Your BIL ( sister's husband) says something offensive towards you how do handle it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, are you the poster who posted recently about her BIL making fun of the fact that you're single and because of how you dress/look assumed you were a lesbian.

Yes that's me.

So did something new happen since your last post?

Not as bad as that. Just general insisting on having family time, but then acting like I' being a huge jerk when I decline. As a pp mentioned I don't want to be the cause of splitting the family up, but I really can't handle being treated badly anymore. Trying to figure out away to balance everything.

You are not the cause of splitting your family up. Your BIL and sister are. NO MISPLACED GUILT! In situations like this, first communicate then save yourself. You are not a punching bag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again.

Finally got a response and it was " I had no idea you were so upset. We should be able to communicate like adults. I didn't think you'd get so upset over 'not dating" , and Distance is fine, but we're all getting older we don't know how much time is left."

TO which I said You no very well it was more than "not dating" I agree we are getting too old, and you are too old for the mean girl things, and as for not having much time left why weren't you thinking like that when you went along with the nasty things he was saying?"

I'm so done with these people. I wish I could have a normal family.

Your sister's response was so passive-aggressive, it makes me cringe. Your response about mean-girl behavior was brilliant. I'm sure your sister is going to get defensive. I bolded the line that was meant to be mean and hurtful, deliberately so. The 'not much time left' is meant to be a way to guilt you.

I would respond again with "I understand there isn't much time left, which is why I wish I could be with everyone without these type of comments being made. Until that can happen, I choose to have some distance". That leaves the action item on her, not on you.