Protecting money you gift adult kids for a house

[Anonymous]

Trust is the way to go with this one. My FIL gave all my kids a trust. My name is not on it and if anything happens I have no right to it. I am fine with it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My trust is very large. I have a ton of confidence in my marriage of 12 years and three kids. I don't believe he would ever leave- BUT if, say, he cheated you think he gets 1/2 of the money I have in a trust?

Nope. It's not about having a good marriage or not- it's common sense.

I get that but you do have to admit that you don't fully trust him.
Otherwise, you wouldn't say that.
I totally understand, you want insurance.

I think that it's easy to say what you'd do when it isn't an issue for you.

NP here; the "issue" for you is the lack of trust you have in your husband and marriage. PP nailed it.

Okay. You guys know me! I'm busted!

Get back to me when you can talk about your trust funds and what trustees mandate.

You don't get it--there are things more important to some people than money. If someone had told me to choose between my wife and a bajillion dollar trust, I'd have chosen (and continue to choose) my wife every time.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.

We share everything. Why would I keep my inheritance separate?
Never occurred to me.
My DH shares his six figure bonus every year. Should I not share my six figure inheritance?

No, you shouldn't. His stupid decision is his own.

PP's DH's bonus is marital property, whereas PP's inheritance is not marital property unless she chooses to comingle it with marital property.

Presumably PP's parent(s) left the six figure dollar amount to PP and not to PP and her DH.

I would specify in the prenup that income/ bonuses belong to the person who earns them.

Your marriage won't last.

That's okay. I'm protected.

LOL. I'd take the lifelong marriage over your protection any day.

Right? Like money makes up for a broken home. I can't imagine being so blasé about my marriage working.

+1.

[Anonymous]

That's why people comparing 6 figure inheritances are not comparing apples to apples when talking about a large (8 digit millions) trust.

They are very different things.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.

We share everything. Why would I keep my inheritance separate?
Never occurred to me.
My DH shares his six figure bonus every year. Should I not share my six figure inheritance?

No, you shouldn't. His stupid decision is his own.

PP's DH's bonus is marital property, whereas PP's inheritance is not marital property unless she chooses to comingle it with marital property.

Presumably PP's parent(s) left the six figure dollar amount to PP and not to PP and her DH.

I would specify in the prenup that income/ bonuses belong to the person who earns them.

Your marriage won't last.

That's okay. I'm protected.

LOL. I'd take the lifelong marriage over your protection any day.

Right? Like money makes up for a broken home. I can't imagine being so blasé about my marriage working.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had friends over this weekend. We were discussing how expensive housing was becoming in our city. Friend's husband said he can't imagine how our teen kids would be able to buy a home without parental help.
My friend said she is willing to help their kid with a down payment if the hypothetical future spouse signs a prenup or the house is in the parent's name or if the grooms family gifts them the same amount. I thought this was a horrible idea. She was worried money would be lost if they divorce. Seems tit for tat. As if she can demand money from his parents to equalize it.

I think when you give money like that, there is a risk. I would only gift what I am okay with losing if they divorce. When I gift it, it's not mine anymore anyway.

DH and I share everything, including inheritances. They do separate finances.

Not interested in discussing the legal aspects.

Both my sons walked away without a home or money. The bitches got it all. Thank God we waited to give them money. Poetic justice though. Both women ended up losing their homes and living in poverty. One is giving up sex for rent. The other remarried a drunk. Hopefully they won't make the same mistakes twice. Please be a troll - if not you are a rotten human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My trust is very large. I have a ton of confidence in my marriage of 12 years and three kids. I don't believe he would ever leave- BUT if, say, he cheated you think he gets 1/2 of the money I have in a trust?

Nope. It's not about having a good marriage or not- it's common sense.

I get that but you do have to admit that you don't fully trust him.
Otherwise, you wouldn't say that.
I totally understand, you want insurance.

I think that it's easy to say what you'd do when it isn't an issue for you.

NP here; the "issue" for you is the lack of trust you have in your husband and marriage. PP nailed it.

Okay. You guys know me! I'm busted!

