Dating advice...

[Lonely_Sojourner]

Anonymous wrote:
Oh, and change your name, if you're using Lonely Sojourner on the dating site(s).

Would it be possible for you to explain a bit further as to your logic re: changing my screen name? Does it come across as too desperate? My thought process: I love to travel and do so quite often and have grown rather weary of doing it alone. I am not wedded to it, just want to understand your perspective a bit more.

L_S

[knowone]

Lonely_Sojourner wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh, and change your name, if you're using Lonely Sojourner on the dating site(s).

Would it be possible for you to explain a bit further as to your logic re: changing my screen name? Does it come across as too desperate? My thought process: I love to travel and do so quite often and have grown rather weary of doing it alone. I am not wedded to it, just want to understand your perspective a bit more.

L_S

I disagree with PP. I think it's perfect for your journey.

It reminds me of a song too...
https://youtu.be/4Nd6xEz96Ds

Walkin' down this rocky road
Wonderin' where my life is leading
Rollin' on to the bitter end
Finding out along the way what it takes to keep love living you should know how it feels my friend

[Lonely_Sojourner]

Anonymous wrote:

Lonely_Sojourner wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Lonely_Sojourner wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know what, I am flattered by your invitation and tempted to send you a note

But, and I mean this very respectfully, you are probably a bit too old for me. I am 41.

Completely understand your reservations and fully respect such. Let me share that "age is relative" as my last GF was in her late thirties.

L_S

I just read your response in the explicit forum and now I begin to question if it is really true that you are having trouble meeting a nice lady! How tall are you?

You are too cute!! I wondered how long it was going to take before someone discovered my posting on the other forum. I can honestly say that my bed is as empty as my heart... Quite sad, actually. While I'll admit that I have "skills", I have nobody to practice on. 5'11

Hey you made me smile and added a bounce to my step. This counts as flirting right???

I am a good woman but I need more time to heal. All the best to you though!

I'm glad to hear that I made you smile as that truly made me smile and yes, I consider your posts as being flirtatious. Having said that, I can send over my shaman, if you think it will help...

L_S

[Anonymous]

LS, hate to say it but I get the idea that you lack confidence, and that's OK but you need to work on it if you want to attract someone. It's great that you have all your hair, but I just came back from a vacation and I saw plenty of bald or balding guys with very good looking women next to them (and no, they were not all hedge fund managers).

Women hate needy guys. Don't worry about looking for Ms. Right. The pressure comes across to them. Ask women on dates with the intention of having a good conversation and trying a new place. Smile at them, listen to what they are saying, be a fun guy to be around.

The right person will come along when you are not forcing it. And remember, the women you date are just as nervous going on a date as you. Make it low key, just two people spending time and learning more about each other.

[Lonely_Sojourner]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh, and change your name, if you're using Lonely Sojourner on the dating site(s).

Oh, and PM me.

I quite happy to do so;however, I'm not sure if I can with your being "anonomous". I spent some researching the forum FAQs and to no avail. If there is a way for me to do this, please share...

L_S

[Anonymous]

Lonely_Sojourner wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh, and change your name, if you're using Lonely Sojourner on the dating site(s).

Oh, and PM me.

I quite happy to do so;however, I'm not sure if I can with your being "anonomous". I spent some researching the forum FAQs and to no avail. If there is a way for me to do this, please share...

L_S

Just call her. 867-5309

Jenny

[Sultry]

Lonely_Sojourner wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh, and change your name, if you're using Lonely Sojourner on the dating site(s).

Oh, and PM me.

I quite happy to do so;however, I'm not sure if I can with your being "anonomous". I spent some researching the forum FAQs and to no avail. If there is a way for me to do this, please share...

L_S

Nice to meet you, L_S

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LS, hate to say it but I get the idea that you lack confidence, and that's OK but you need to work on it if you want to attract someone. It's great that you have all your hair, but I just came back from a vacation and I saw plenty of bald or balding guys with very good looking women next to them (and no, they were not all hedge fund managers).

Women hate needy guys. Don't worry about looking for Ms. Right. The pressure comes across to them. Ask women on dates with the intention of having a good conversation and trying a new place. Smile at them, listen to what they are saying, be a fun guy to be around.

The right person will come along when you are not forcing it. And remember, the women you date are just as nervous going on a date as you. Make it low key, just two people spending time and learning more about each other.

I don't agree with this assessment. I think OP comes across very tender and real yet assertive without being an ass.
The different responses here probably mirror the women he runs into online, some go for it some find it needy.

[Anonymous]

You sound great to me OP. I am in a relationship with someone I care about that isn't going anywhere (he cares about me but is noncommittal) and burn out from dating online is part of why. I don't "show" well online. I shine in person. I think there are lots of people like me but we are all sort of passing by each other on the street or something. I really do want to share my life with someone, however, and once I get the courage will put myself back out there and hope for the best. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

I get the feeling OP is just trying to get laid. Re: last gf you sound like a complete asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get the feeling OP is just trying to get laid. Re: last gf you sound like a complete asshole.

How was he an asshole? Because he bought her a dishwasher and tires instead of a dishwasher, tires and jewelry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get the feeling OP is just trying to get laid. Re: last gf you sound like a complete asshole.

He's a widower, lonely, who wants another significant other. That's how we feel.

[Anonymous]

NP. Sorry for your loss OP.

There are women out there who would appreciate you so don't try to be someone you are not.

Play to your strengths by getting out and meeting people face to face in low pressure situations. Focus on engaging in activities that you are genuinely interested in and getting to know women you meet, rather than finding the one.

I'd rather be alone than have 100 terrible dates to find one decent one and I know there are many people who simply can't tolerate the challenges of online dating. OTOH if you're going to brave the world of online dating you do need a boatload of patience to play the numbers and very thick skin. Either way just try to relax; you sound like a cool guy, eloquent and considerate with a sense of humor to boot so you'll find love again eventually.

[Lonely_Sojourner]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the feeling OP is just trying to get laid. Re: last gf you sound like a complete asshole.

He's a widower, lonely, who wants another significant other. That's how we feel.

Finally, someone that gets it!!

Let me also address the PP's comments: I don't deny the fact that I'm tired of sleeping alone. We, as humans, are not wired to be solitary creatures and I'm certainly no different. Sure, I could go out every night and begin the arduous task of hitting on various ladies with the potential of bring one home for a night of fun (or not) and then what? My house is not a hotel and my bedroom door is not revolving. Before folks begin lighting their flamethrowers, let me state that yes, I enjoy sex very much! If in doubt, feel free to read my post on the explicit site and you'll get an idea. At this stage of my life and given the hell that I've been through, I just prefer quality versus quantity...

L_S

[Lonely_Sojourner]

Anonymous wrote:You sound great to me OP. I am in a relationship with someone I care about that isn't going anywhere (he cares about me but is noncommittal) and burn out from dating online is part of why. I don't "show" well online. I shine in person. I think there are lots of people like me but we are all sort of passing by each other on the street or something. I really do want to share my life with someone, however, and once I get the courage will put myself back out there and hope for the best. Good luck to you.

Thank you for your response and as I'm sure that you're aware, your story is quite common. I have heard from many that are unhappy in their current relationship (some are downright miserable) for a variety of reasons, yet are too scared of internet dating to do anything about it. As you shared about yourself, I think I'm in a similar situation as I likely "show" better in person versus an online setting. Further, with my being an ENTJ with a strong emphasis on the "E", I'll begin focusing on future activities that maximize my strengths and minimize my weaknesses (i.e. internet dating).

L_S