Want to Hear from Parents Who Live In Excellent Public School Districts But Chose Private Instead

[Anonymous]

Putting our son in private school although we live in great school district in MoCo. I went to public school my entire life and my husband went to private school until college. When my husband suggested private school, I wasn't convinced there was a need so I said I would learn more about it. After my first private school tour, I was blown away. It didn't take long and I totally understood why people send their kids to private school.

Reasons for us:
1. Our son is very smart and way ahead of most kids his age. There are plenty of gifted programs in public schools when you get to later years, but not much at the elementary level. Due to class size and mix of capabilities in public school, I worry that he would not get the focus and attention he needs to thrive.
2. Class size and individual teacher attention / No overcrowding issues at private schools
3. Great learning environment - Since private schools select the kids, those with behavioral issues are weeded out so there are less disruptions to the classroom learning environment. Each private school has its own unique culture and you can select a school that best meets the individual needs of your child and aligns with your family's values.
4. The early years are critical years for cultivating good work habits and a positive attitude and confidence about learning and school. Ensuring the right learning environment in the early years is important to later success.
5. Teaching style in private school is not focused on testing
6. Breadth of curriculum - particularly STEM and foreign language. MoCo public schools do not incorporate foreign language until later years. They offer it as an after school program but not part of required curriculum.
7. More focus on social skills / emotional intelligence / moral values
8. Money is not an issue (If it was, it would be a different assessment in selecting a school)

[Anonymous]

We live in the Wootton cluster in MoCo. My husband is an immigrant and had a horrific public school experience in his home country. No amount of debate could convince him we have excellent schools. Heck, our elementary is within walking distance and "under" enrolled.

So we chose a secular private. It's been great in a lot of ways and has had some drawbacks in others. It has convinced me there is no singular perfect school. There are schools that are a better fit for your individual child. It's hard to figure that what's best for kindergarten though.

Overall, I've been happy with our choice of private for elementary school. A much deeper exeanination of information. Much more hands on projects. Inquiry based. Great character education. My son is very confident, speaks well to adults, and is very empathetic. He is happy to go to school every day.

The downside is small classes can exacerbate social issues among by particular kids. Private schools can play favorites if someone is a big donor. But the good has outweighed the challenges for us.

Small classes and differentiated instruction have been amazing. Some teachers are truly gems. A couple have been mediocre.

Id give our experience a B+. I think our local public would have been a B-.

[Anonymous]

While I wholeheartedly believe that my children are receiving a better education at our private school compared to the excellent neighborhood public (Lafayette/Deal), the real issue for us is whether it is worth $70K/year for two kids. That's a tough pill to swallow no matter what one's income.

[Anonymous]

And if you choose private, you child will be "smarter," achieve more, make more money, and generally be happier in life than they would have been if you sent them to public. So it's definitely worth the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And if you choose private, you child will be "smarter," achieve more, make more money, and generally be happier in life than they would have been if you sent them to public. So it's definitely worth the money.

And if this turns out not to be the case, if you keep the receipt they'll give you your money back

[Anonymous]

We live in a W MCPS neighborhood and choose public for my first DC and then private for my younger DC. Main reason for us was smaller classes, more individualized attention and a better whole child view that I think is missing in public school. I agree that visiting private schools is amazing and makes you want to enroll your kids. When we enrolled younger DC in school, everyone at the new private speculated we would move our older DC too, once we got the private school mojo. But, we didn't. Truth is there are a lot of good schools and my older DC is happy, goes to a W high school with local friends and is a good fit for him - he is likes the freedom, large classes and easy commute. But private is a good fit for my younger DC and I expect DC will stay at his amazing school through high school.

[Anonymous]

When you read through these responses, you see a lot of "we were afraid" of one thing or another about public school. Afraid of class size, afraid of mediocrity, "getting lost in the shuffle," etc. Private schools have built a business model around calming those anxieties, saying just why parents want to hear, giving lots of reassurance and lots of individual attention. And I'm not saying that's wrong. It works for many families, and it calms their anxieties.

But be aware of the new and different anxieties you and your child may encounter as well: the worry of financial strain, not fitting in with the cliques in the new school, not measuring up athletically or academically, being self-conscious of not being wealthy enough, being asked to get tutors and psychological testing for not measuring up to expectations, and this last one isn't an anxiety but a risk: of becoming entitled.

