MIL keeps buying kids crap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL did that and it (along with lots of other things) annoyed me to no end.

With three kids it really added up when she was buying 5-10 gifts each for Christmas and bdays.

I bit my tongue and just graciously thanked her, even as I bitched to husband later after the kids went to bed.

But in front of the kids it was always graciousness and appreciation.

I am so glad I handled it this way instead of choosing to make this a hill worth fighting over and damaging an important relationship over cheap plastic crap.

Over recent years, my aging inlaws have been dealing with increasing health issues, to the point that the past few gift giving events have decreased in quantity. This past Christmas, my kids skyped with grandparents and opened truly minimal Christmas gifts. They were enthusiastic and grateful, because that is how we always behaved when given a gift. It did not matter that one received sweatpants and the other a couple packs of pokemon cards instead of the piles of presents they were used to.

And more importantly, the grandparents got to experience the joy of giving to gracious recipients, whether it was a $10.00 Target T or piles of licensed crap.

Ask yourself this OP, is making a doting grandparent feel bad and potentially damaging a close family relationship worth it over a bunch of cheap crap that you can easily filter out once it is "broken" or "lost"? How important is thia battle of stuff to you? What kind of recipients do you want to teach your kids to be? The kind that intuitively know how to be gracious and appreciative no matter what the gift? Or the kind of person that only wants what they want, and is okay with making someone feel bad for giving the wrong thing?

This is great. You bitch about what you have until it is gone.

If MIL was NOT involved in the kids lives or NOT giving gifts, there would be a post about how horrible she was. People just need to find something to bitch about and it is a shame.

So ungrateful.

Yeah, no. In my case, my ILs are buying crap for my 1 year old DC. She's at least six months away from expressing polite gratitude, which of course I demonstrate/will teach her. But in the meantime, the constant piles of cheap s**t are insane. I would really and truly rather they not spend their money...or failing that, if they can't help themselves, just put it into her 529. Instead, I have to find space for (I kid you not) stuff like toxic-looking Made in China toys for ages 3 and up; kick pads for the back of our front car seats, when DC will be in a rear-facing seat for YEARS; various glass keepsake boxes (for first tooth, etc.); and on and on. And that's not to mention all the tacky, non-returnable KMart clothing (no seriously, they don't take returns, can't even exchange for something like diapers). Obviously I'm not going to say anything to them, but I will bitch in an anonymous forum!

[Anonymous]

But why, PP, do you have to keep any of it?

Throw it away. I do a quick sweep of my house a few times a week and throw away cheap crap and twice a year I do a massive purge and throw away two massive garbage bags full of stuff.

Anything of value (doubtful, but maybe some clothes), donate to goodwill.

I don't understand why this is a problem for anyone. Smile, say thanks, throw away as you see fit, repeat as needed. If you get asked where things are, say you did some spring cleaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL did that and it (along with lots of other things) annoyed me to no end.

With three kids it really added up when she was buying 5-10 gifts each for Christmas and bdays.

I bit my tongue and just graciously thanked her, even as I bitched to husband later after the kids went to bed.

But in front of the kids it was always graciousness and appreciation.

I am so glad I handled it this way instead of choosing to make this a hill worth fighting over and damaging an important relationship over cheap plastic crap.

Over recent years, my aging inlaws have been dealing with increasing health issues, to the point that the past few gift giving events have decreased in quantity. This past Christmas, my kids skyped with grandparents and opened truly minimal Christmas gifts. They were enthusiastic and grateful, because that is how we always behaved when given a gift. It did not matter that one received sweatpants and the other a couple packs of pokemon cards instead of the piles of presents they were used to.

And more importantly, the grandparents got to experience the joy of giving to gracious recipients, whether it was a $10.00 Target T or piles of licensed crap.

Ask yourself this OP, is making a doting grandparent feel bad and potentially damaging a close family relationship worth it over a bunch of cheap crap that you can easily filter out once it is "broken" or "lost"? How important is thia battle of stuff to you? What kind of recipients do you want to teach your kids to be? The kind that intuitively know how to be gracious and appreciative no matter what the gift? Or the kind of person that only wants what they want, and is okay with making someone feel bad for giving the wrong thing?

This is great. You bitch about what you have until it is gone.

If MIL was NOT involved in the kids lives or NOT giving gifts, there would be a post about how horrible she was. People just need to find something to bitch about and it is a shame.

So ungrateful.

