Want to Hear from Parents Who Live In Excellent Public School Districts But Chose Private Instead

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - Thank you all so much for your candid and detailed responses. My gut keeps telling me private is the way to go, that we can always fall back on the public, that we have kept our costs modest so we have the option of giving the best to our kid, etc. My rational scientific-leaning brain keeps getting in the way - especially because no one in our social circle is going private, so it almost seems daunting. I think I need to trust my gut, though.

Thank you all again!

I actually think you should start in public if your school is good. If the teacher is good enough, a class of 25 is not a big deal at all, as public school teachers are trained to work with this many kids. My kids started in public, got a solid foundation in basic skills, and then moved to private. You might even find that public is a great fit. I also much preferred the social vibe at our diverse public than at our fancy private, but my kids are happier in the private overall so we are staying for the older grades. But I have zero regrets about starting in public ( am actually thrilled that I did not pay big bucks for PK-2).

Interestingly, our public elementary is less diverse than the private we are going to. Is the curriculum 2.0 going to drag public school system down?

What do you mean by “less diverse”? A majority are children of color?

Not the PP, but our Big 3 is far more diverse racially and ethnically than Lafayette (our in-bounds school). I would say in terms of socio-economic status, the student body is probably similar. The true economic and social diversity comes with Deal and Wilson. Our Big 3 is still racially and ethnically diverse in the middle and high schools, but we don't have much of a true middle class--some kids on financial aid, and many from very wealthy families than can afford to send their kids to a school that costs $40K/year/student.

[Anonymous]

Despite living in a good public school district, we sent several children to private school from pk-12.

[Anonymous]

We live in a good FCPS pyramid in Vienna and chose private starting in preschool. We did not want an academic kindergarten setting or obsession with SOLs down the road. Also did not want huge class sizes. Tuition is a stretch. We full pay so it's doable but not without sacrifices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Neighbors who do this (MoCo, W cluster) do it because:
- family 1: wanted a religion-based education, always planned to go private
- family 2: special needs kid, just felt like private was a better fit; never planned to go private
- family 3: status/want to show off money; have several kids, all in different privates and travel sports; probably always planned to go private
- family 4: both parents teach at the same private school, tuition is covered and it's convenient; would switch to public if the circumstances changed

We are in a W cluster and it's a great high school for the right kid. Lots of kids going to great schools from our W school. Over 500 kids per grade, though! We will probably end up paying for private for smaller classes, teachers who will know my kid by name.

[Anonymous]

Needed a better school for boys. To get away from the mostly young female teachers who didn't have a clue.

[Anonymous]

Good ES public, curriculum changed recently and we're not comfortable with it.
Other items, very inexperienced young teachers, teacher turnover high (don't like commute), frequent standardized testing, 1 recess a day, no foreign language, no dedicated art teacher (1/week only), etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you read through these responses, you see a lot of "we were afraid" of one thing or another about public school. Afraid of class size, afraid of mediocrity, "getting lost in the shuffle," etc. Private schools have built a business model around calming those anxieties, saying just why parents want to hear, giving lots of reassurance and lots of individual attention. And I'm not saying that's wrong. It works for many families, and it calms their anxieties.

But be aware of the new and different anxieties you and your child may encounter as well: the worry of financial strain, not fitting in with the cliques in the new school, not measuring up athletically or academically, being self-conscious of not being wealthy enough, being asked to get tutors and psychological testing for not measuring up to expectations, and this last one isn't an anxiety but a risk: of becoming entitled.

I have been a student and a staff member in both public and private schools and these are just my thoughts. Private schools can look like a great relief from parental anxiety but there are many anxieties hidden under the surface too.

+1 agree on all of this

[Anonymous]

Jeez, the way people talk on this thread makes it sound like no one can be successful coming from a public school. That simply is not true. Yes, public schools include those that are destined for non-college jobs, but they also include those that are destined for politics, law, medicine, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, the way people talk on this thread makes it sound like no one can be successful coming from a public school. That simply is not true.

