When did you realize (accept) your child was not gifted?

[Anonymous]

never

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was happier finding out that they're just smart and a bit above average in certain subjects rather than gifted as I was labeled growing up.

No one ever asked me if I wanted to leave my class three times per week starting in 4th grade to go take MS classes. No one asked me if I wanted to be exempt from PE class so that I could work one-on-one with an advanced math expert to further my skills. And the thing is, once you start those advanced classes so early on, even when you're old enough to protest in MS & HS, there's no going back. At least not in the school system in which I was enrolled. Once you were on the advanced track, that was it.

So you're bused to MS when you're in ES, bused to HS when in MS, and then you get to leave HS early each day to go to community college classes... and your whole life is leaving your peers and feeling like the outcast weirdo smart kid among the older kids and fielding questions from everyone about why you go to other schools. When I was in HS and taking a college Physics course, my professor would always announce to the class, "no curve on this test because Jane got a 105%" and oh boy was that fun. Nothing like the ire of 44 adult classmates not getting a grade bump because I'd scored perfect + extra credit.

By the time I was a senior in HS, I was done. All I wanted was a break and to just be normal for a bit. I missed Senior Field Day because I had a test in a college class and same with our Senior class trip. I went to an Ivy for college and a different Ivy for grad school and yes, I'm successful, but so are my co-workers who are "just smart" and had the normal experiences and went to regular ol' colleges.

acceleration is bullshit.

I totally agree! I was accelerated in math and honestly it made me not want to do math anymore. I would have done much better in a regular level class where I was encouraged to take my time and enjoy and understand it, rather than speeding through it as some kind of badge of "giftedness." This doesn't apply to everyone of course -- I knew kids who were intrinsically motivated to get ahead in math, and I think acceleration was right for them.

[Anonymous]

Giving your children a steady happy supportive childhood leading to an emotionally healthy and available adult able to navigate life's difficulties and relationships will be a pretty good 'gift' to give them.

Everyone is gifted in their own way, some people paint, some people cook, some people math, some people read, some people throw balls, some people listen, some people travel. Everyone is different. Don't get hung up on an IQ, wait for your child to show you their gifts instead of hoping for a specific type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Giving your children a steady happy supportive childhood leading to an emotionally healthy and available adult able to navigate life's difficulties and relationships will be a pretty good 'gift' to give them.

Everyone is gifted in their own way, some people paint, some people cook, some people math, some people read, some people throw balls, some people listen, some people travel. Everyone is different. Don't get hung up on an IQ, wait for your child to show you their gifts instead of hoping for a specific type.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

this is one of the funnier threads I've come across here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:never

+1 I will *never* accept it. I know my child is brilliant. I just have to find the right test to reflect that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was happier finding out that they're just smart and a bit above average in certain subjects rather than gifted as I was labeled growing up.

No one ever asked me if I wanted to leave my class three times per week starting in 4th grade to go take MS classes. No one asked me if I wanted to be exempt from PE class so that I could work one-on-one with an advanced math expert to further my skills. And the thing is, once you start those advanced classes so early on, even when you're old enough to protest in MS & HS, there's no going back. At least not in the school system in which I was enrolled. Once you were on the advanced track, that was it.

So you're bused to MS when you're in ES, bused to HS when in MS, and then you get to leave HS early each day to go to community college classes... and your whole life is leaving your peers and feeling like the outcast weirdo smart kid among the older kids and fielding questions from everyone about why you go to other schools. When I was in HS and taking a college Physics course, my professor would always announce to the class, "no curve on this test because Jane got a 105%" and oh boy was that fun. Nothing like the ire of 44 adult classmates not getting a grade bump because I'd scored perfect + extra credit.

By the time I was a senior in HS, I was done. All I wanted was a break and to just be normal for a bit. I missed Senior Field Day because I had a test in a college class and same with our Senior class trip. I went to an Ivy for college and a different Ivy for grad school and yes, I'm successful, but so are my co-workers who are "just smart" and had the normal experiences and went to regular ol' colleges.

acceleration is bullshit.

I totally agree! I was accelerated in math and honestly it made me not want to do math anymore. I would have done much better in a regular level class where I was encouraged to take my time and enjoy and understand it, rather than speeding through it as some kind of badge of "giftedness." This doesn't apply to everyone of course -- I knew kids who were intrinsically motivated to get ahead in math, and I think acceleration was right for them.

you don't need acceleration to be "ahead" in math. you just do harder problems at the same grade level. there are really hard math problems that require little math knowledge.