Get back to me when you can talk about your trust funds and what trustees mandate.

You don't get it--there are things more important to some people than money. If someone had told me to choose between my wife and a bajillion dollar trust, I'd have chosen (and continue to choose) my wife every time.

Forgive me for being obtuse- but I'm happily married. In what scenario would I have to choose between my trust and my spouse?

Are you in a religion where people are not allowed to be wealthy AND married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My trust is very large. I have a ton of confidence in my marriage of 12 years and three kids. I don't believe he would ever leave- BUT if, say, he cheated you think he gets 1/2 of the money I have in a trust?

Nope. It's not about having a good marriage or not- it's common sense.

I get that but you do have to admit that you don't fully trust him.
Otherwise, you wouldn't say that.
I totally understand, you want insurance.

I think that it's easy to say what you'd do when it isn't an issue for you.

NP here; the "issue" for you is the lack of trust you have in your husband and marriage. PP nailed it.

Okay. You guys know me! I'm busted!

Get back to me when you can talk about your trust funds and what trustees mandate.

You don't get it--there are things more important to some people than money. If someone had told me to choose between my wife and a bajillion dollar trust, I'd have chosen (and continue to choose) my wife every time.

Forgive me for being obtuse- but I'm happily married. In what scenario would I have to choose between my trust and my spouse?

Are you in a religion where people are not allowed to be wealthy AND married?

See the PP who used "your trust funds and what trustees mandate" as some kind of defense for keeping it separated.

[Anonymous]

There doesn't need to be a defense for keeping a trust separated. The law is very clear. Any spouse not willing to sign a pre nup regarding pre marital assets that they have no claim to would not be someone I would marry.

So if your wife wouldn't sign a pre nup as it relates to your non existent trust I guess the trust issues would be on her side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There doesn't need to be a defense for keeping a trust separated. The law is very clear. Any spouse not willing to sign a pre nup regarding pre marital assets that they have no claim to would not be someone I would marry.

So if your wife wouldn't sign a pre nup as it relates to your non existent trust I guess the trust issues would be on her side.

Once again, not everyone places money above marriage the way you do.

By arguing that your spouse has no right to things you brought into the marriage, you've already made it clear that your priority is protecting your financial well-being above all.

You underscore that by stating you wouldn't marry anyone who didn't agree to be subservient to your bachelor(ette) bank account.

I wouldn't marry anyone who asked for any kind of prenup, never mind one involving "marital assets that they have no claim to."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There doesn't need to be a defense for keeping a trust separated. The law is very clear. Any spouse not willing to sign a pre nup regarding pre marital assets that they have no claim to would not be someone I would marry.

So if your wife wouldn't sign a pre nup as it relates to your non existent trust I guess the trust issues would be on her side.

Once again, not everyone places money above marriage the way you do.

By arguing that your spouse has no right to things you brought into the marriage, you've already made it clear that your priority is protecting your financial well-being above all.

You underscore that by stating you wouldn't marry anyone who didn't agree to be subservient to your bachelor(ette) bank account.

I wouldn't marry anyone who asked for any kind of prenup, never mind one involving "marital assets that they have no claim to."

AGREE

[Anonymous]

Hey- if you don't believe in protecting yourself we simply have different risk tolerance. While I got marrried with every intent to stay married, and am happily married- I'm not willing to lose money that my parents entrusted me with because I picked the wrong guy to marry. Divorce happens.

[Anonymous]

People who equate prenups with lack of trust have no financial sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.

We share everything. Why would I keep my inheritance separate?
Never occurred to me.
My DH shares his six figure bonus every year. Should I not share my six figure inheritance?

No, you shouldn't. His stupid decision is his own.

PP's DH's bonus is marital property, whereas PP's inheritance is not marital property unless she chooses to comingle it with marital property.

Presumably PP's parent(s) left the six figure dollar amount to PP and not to PP and her DH.

I would specify in the prenup that income/ bonuses belong to the person who earns them.

What was your spouse's reaction when you presented this brilliant idea?b

[Anonymous]

LOL.