Yeah, no. In my case, my ILs are buying crap for my 1 year old DC. She's at least six months away from expressing polite gratitude, which of course I demonstrate/will teach her. But in the meantime, the constant piles of cheap s**t are insane. I would really and truly rather they not spend their money...or failing that, if they can't help themselves, just put it into her 529. Instead, I have to find space for (I kid you not) stuff like toxic-looking Made in China toys for ages 3 and up; THROW AWAY kick pads for the back of our front car seats, GIVE TO FRIEND OR COWORKER WITH OLDER KIDS when DC will be in a rear-facing seat for YEARS; various glass keepsake boxes (for first tooth, etc.); THROW AWAY and on and on. And that's not to mention all the tacky, non-returnable KMart clothing DONATE (no seriously, they don't take returns, can't even exchange for something like diapers). Obviously I'm not going to say anything to them, but I will bitch in an anonymous forum!

Solved your problem for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine brings cakes, cookies, candy, etc. every single time. Told her we needed to limit that sweets for health reasons. Next time she showed up with oranges and apples. Just can't come empty handed so I give up.

LOL - you are complaining about oranges and apples? Get some help.

I guess I should have explained better -- massive quantities (big Costco boxes) all cut up -- I have don't have the space to store them in my fridge and we can't possible eat that much before they go bad.

She cuts of big boxes of fruit!? LOL. Well, if it were me I'd be making applesauce (SUPER easy), muffins, tossing them in salads, sharing with the neighbors or coworkers etc.

I love this - for every person who bitches - there is someone who finds a positive.

When handed lemons...

Still no room to store that in my fridge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL did that and it (along with lots of other things) annoyed me to no end.

With three kids it really added up when she was buying 5-10 gifts each for Christmas and bdays.

I bit my tongue and just graciously thanked her, even as I bitched to husband later after the kids went to bed.

But in front of the kids it was always graciousness and appreciation.

I am so glad I handled it this way instead of choosing to make this a hill worth fighting over and damaging an important relationship over cheap plastic crap.

Over recent years, my aging inlaws have been dealing with increasing health issues, to the point that the past few gift giving events have decreased in quantity. This past Christmas, my kids skyped with grandparents and opened truly minimal Christmas gifts. They were enthusiastic and grateful, because that is how we always behaved when given a gift. It did not matter that one received sweatpants and the other a couple packs of pokemon cards instead of the piles of presents they were used to.

And more importantly, the grandparents got to experience the joy of giving to gracious recipients, whether it was a $10.00 Target T or piles of licensed crap.

Ask yourself this OP, is making a doting grandparent feel bad and potentially damaging a close family relationship worth it over a bunch of cheap crap that you can easily filter out once it is "broken" or "lost"? How important is thia battle of stuff to you? What kind of recipients do you want to teach your kids to be? The kind that intuitively know how to be gracious and appreciative no matter what the gift? Or the kind of person that only wants what they want, and is okay with making someone feel bad for giving the wrong thing?

This is great. You bitch about what you have until it is gone.

If MIL was NOT involved in the kids lives or NOT giving gifts, there would be a post about how horrible she was. People just need to find something to bitch about and it is a shame.

So ungrateful.

Yeah, no. In my case, my ILs are buying crap for my 1 year old DC. She's at least six months away from expressing polite gratitude, which of course I demonstrate/will teach her. But in the meantime, the constant piles of cheap s**t are insane. I would really and truly rather they not spend their money...or failing that, if they can't help themselves, just put it into her 529. Instead, I have to find space for (I kid you not) stuff like toxic-looking Made in China toys for ages 3 and up; THROW AWAY kick pads for the back of our front car seats, GIVE TO FRIEND OR COWORKER WITH OLDER KIDS when DC will be in a rear-facing seat for YEARS; various glass keepsake boxes (for first tooth, etc.); THROW AWAY and on and on. And that's not to mention all the tacky, non-returnable KMart clothing DONATE (no seriously, they don't take returns, can't even exchange for something like diapers). Obviously I'm not going to say anything to them, but I will bitch in an anonymous forum!

Solved your problem for you.

Do you also have a brilliant response for MIL and SIL when they ask about the whereabouts of their gifts? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

When my mom or MIL buys something I love and can use, I gush over it. "I just love the way Gymboree washes." etc. I also turned both on to Amazon and reading the reviews which helps a lot with age appropriate toys and getting highly rated toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL did that and it (along with lots of other things) annoyed me to no end.

With three kids it really added up when she was buying 5-10 gifts each for Christmas and bdays.

