Have your views on monogamy changed since you have been married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I'd be more forgiving if dh hit me than if he cheated. No, I have never been abused as a child in any way or been in an abusive relationship. Monogamy for ME - I don't care about others' relationships - is extremely important. Now if I didn't regularly have sex and was otherwise not "putting out" I'd probably understand the desire for a spouse to get intimacy elsewhere.

Interesting.

Cheating is not a deal breaker for me, but if DH so much as slapped me, and I was sure he had all his faculties when he did so, I will be out the door. No questions asked. And I consider my marriage to be perfect.

Me too. This has always been my dealbreaker. Hasn't been tested, thankfully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting last post. But that majority of men just slip up once or twice may explain the work conference/ ONS situation. What about a long term affair?

Define long term.

[Anonymous]

Interesting thread. Pre-marriage, I would have said I would never tolerate infidelity. Ten years into marriage, I can see myself staying in a marriage if my husband cheated and was remorseful (but don't tell him that)! The reasons: he is an awesome husband and an awesome dad. Granted. cheating would make him a decidedly less awesome husband, but after 10 years of wonderful marriage and 7 years of wonderful co-parenting, I am not sure I could throw all of that away so easily. Is that crazy? FWIW, I don't think my husband has, would, or will cheat, but I'm sure everyone says that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting thread. Pre-marriage, I would have said I would never tolerate infidelity. Ten years into marriage, I can see myself staying in a marriage if my husband cheated and was remorseful (but don't tell him that)! The reasons: he is an awesome husband and an awesome dad. Granted. cheating would make him a decidedly less awesome husband, but after 10 years of wonderful marriage and 7 years of wonderful co-parenting, I am not sure I could throw all of that away so easily. Is that crazy? FWIW, I don't think my husband has, would, or will cheat, but I'm sure everyone says that.

I feel the same about my wife. She is awesome in many ways, and we co-parent and have fun and sometimes have great sex together. If she cheated, I would work past it.

Divorce seems like such a massive headache. Who needs that.

It's like the "who would you choose" thread: The parent of your child who you have fun with and share life experiences and sex and love but who wasn't faithful, or the new person who has kids of her own and you don't see yours half the time and the kids are in therapy but at least the new girlfriend seems to be faithful, so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting last post. But that majority of men just slip up once or twice may explain the work conference/ ONS situation. What about a long term affair?

Define long term.

ONS is obvious. Few flings with the same partner would be short-term.

Long term then would be longer in duration and perhaps start being more about emotion than lust.