checklists he has to go through, and All of his assignments, due dates, test dates, and assignments are on Google classroom. He can and has called me and asked me to look at something on google classroom he doesn't understand and i clear it up for him in 5min.

I find the logistics and just about everything so easy now. Its grest! Hes independent, has a nice set of low key friends, is busy with sports, and is handling being in all honors classes really well.

Op here- that sounds wonderful!

What are the daily checklists? Are those from the school? Or is that something you created? What types of things are on them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I did this - I tried working for a while but wow - it's so much easier with me at home. So much smoother - highly recommend. I don't have to worry about shopping, cooking, cleaning, having enough time to exercise, or kids sports or homework. I can take care of it ALL and when dh gets home, it's pure family time. Amazing. We are all relaxed and and can enjoy each other - and weekends too! Awesome.

Op here- thanks for sharing.