I bit my tongue and just graciously thanked her, even as I bitched to husband later after the kids went to bed.

But in front of the kids it was always graciousness and appreciation.

I am so glad I handled it this way instead of choosing to make this a hill worth fighting over and damaging an important relationship over cheap plastic crap.

Over recent years, my aging inlaws have been dealing with increasing health issues, to the point that the past few gift giving events have decreased in quantity. This past Christmas, my kids skyped with grandparents and opened truly minimal Christmas gifts. They were enthusiastic and grateful, because that is how we always behaved when given a gift. It did not matter that one received sweatpants and the other a couple packs of pokemon cards instead of the piles of presents they were used to.

And more importantly, the grandparents got to experience the joy of giving to gracious recipients, whether it was a $10.00 Target T or piles of licensed crap.

Ask yourself this OP, is making a doting grandparent feel bad and potentially damaging a close family relationship worth it over a bunch of cheap crap that you can easily filter out once it is "broken" or "lost"? How important is thia battle of stuff to you? What kind of recipients do you want to teach your kids to be? The kind that intuitively know how to be gracious and appreciative no matter what the gift? Or the kind of person that only wants what they want, and is okay with making someone feel bad for giving the wrong thing?

This is great. You bitch about what you have until it is gone.

If MIL was NOT involved in the kids lives or NOT giving gifts, there would be a post about how horrible she was. People just need to find something to bitch about and it is a shame.

So ungrateful.

Yeah, no. In my case, my ILs are buying crap for my 1 year old DC. She's at least six months away from expressing polite gratitude, which of course I demonstrate/will teach her. But in the meantime, the constant piles of cheap s**t are insane. I would really and truly rather they not spend their money...or failing that, if they can't help themselves, just put it into her 529. Instead, I have to find space for (I kid you not) stuff like toxic-looking Made in China toys for ages 3 and up; THROW AWAY kick pads for the back of our front car seats, GIVE TO FRIEND OR COWORKER WITH OLDER KIDS when DC will be in a rear-facing seat for YEARS; various glass keepsake boxes (for first tooth, etc.); THROW AWAY and on and on. And that's not to mention all the tacky, non-returnable KMart clothing DONATE (no seriously, they don't take returns, can't even exchange for something like diapers). Obviously I'm not going to say anything to them, but I will bitch in an anonymous forum!

Solved your problem for you.

Do you also have a brilliant response for MIL and SIL when they ask about the whereabouts of their gifts? Thanks.

This! I'd love to throw it all away! Inevitably, they ask about it! Either to me, or my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL did that and it (along with lots of other things) annoyed me to no end.

With three kids it really added up when she was buying 5-10 gifts each for Christmas and bdays.

I bit my tongue and just graciously thanked her, even as I bitched to husband later after the kids went to bed.

But in front of the kids it was always graciousness and appreciation.

I am so glad I handled it this way instead of choosing to make this a hill worth fighting over and damaging an important relationship over cheap plastic crap.

Over recent years, my aging inlaws have been dealing with increasing health issues, to the point that the past few gift giving events have decreased in quantity. This past Christmas, my kids skyped with grandparents and opened truly minimal Christmas gifts. They were enthusiastic and grateful, because that is how we always behaved when given a gift. It did not matter that one received sweatpants and the other a couple packs of pokemon cards instead of the piles of presents they were used to.

And more importantly, the grandparents got to experience the joy of giving to gracious recipients, whether it was a $10.00 Target T or piles of licensed crap.

Ask yourself this OP, is making a doting grandparent feel bad and potentially damaging a close family relationship worth it over a bunch of cheap crap that you can easily filter out once it is "broken" or "lost"? How important is thia battle of stuff to you? What kind of recipients do you want to teach your kids to be? The kind that intuitively know how to be gracious and appreciative no matter what the gift? Or the kind of person that only wants what they want, and is okay with making someone feel bad for giving the wrong thing?

This is great. You bitch about what you have until it is gone.

If MIL was NOT involved in the kids lives or NOT giving gifts, there would be a post about how horrible she was. People just need to find something to bitch about and it is a shame.

So ungrateful.

Yeah, no. In my case, my ILs are buying crap for my 1 year old DC. She's at least six months away from expressing polite gratitude, which of course I demonstrate/will teach her. But in the meantime, the constant piles of cheap s**t are insane. I would really and truly rather they not spend their money...or failing that, if they can't help themselves, just put it into her 529. Instead, I have to find space for (I kid you not) stuff like toxic-looking Made in China toys for ages 3 and up; kick pads for the back of our front car seats, when DC will be in a rear-facing seat for YEARS; various glass keepsake boxes (for first tooth, etc.); and on and on. And that's not to mention all the tacky, non-returnable KMart clothing (no seriously, they don't take returns, can't even exchange for something like diapers). Obviously I'm not going to say anything to them, but I will bitch in an anonymous forum!