[Anonymous]

Wow, if my kids are happy and healthy that's all I care about.

What a strange thread.

[Anonymous]

But...but...MY CHILD CANNOT BE JUST AVERAGE!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The reason I asked the question is because I think most of us when we first have kids, deep down think that maybe (just maybe) our child will be the next Einstein, Bill Gates, Oprah, etc. We track their development and are excited they are speaking X amount of words by age Y, or they started walking early at 9 months, etc. But as they get older, most of us, I think, realize they are just normal (or average) and suddenly there's no more pressure and you start to relax and actually enjoy your kids for who they are. That's all I was getting at. One of my nieces tested in the top 1% when she was tested for entrance to a private school for Kindergarten, and another started reading by age 3 and is an amazing artist at age 6. I celebrate their gifts and achievements and no longer feel compelled to compare my kids.

Literally have never once thought that. I do hope she goes to a very good college that will help her on the path to what is hopefully is an easy life at least financially. But otherwise, that's about it....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so lame. Accept that your kid is gifted? What's the alternative? Relax about it after? Who are you people? Just let your kid be and stop stressing about it or you'll make them anxious too.

you are right in principle, but some of us are profoundly gifted ourselves and perhaps expected our kids to be the same. this is the only thing we know.

i have a very iq, and so does my husband. before i had kids i assumed they would be at the very top of every class, never get a B and easily pursue and be successful in whatever field they wish. my older kid had a profound language delay and this was a shock to me, but also a blessing in that i quickly and early disposed of those assumptions. now she caught up and i am thrilled with that and it is in fact liberating not to have all those assumptions about her or her sister. in fact i wish i could apply the same attitude towards myself.

I was considered profoundly gifted growing up with a 150+ IQ, and I skipped 2 grades.

I married a bright, curious, kind, loving man who went to an average state school, and every day I hope my kids are exactly like him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The reason I asked the question is because I think most of us when we first have kids, deep down think that maybe (just maybe) our child will be the next Einstein, Bill Gates, Oprah, etc. We track their development and are excited they are speaking X amount of words by age Y, or they started walking early at 9 months, etc. But as they get older, most of us, I think, realize they are just normal (or average) and suddenly there's no more pressure and you start to relax and actually enjoy your kids for who they are. That's all I was getting at. One of my nieces tested in the top 1% when she was tested for entrance to a private school for Kindergarten, and another started reading by age 3 and is an amazing artist at age 6. I celebrate their gifts and achievements and no longer feel compelled to compare my kids.

Literally have never once thought that. I do hope she goes to a very good college that will help her on the path to what is hopefully is an easy life at least financially. But otherwise, that's about it....

+1. Never cross my mind until now. I have never thought she would be the next Bill Gates, Oprah, or heck Mark Zuckerberg. I just want her to be safe and healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am normal person smart (Ivy League), but not a supergenius by any means. I hope that my children will figure out what makes them happy and how to pursue that as either a vocation or an avocation. That is all I want for them.

LOL. This post probably made me laugh more than all the other dumb posts on this thread.

Since when is Ivy League considered "normal person" smart? You clearly live in a bizarro bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My 5 year old took two IQ tests and did not do well at all. I was profoundly gifted and aced standardized tests went to the top universities for my fields, multiple grad degrees, etc.

I was taken aback each time but DC is so curious and delights in learning about animals, history, loves art, loves learning to read, great with math, extremely sweet and kind.

So I just ignore the tests and appreciate all the gifts I'm seeing in him.


Why are you testing your 5 year old?


The IQ tests are part of early evaluation testing in many states

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The reason I asked the question is because I think most of us when we first have kids, deep down think that maybe (just maybe) our child will be the next Einstein, Bill Gates, Oprah, etc. We track their development and are excited they are speaking X amount of words by age Y, or they started walking early at 9 months, etc. But as they get older, most of us, I think, realize they are just normal (or average) and suddenly there's no more pressure and you start to relax and actually enjoy your kids for who they are. That's all I was getting at. One of my nieces tested in the top 1% when she was tested for entrance to a private school for Kindergarten, and another started reading by age 3 and is an amazing artist at age 6. I celebrate their gifts and achievements and no longer feel compelled to compare my kids.

Literally have never once thought that. I do hope she goes to a very good college that will help her on the path to what is hopefully is an easy life at least financially. But otherwise, that's about it....

+1. Never cross my mind until now. I have never thought she would be the next Bill Gates, Oprah, or heck Mark Zuckerberg. I just want her to be safe and healthy.

Ditto. I have no desire to be the next ___ either!