Want to Hear from Parents Who Live In Excellent Public School Districts But Chose Private Instead

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you read through these responses, you see a lot of "we were afraid" of one thing or another about public school. Afraid of class size, afraid of mediocrity, "getting lost in the shuffle," etc. Private schools have built a business model around calming those anxieties, saying just why parents want to hear, giving lots of reassurance and lots of individual attention. And I'm not saying that's wrong. It works for many families, and it calms their anxieties.

But be aware of the new and different anxieties you and your child may encounter as well: the worry of financial strain, not fitting in with the cliques in the new school, not measuring up athletically or academically, being self-conscious of not being wealthy enough, being asked to get tutors and psychological testing for not measuring up to expectations, and this last one isn't an anxiety but a risk: of becoming entitled.

I have been a student and a staff member in both public and private schools and these are just my thoughts. Private schools can look like a great relief from parental anxiety but there are many anxieties hidden under the surface too.

I'm the PP sending kid to language immersion in the fall. I understand that we may be trading one set of issues for another. In the public school forum, occasionally parents who attended privates cite their negative experiences as reasons why they're sending their kids to public.

We're going in with the notion that there is no perfect school, but that on balance, the private in question seems to be a good fit for our child. Also, we're just not that concerned about cliques or others' wealth--we'll find our people, I'm sure. I also expect that while there will be some snootiness at any place, some of it will be mitigated by the fact that a) these are other families who priority language immersion over schools that may have more impressive reputations; this alone selects for a different group relative to most privates, and b) there is some turnover each year at international schools as families move away and others start, so social groups stay somewhat fluid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Langley HS pyramid. Sent our children to private school from K-12.

Langley pyramid is way overrated.

- Left public after 6th grade

[Anonymous]

Moved to McLean for the schools. My wife and I were both educated at public schools and we never even considered private back in the day.

Our son did not thrive in the local FCPS GT center (now AAP). 3rd party coaching did not help.

My wife was relentless in seeking the right path for our son and she looked into private. Ultimately, my son entered a private in 9th grade and he was a different person/student within a semester.

Why?

- He couldn’t hide or get lost in the small class sizes.

- Son loved the fact that he had more control of his experience. In retrospect, it seems like he needed more of a self-directed learning environment. We were not helicopter parents but he clearly wanted more independence which was easy to give him given the way the school assigned him an academic adviser who kept in close contact with us. We stopped asking about homework each night.

-Son quickly found peers that he respected and related to. Amazing kids that we are grateful for.

-The environment – campus, classes, food, athletics, peers, teachers, and culture – agreed with him. I truly believe that his school expected a certain level of “professionalism”
that he was glad to live up to because he respected the school.

Ultimately, my son had an amazing high school experience and college outcome and he is now thriving at his university. We moved our daughter to the same private.

I might have been one of the people in this thread with cynical thoughts about private school just a few years ago and I still believe public is a great option for many/most kids. It was for me. But for some kids, I firmly believe the unique attributes of a private make a big difference. And if it matters, private is a sacrifice for us.

[Anonymous]

Our kids started in our MoCo elementary, and developed friends in the neighborhood.

We switched into private school at 6th grade for middle school and chose it over a magnet/GT program. Our DC is quiet,shy and did get lost and overwhelmed in the elementary school, esp. in the later elementary school years.
Private school was a great fit for DC- with small classes, mandatory sports participation, and a culture of self-advocacy.

Our second DC also followed that path and went to a private school at 6th grade. This child would have done well at our MoCo public school, as DC's school feels too small. Having the friendships from public school has been a lifesaver through middle school.

in terms of education, I don't think my kids were missing out by going to a public elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have had students in both APS and private in middle and elementary school grades. The APS experience has been good, with enthusiastic and dedicated teachers. But the curriculum tends toward average. Private school is able to set a more challenging curriculum, and incorporate more writing and in-depth research projects. I've seen very few long-form writing assignments at APS. They write a short-answer essay question on a test, but never 5-7 page research paper with footnotes. Private requires writing in English and History classes, APS doesn't. Foreign language at our private is rigorous, and APS is much easier.

The social aspect is definitely a factor in our private. There is vast wealth and only a very level-headed child will be unmoved by the inequity within their class. That said, there is a sense of community at our school which is very inclusive to our students & families.

We are another family with children in both APS and private and I totally disagree with your assessment and experience with APS schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the people I know in close in Northern VA, who attend private, do so for the "social" aspect.

That says a lot about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are struggling with whether to enroll our DD in K in our school district (FCC) or bus her to "top tier" private school she was just accepted at. I would love to hear from parents who live in great public school districts but chose to send their kids to private anyways.

