If your parents divorced when you were not a minor, how did it affect you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorce is not the most horrible thing that can happen to you. It's not that difficult to deal with. Try dealing with suicide. You never get THAT image out of your head. I manage to live a normal life without needing therapy, manage to raise happy kids, and manage to be a very strong person. You control your mind, how you deal with what happens to you, and how you let it affect your life. You either turn out to be a fighter or a quitter. It's up to you. I am a fighter. I'm tired of these "Woe is me, poor kids, poor adults, poor everyone, divorce is sooooo terrible" threads. What's terrible is knowing that your dad was a left-handed sharpshooter but was shot on the right side of his head, at an odd angle, and his "suicide" was the only one in the county that was not investigated. Try living with those kinds of questions and still being strong enough to deal with it. Stop whining about divorce and grow up.

I am so sorry for your loss but as someone who watched my dad deteriorate and eventually die from early onset dementia, I can tell you that there are other extremely tough ways to lose a relationship with a parent.

I can absolutely see how divorce could be difficult for adult children. Not only do they lose the comfort and security of having two parents in their family home, they also have to try to forge new relationships with new spouses that they may not like and may even downright resent. They also have to figure out a way to manage things like holidays and bitter feelings between their parents. It can not be easy.

[Anonymous]

My parents divorced when I was in college and I was glad. They were dysfunctional together. They get along better now that they arent married. My dad remarried and his wife's kids are the same age as me and my younger sibling. I am closer to them than I am to my sibling. As for holidays I go where I want and call the other. If it bothers them they keep it to themselves. I talk/email/text with both of them all the time.

[Anonymous]

I am happy for them now as they both seem so much happier. Neither is in a new relationship so maybe that helps. They divorced when I was 25, after 32 years of marriage. I am 35 now.

I was miffed at my mom at first because she instigated it. I might still resent that if my dad wasn't thriving like he is. They were always wrong for each other. My childhood was emotionally dysfunctional because of the dynamic. They probably should have divorced decades earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am happy for them now as they both seem so much happier. Neither is in a new relationship so maybe that helps. They divorced when I was 25, after 32 years of marriage. I am 35 now.

I was miffed at my mom at first because she instigated it. I might still resent that if my dad wasn't thriving like he is. They were always wrong for each other. My childhood was emotionally dysfunctional because of the dynamic. They probably should have divorced decades earlier.

FWIW, holidays are not an issue because we live 1000 miles away. I hold big happy traditional holidays and everyone is invited. They never come at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am happy for them now as they both seem so much happier. Neither is in a new relationship so maybe that helps. They divorced when I was 25, after 32 years of marriage. I am 35 now.

I was miffed at my mom at first because she instigated it. I might still resent that if my dad wasn't thriving like he is. They were always wrong for each other. My childhood was emotionally dysfunctional because of the dynamic. They probably should have divorced decades earlier.

May I ask why she pushed for it? How did your dad react?

[Anonymous]

I'm glad my dysfunctional parents pushed through and stayed together.