I have been a student and a staff member in both public and private schools and these are just my thoughts. Private schools can look like a great relief from parental anxiety but there are many anxieties hidden under the surface too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you read through these responses, you see a lot of "we were afraid" of one thing or another about public school. Afraid of class size, afraid of mediocrity, "getting lost in the shuffle," etc. Private schools have built a business model around calming those anxieties, saying just why parents want to hear, giving lots of reassurance and lots of individual attention. And I'm not saying that's wrong. It works for many families, and it calms their anxieties.

But be aware of the new and different anxieties you and your child may encounter as well: the worry of financial strain, not fitting in with the cliques in the new school, not measuring up athletically or academically, being self-conscious of not being wealthy enough, being asked to get tutors and psychological testing for not measuring up to expectations, and this last one isn't an anxiety but a risk: of becoming entitled.

I have been a student and a staff member in both public and private schools and these are just my thoughts. Private schools can look like a great relief from parental anxiety but there are many anxieties hidden under the surface too.

Well said!

[Anonymous]

I hear you, PP, but if my kid needs the help I welcome the suggestions of testing and tutors. The concern is that the problem doesn't get noticed, you know?

But here is the other thing. There is so much variation among the privates around here in terms of competitiveness, relative wealth of families, etc. Do enough research even on dcum and you get a sense of this, and if you are looking to avoid potential status and performance anxieties, choose one of the more low key schools. We were mindful of these questions when we made our choice.

[Anonymous]

We have had students in both APS and private in middle and elementary school grades. The APS experience has been good, with enthusiastic and dedicated teachers. But the curriculum tends toward average. Private school is able to set a more challenging curriculum, and incorporate more writing and in-depth research projects. I've seen very few long-form writing assignments at APS. They write a short-answer essay question on a test, but never 5-7 page research paper with footnotes. Private requires writing in English and History classes, APS doesn't. Foreign language at our private is rigorous, and APS is much easier.

The social aspect is definitely a factor in our private. There is vast wealth and only a very level-headed child will be unmoved by the inequity within their class. That said, there is a sense of community at our school which is very inclusive to our students & families.

[Anonymous]

Langley HS pyramid. Sent our children to private school from K-12.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in a W feeder neighborhood in MCPS. Sent DC to public for two years before making the switch. Our highly rated elementary school had gigantic classes, tested constantly, rigorously stuck to the county curriculum with zero creativity, gave almost no feedback on how DC was doing on any regular basis, and had PE for a grand total of 30 minutes per week. Our DC was a soft-spoken, good student who didn't need a lot of extra help or get in trouble - with many others in the class who fell into either or both of those categories, our DC got lost in the shuffle. We are in private now and DC has really flourished.

this is exactly why I chose private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you read through these responses, you see a lot of "we were afraid" of one thing or another about public school. Afraid of class size, afraid of mediocrity, "getting lost in the shuffle," etc. Private schools have built a business model around calming those anxieties, saying just why parents want to hear, giving lots of reassurance and lots of individual attention. And I'm not saying that's wrong. It works for many families, and it calms their anxieties.

But be aware of the new and different anxieties you and your child may encounter as well: the worry of financial strain, not fitting in with the cliques in the new school, not measuring up athletically or academically, being self-conscious of not being wealthy enough, being asked to get tutors and psychological testing for not measuring up to expectations, and this last one isn't an anxiety but a risk: of becoming entitled.

I have been a student and a staff member in both public and private schools and these are just my thoughts. Private schools can look like a great relief from parental anxiety but there are many anxieties hidden under the surface too.

Well said. We, however, gave our public school a shot with our oldest in K and 1st. She had a class of 25-30 kids. We are now suffering the consequences of having a child fall through the cracks. We won't make that mistake again.

[Anonymous]

I went to a top Ivy. The kids who really excelled there tended to be public school graduates. The private school graduates were more sophisticated as entering freshmen, but had less drive and a weaker work ethic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a top Ivy. The kids who really excelled there tended to be public school graduates. The private school graduates were more sophisticated as entering freshmen, but had less drive and a weaker work ethic.

How long ago? These days it seems that everyone has to be hard charging or there's zero chance of getting into top ivy.