Where are people so jealous of gifted kids?

[Anonymous]

This thread is comedy gold. OP, people aren't jealous of you, they're annoyed by you. Stop bragging about your kid.

[Anonymous]

NP here.
My kids are everything to me. I can't talk about work, because Washington, DC, you can't really ever talk about work, but now I can't talk about my kids? When my amazing kid does something amazing, I can't tell everyone, excitedly? I have to call my mom, I can't just tell another parent I'm drinking wine with because that would be bragging? When my gifted kid hits a milestone freakishly early and I'm the only one there, again, I have to call my mom if I want to tell anyone or I'll be a bad friend? Fuck! It becomes so lonely to be nice to others, doesn't it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here.
My kids are everything to me. I can't talk about work, because Washington, DC, you can't really ever talk about work, but now I can't talk about my kids? When my amazing kid does something amazing, I can't tell everyone, excitedly? I have to call my mom, I can't just tell another parent I'm drinking wine with because that would be bragging? When my gifted kid hits a milestone freakishly early and I'm the only one there, again, I have to call my mom if I want to tell anyone or I'll be a bad friend? Fuck! It becomes so lonely to be nice to others, doesn't it!

You want to brag. Bragging is never attractive except to grandparents. Yes, call your mom. Non-parents aren't interested and parents will feel awkward because their kid is not as advanced. At least with your mom you'll both enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here.
My kids are everything to me. I can't talk about work, because Washington, DC, you can't really ever talk about work, but now I can't talk about my kids? When my amazing kid does something amazing, I can't tell everyone, excitedly? I have to call my mom, I can't just tell another parent I'm drinking wine with because that would be bragging? When my gifted kid hits a milestone freakishly early and I'm the only one there, again, I have to call my mom if I want to tell anyone or I'll be a bad friend? Fuck! It becomes so lonely to be nice to others, doesn't it!

You should be proud of things that required effort to achieve, not of things that you or others were born with. It's like praising someone's intelligence versus praising someone's hard work.
So while you can be relieved that your child has no disabilities or challenges, boasting about precociousness is not graceful at all. Come back when she practices her violin for an hour every day and is chosen to be concertmaster of a prestigious youth orchestra, or something else that requires not only talent, but dedication and commitment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here.
My kids are everything to me. I can't talk about work, because Washington, DC, you can't really ever talk about work, but now I can't talk about my kids? When my amazing kid does something amazing, I can't tell everyone, excitedly? I have to call my mom, I can't just tell another parent I'm drinking wine with because that would be bragging? When my gifted kid hits a milestone freakishly early and I'm the only one there, again, I have to call my mom if I want to tell anyone or I'll be a bad friend? Fuck! It becomes so lonely to be nice to others, doesn't it!

I am surprised you didn't know this already. You thought your coworkers/friends are truly impressed with your kids and happy to hear about how great they are?? OMG. How old are you? You know what they are thinking "STFU Suzy!!" but just won't say out loud.

[Anonymous]

Here are some things you can talk about other than how advanced your kid is:
-politics
-things you're reading
-current events
-vacations you've taken or are going to take
-friends you have in common
-what your extended family is up to
-other stuff about your kids
-what you're watching
-you CAN talk about your work, not sure who told you otherwise

When I talk about my kids it's funny, self deprecating talk. The kind of things other parents can relate to and commiserate about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While being gifted academically is impressive, I would also be equally impressed ( if not more ) with a child who was athletically gifted, or who was a talented actress, singer , dancer etc... so I wouldn't put so much emphasis on academics because it's just one type of "intelligence" Everyone has a strength, or something that they excel in. If you are finding that people seem jealous, perhaps it's your communication style that is rubbing people the wrong way?

Ok, but that is kind of OP's point. If she mentioned that her 6 year old was faster than the 6th graders on the swim team, people wouldn't say she was bragging; they'd be interested and duly impressed. But since she is discussing precocious reading skills, she is obnoxious and bragging? Why is that? Why is that particular type of intelligence so touchy for people? Because it absolutely is.