I hear ya. Throw away the junk toys, the kick mats and all the other junk for 3 years and up. Donate the kmart clothing in the nearest Salvation Army clothing donation box. Even better if the tags are still on! They will NEVER KNOW you don't have the toys, keepsake boxes, etc. Believe me, none of this stuff should be displayed on livingroom shelves, they assume baby is playing with it, or you are "saving it for when she's a bit older"......

[Anonymous]

Oh, please, seriously, people???

Are all of your relatives really walking around your house asking for where the Dollar Toy thingy they bought is? Just say vaguely "oh, it's around here somewhere" and move on.

There is NO WAY someone is going through every linen closet, toy box and dining room cabinet looking for the 5 keepsake boxes for teeth. Again "oh, it's around here somewhere" and "Oh, I put that away for when she's older, I didn't want it to get broken" are about the 2 best phrases - memorize and repeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, please, seriously, people???

Are all of your relatives really walking around your house asking for where the Dollar Toy thingy they bought is? Just say vaguely "oh, it's around here somewhere" and move on.

There is NO WAY someone is going through every linen closet, toy box and dining room cabinet looking for the 5 keepsake boxes for teeth. Again "oh, it's around here somewhere" and "Oh, I put that away for when she's older, I didn't want it to get broken" are about the 2 best phrases - memorize and repeat.

I don't know about other PPs, but my ILs have asked on multiple occasions for DD to wear something they bought, or to play with something they bought her.

[Anonymous]

I used to worry the ILs would ask where things went too, but their focus is on the new crap they bring into our house. Is it any wonder the oceans are filling up with plastic? I thought of taking all the tiny plastic toys and putting them in plastic Easter eggs to get rid of them, but that doesn't really solve the problem for the people that will wind up with it. There is no such thing as throwing things "away". It never really goes away. I'm not putting it in a treasure bin only to be pulled out and scattered around the house. Someone on here once said they are not a toy sorting factory. You could also ask your in laws to bring large boxes of cut up fruit instead of toys, and on their way out, ask them if they could drop off huge bags of stuff at Goodwill. I wonder how long they'd keep bringing stuff if they had to carry stuff back out again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to worry the ILs would ask where things went too, but their focus is on the new crap they bring into our house. Is it any wonder the oceans are filling up with plastic? I thought of taking all the tiny plastic toys and putting them in plastic Easter eggs to get rid of them, but that doesn't really solve the problem for the people that will wind up with it. There is no such thing as throwing things "away". It never really goes away. I'm not putting it in a treasure bin only to be pulled out and scattered around the house. Someone on here once said they are not a toy sorting factory. You could also ask your in laws to bring large boxes of cut up fruit instead of toys, and on their way out, ask them if they could drop off huge bags of stuff at Goodwill. I wonder how long they'd keep bringing stuff if they had to carry stuff back out again.

Donate thr small ones to the orize box at your local.elementary school.

Teachers will be very thankful.

[Anonymous]

First, I say thank you for the gift and I tell my son to do the same. We play or use the gift and if we can't use it, we give it away. My MIL likes to give little gifts and I'm not going to hurt her feelings for doing it.

We have also stopped feeling guilty for giving some stuff away and are much happier for it.

[Anonymous]

Another hating on MILs thread. Kids pick up on these parental attitudes very quickly and it negatively impacts relationships with family. Sad for kids, many of whom don't have enough family bonds as it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think there's much you can do, but I feel you, OP. The disgusting consumerism in this country makes me ill. People are obsessed with material things and we're all getting dumber by the minute because of it. Not to mention how it destroys the environment. I always feel that people who buy loads of crap have the emptiest lives.

It's also the generation. Their parents, WWII generation, usually had very little, like, a few toys and candy for Christmas. I don't remember receiving more than a single toy or two from my grandparents. And often, what they gave me was meaningful. I was lucky if they handed me a $5 bill when I was little or a Valentine's Day card. My mother has to go overboard for all holidays. It's nuts. Seems like babyboomers need to go above and beyond. If it's there, they have to buy it. Maybe a lot of them didn't have much as kids? Maybe they are worried their grandchildren will never recognize how wonderful they are?