My concern stems mainly from the really high student-teacher ratios at many of the "great" publics and the fact that many of these pyramids are over capacity to begin with and expecting large additional future growth. I don't want my kid caught up in an rapidly overcrowding school district, but it seems irrational on its face to consider private when you pay FCC taxes. More importantly, there's a social component. All our friends and DD's friends live in FCC. We'd have help with pick-up and drop-off if we need it. Playdates would be close by. We are unlikely to develop a great social network at the private considering how far it would be away.

Would really appreciate hearing from other parents who made this decision. TIA!

On the flip side of public schools having larger class sizes, private schools have teachers who are uncertified and earn far less than public school teachers.

[Anonymous]

Another APS family and have had kids in both S and N APS. We're evaluating private for our DD due to class sizes, obsession and stress of SOLs, and lack of focus on more intangibles like writing. That said, the math, science, art and music has been very impressive at APS. It is very individual to the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Langley HS pyramid. Sent our children to private school from K-12.

Langley pyramid is way overrated.

- Left public after 6th grade

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Langley HS pyramid. Sent our children to private school from K-12.

Langley pyramid is way overrated.

- Left public after 6th grade

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the people I know in close in Northern VA, who attend private, do so for the "social" aspect.

That says a lot about you.

How the hell would you know anything about me? LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were struggling with the same issue. We live in a "great" part of the FCPS system but are choosing to commute and go private.

Our main reasoning is because DC needs to be challenged and I don't see it happening in a classroom with 25-30 Kindergarteners. Student teacher ratio is big with us so we're willing to stretch for a few years until all the babies are in the same private.

Fortunately for us, our social circle is not in our neighborhood and our close friends are very like minded. Their children attend a lot of the privates in the area. Think Alexandria Country Day, Ideaventions, PVI, etc.

It wasn't an easy choice but now that we've made it, we're completely satisfied and DC could not be more excited to start in the fall.

FCPS classes are too big, especially the "popular"/"highly regarded" schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Neighbors who do this (MoCo, W cluster) do it because:
- family 1: wanted a religion-based education, always planned to go private
- family 2: special needs kid, just felt like private was a better fit; never planned to go private
- family 3: status/want to show off money; have several kids, all in different privates and travel sports; probably always planned to go private
- family 4: both parents teach at the same private school, tuition is covered and it's convenient; would switch to public if the circumstances changed

Hate to break it to you but parents show off money by getting a huge house, a country club membership, brand new cars ever few years and lavish trips. They do not show off their money by spending it for a child to go to a school. They don't. I am not saying there are not people in private schools that do show off money, but most do not. And there are plenty of parents that show off their money and save more of it for themselves by sending their kids to public.

Not sure what travel sports has to do with it either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are struggling with whether to enroll our DD in K in our school district (FCC) or bus her to "top tier" private school she was just accepted at. I would love to hear from parents who live in great public school districts but chose to send their kids to private anyways.

My concern stems mainly from the really high student-teacher ratios at many of the "great" publics and the fact that many of these pyramids are over capacity to begin with and expecting large additional future growth. I don't want my kid caught up in an rapidly overcrowding school district, but it seems irrational on its face to consider private when you pay FCC taxes. More importantly, there's a social component. All our friends and DD's friends live in FCC. We'd have help with pick-up and drop-off if we need it. Playdates would be close by. We are unlikely to develop a great social network at the private considering how far it would be away.

Would really appreciate hearing from other parents who made this decision. TIA!

On the flip side of public schools having larger class sizes, private schools have teachers who are uncertified and earn far less than public school teachers.

Please show me stats on this for this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neighbors who do this (MoCo, W cluster) do it because:
- family 1: wanted a religion-based education, always planned to go private
- family 2: special needs kid, just felt like private was a better fit; never planned to go private
- family 3: status/want to show off money; have several kids, all in different privates and travel sports; probably always planned to go private
- family 4: both parents teach at the same private school, tuition is covered and it's convenient; would switch to public if the circumstances changed

Hate to break it to you but parents show off money by getting a huge house, a country club membership, brand new cars ever few years and lavish trips. They do not show off their money by spending it for a child to go to a school. They don't. I am not saying there are not people in private schools that do show off money, but most do not. And there are plenty of parents that show off their money and save more of it for themselves by sending their kids to public.

Not sure what travel sports has to do with it either.

Most do not, but some do! I've known parents who flaunt their children's schools the way they flaunt the status symbols you mention above. It's pretty obvious, especially because most parents aren't like this. (Fist bumps to most of you parents at elite schools.) Maybe it's less obvious if you're also a parent at that private school, because why would they show it off to you? But when people name drop their child's school when it's irrelevant to the conversation ("Nice to meet you, have you tried the blueberry muffins at this brunch?...I used to stop for a blueberry muffin for my daughter Larla before dropping her off at Fancypants Academy....") I'd consider that showing off.