Nope, I'd still think she was bragging and obnoxious. But look, if your 6 year old actually can outswim a good 6th grade swimmer, then I would be impressed, just like I would be with a young kid who can do calculus. It's in the delivery, and hearing people brag about their kids being gifted is obnoxious, just as it would be if they bragged about another skill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 6 y/o DS can read and wright at the level of a 7th grader. Whenever I tell my friends or coworkers, some of them are impressed, but others have literally stated out that it's really not that special and that they, as adults, can write better than them. And I'm thinking to myself, "You're about 30 years older than my son. I would hope that you can read and write write better than him." It's like they don't even consider the fact that he's only 6 years old. I would expect an adult to read and write well above the level of my son, but a lot of people don't seem to acknowledge that for his age, it's impressive.

"Wright" love it lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While being gifted academically is impressive, I would also be equally impressed ( if not more ) with a child who was athletically gifted, or who was a talented actress, singer , dancer etc... so I wouldn't put so much emphasis on academics because it's just one type of "intelligence" Everyone has a strength, or something that they excel in. If you are finding that people seem jealous, perhaps it's your communication style that is rubbing people the wrong way?

Ok, but that is kind of OP's point. If she mentioned that her 6 year old was faster than the 6th graders on the swim team, people wouldn't say she was bragging; they'd be interested and duly impressed. But since she is discussing precocious reading skills, she is obnoxious and bragging? Why is that? Why is that particular type of intelligence so touchy for people? Because it absolutely is.

Wrong.

[Anonymous]

You are so impressed with her because she can read read and wright wright better than you you.

[Anonymous]

Middle school teacher here who also does the MG program - Being MG isn't as "special" as people think it is. In my experience a lot of MG kids are lazy. I regularly have gen ed kids out perform them.

I need to make a comment about reading levels. You kid might be able to read 7th grade text but most likely does not have comprehension. Remember comprehension requires a fair amoint of previous knowledge which I doubt your kid has. I often have seventh graders score post high school on the Gates assessment. They would have a diffiucult time with actual comprehension on that level. What it does tell me that they are advanced readers.

My advice to you is to teach your kid to have a work ethic. That matters more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My advice to you is to teach your kid to have a work ethic. That matters more.

I'm not the OP, and this is a tangent, but to teach a gifted kid work ethics, you need to give him meaningful school work at his level. We are getting in the way of that if we collectively bully the families to shut up about their gifted kids, and reflexively downplay any differences.

[Anonymous]

How insecure are you that you need people to "acknowledge" his "impressiveness?"

You sound awful and needy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My advice to you is to teach your kid to have a work ethic. That matters more.

I'm not the OP, and this is a tangent, but to teach a gifted kid work ethics, you need to give him meaningful school work at his level. We are getting in the way of that if we collectively bully the families to shut up about their gifted kids, and reflexively downplay any differences.

No one in suggesting that families dont talk about their gifted kids - just pick the right audience. Do talk about them to their teachers schools etc to get them the right academic level. Dont talk about it to coworkers who couldnt care less particularly if you are just looking for them to ooh and ah about how wonderful your chlld (and by associated you) are.

[Anonymous]

My DD is advanced (test scores to prove it) started reading at 4. I do not tell people this!!!! Especially people with similar aged children. I'm proud of her and I see her doing great things but I don't need to announce it to everyone though. If it's something special yes I'll share it will family but I'm not posting on Facebook she's reading Harry Potter at 6 and writing her own plays!!! I was a teacher and have seen kids of all levels! All children learn and grow at a different pace, I remember one child I taught was off the charts gifted but was considered "below" in kindergarten/first. But by the time I had him in 2nd grade it was clear to me he was gifted (the next year it was confirmed in 3rd grade). You never know! But I guarantee people aren't jealous they just think you are bragging.