Please quote the posts in this thread where people have said that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, the way people talk on this thread makes it sound like no one can be successful coming from a public school. That simply is not true. Yes, public schools include those that are destined for non-college jobs, but they also include those that are destined for politics, law, medicine, etc.

At the rate public schools are deteriorating and the overcrowding in the remaining decent ones, it will become harder and harder for kids to be successful unless they and their parents are motivated and spend a ton of money on extracurriculars and or tutoring to get ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, the way people talk on this thread makes it sound like no one can be successful coming from a public school. That simply is not true. Yes, public schools include those that are destined for non-college jobs, but they also include those that are destined for politics, law, medicine, etc.

At the rate public schools are deteriorating and the overcrowding in the remaining decent ones, it will become harder and harder for kids to be successful unless they and their parents are motivated and spend a ton of money on extracurriculars and or tutoring to get ahead.

+1

I may not be typical of the average DCUM poster to the independent schools forum, but one reason I am fighting so hard to pay tuition, at least for a while, is that I was a lower middle class student in a public school. The school was not terrible, but it was also true that students who did not stick out (one way or the other) would slide through the system. Only particular effort or focus by myself or a parent would have pushed against these tendency. I just want my child to be seen and nurtured and gently pushed as much as possible, without him having to be in trouble or exceptional in talent.

Every so often, someone points out that this is potentially a waste of money (maybe true). But then they say something like, "the good kids rise to the top everywhere," and I suspect immediately that I am doing the right thing. If your kid does well in the system, it is because of their virtues. If they do not, they are just the unwashed masses, there is nothing to see, and we can go on allowing most children to get an education less than the one they deserve.

[Anonymous]

DC # 1 went through our good FCPS and is in HS now, and is fine.

DC # 2 is significantly younger, and our school is now overwhelmed by ESOL and FARMS. These kids are consuming all of the resources and my kid, neither AP nor special needs, is lost in the middle somewhere. Doesn't "need" special attention, so she doesn't get it. And I am not opposed to immigration and even incorporating unaccompanied minors into our schools. But at some point, there is no longer a rising tide lifting all boats; instead, the boats are totally overwhelmed.

I'm moving her to Catholic school at the start of the new quarter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC # 2 is significantly younger, and our school is now overwhelmed by ESOL and FARMS. These kids are consuming all of the resources and my kid, neither AP nor special needs, is lost in the middle somewhere.

I get the ESOL part, but what resources are FARMS kids taking away from your DC education-wise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC # 1 went through our good FCPS and is in HS now, and is fine.

DC # 2 is significantly younger, and our school is now overwhelmed by ESOL and FARMS. These kids are consuming all of the resources and my kid, neither AP nor special needs, is lost in the middle somewhere. Doesn't "need" special attention, so she doesn't get it. And I am not opposed to immigration and even incorporating unaccompanied minors into our schools. But at some point, there is no longer a rising tide lifting all boats; instead, the boats are totally overwhelmed.

I'm moving her to Catholic school at the start of the new quarter.

Yep, this. No teacher--no matter how great--can really diversify instruction for 25 or more kids, especially when you take into account kids with specialized needs. My sister and I went to very strong public schools for elementary school, and I continued through middle school, before going to a private high school. My parents made the decision to start my sister at private school for middle school, in part because of a conversation they had with her 4th grade teacher. He was sending my sister and her friend to the library for "independent research" for nearly the entire school day. Why? He said, "I simply don't have the time to meet their needs. I have 28 kids in the class, and have to concentrate on the kids who are struggling." It wasn't his fault, but she didn't learn a thing that year. She might as well have gone to the local library.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, the way people talk on this thread makes it sound like no one can be successful coming from a public school. That simply is not true. Yes, public schools include those that are destined for non-college jobs, but they also include those that are destined for politics, law, medicine, etc.

At the rate public schools are deteriorating and the overcrowding in the remaining decent ones, it will become harder and harder for kids to be successful unless they and their parents are motivated and spend a ton of money on extracurriculars and or tutoring to get ahead.

That’s B.S.