I'm a professor at a 4-year college/university... ask me anything!

[Anonymous]

I have horrible learning disabilities that are both many, and severe. College is REALLY hard for me. I show up on time, attend every class (even if I have to walk out to cry in the middle and walk back in five minutes later), write down everything you write on the board (and anything you say "write this down"), attempt all homework (often with huge blanks because I didn't understand what to do or did, but had no idea how to do it), participate in class (I ask great questions), and attempt all papers/projects assigned.

But what happens is that either, you taught 100% of the material and I only understood 34% of it so that's what my grade should be and I'm super excited to have actually learned things I didn't know before, or I THINK I understood only to find out my brain went off in the wrong direction and I missed it completely.

As an experiment, I once took the same class four times in a row, to see if "leaving myself back" would help. I still failed. In some classes I can get a D or even a low C. It helps when I can go to office hours and basically get the teacher to re-teach whatever was taught in the class, again, just to me, and I can repeat what I understand, they can correct me, and we go bit by bit. So for a one hour class, I basically need 3 hours of one on one time with the person teaching it.

Do you think I should just become a hairdresser or bartender or something?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Salary questions... Crass much? Obviously not a lot. Roughly 70k. However, I literally did not have to answer a single e-mail or deal with a single human being on anything work related from May 1st - September 1st. I also have a fully paid sabbatical next year. The salary isn't great. But, with all the free time and consulting money available (for example, writing think tank reports, honoraria) it's a great gig for someone like me who isn't interested in having children. Although I wish I could bank the tuition benefit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have horrible learning disabilities that are both many, and severe. College is REALLY hard for me. I show up on time, attend every class (even if I have to walk out to cry in the middle and walk back in five minutes later), write down everything you write on the board (and anything you say "write this down"), attempt all homework (often with huge blanks because I didn't understand what to do or did, but had no idea how to do it), participate in class (I ask great questions), and attempt all papers/projects assigned.

But what happens is that either, you taught 100% of the material and I only understood 34% of it so that's what my grade should be and I'm super excited to have actually learned things I didn't know before, or I THINK I understood only to find out my brain went off in the wrong direction and I missed it completely.

As an experiment, I once took the same class four times in a row, to see if "leaving myself back" would help. I still failed. In some classes I can get a D or even a low C. It helps when I can go to office hours and basically get the teacher to re-teach whatever was taught in the class, again, just to me, and I can repeat what I understand, they can correct me, and we go bit by bit. So for a one hour class, I basically need 3 hours of one on one time with the person teaching it.

Do you think I should just become a hairdresser or bartender or something?

To quote the estimable Judge Smails in the classic movie, Caddyshack, "The World Needs Ditch Diggers Too."

[Anonymous]

I'm also a professor, but a decade (maybe 15 years) older than the OP. I've mellowed A LOT. Life experience has taught me that sometimes the crazy excuses are real, and, in any case, very little changes if you decide to believe the students.

You ask for documentation of the emergency in the case of requests for an exception to policy (like missing a final exam), and you create classroom grading policies that are fair to those who don't let their personal stuff interfere with class (and lots of students have personal stuff), but still give students a reason to do the work, even if it's late.

I also have a conversation with students who are missing a lot of class early on to try to resolve the issue in a reasonable way. Sometimes that's not possible, because I am not going to reschedule all the tests and all the lectures for my office hours, but often it is possible.

I've started enjoying teaching a lot more since I've started thinking of my more challenging students as people and not inconveniences.

And the writing doesn't get better. The best writing I encountered was at Catholic University in DC, where a lot of the students came from the Catholic School system. But I've encountered bad writing everywhere, even at high-ranked schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm also a professor, but a decade (maybe 15 years) older than the OP. I've mellowed A LOT. Life experience has taught me that sometimes the crazy excuses are real, and, in any case, very little changes if you decide to believe the students.

You ask for documentation of the emergency in the case of requests for an exception to policy (like missing a final exam), and you create classroom grading policies that are fair to those who don't let their personal stuff interfere with class (and lots of students have personal stuff), but still give students a reason to do the work, even if it's late.

I also have a conversation with students who are missing a lot of class early on to try to resolve the issue in a reasonable way. Sometimes that's not possible, because I am not going to reschedule all the tests and all the lectures for my office hours, but often it is possible.

I've started enjoying teaching a lot more since I've started thinking of my more challenging students as people and not inconveniences.

And the writing doesn't get better. The best writing I encountered was at Catholic University in DC, where a lot of the students came from the Catholic School system. But I've encountered bad writing everywhere, even at high-ranked schools.

I will never budge on this, PP. College is not compulsory education. This isn't "Teach for America." You're here because you want to be here. Not. my. job. to. hand. hold.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe that you feel that you know what it is like to have a heavy period. Mine is horrible. I have to accommodate it in some way. I work from home and hide as much as possible. The pain is unbearable to the point that I moan frequently. I double up, and still have to change at least once an hour. Luckily, the bad part only lasts about 12 hours, so it doesn't hit on a work day every month, but when it does, there is absolutely no way that I could work. Then again, I think a doctor's note would be necessary to miss an exam.

Don't tell women to go on the pill!!!!! That is not your decision. There are many reasons why someone may not want to, including that the hormones make some people crazy, and some people actually want to have children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Best excuse? Girl tells me she has a heavy period and can't take the exam. GTFO. Take an Advil hunny.

Yeah - don't be so quick to judge health excuses. My mother had *heavy* periods, and couldn't do anything those days. Whens he was that age, she didn't know there was anything you could do about it. I know some kids will try everything, but there really are wacky health things out there.

+1, my cramps are so bad I don't leave the house for a day or two. I tried everything and at best it just takes the edge off things. Its horrible. Glad you were not my professor.

So your entire adult life you've stayed home from work once a month? I find that hard to believe. If it's that bad you go on the pill or get a doctor's note, double up on tampons/pads, etc. . We all know girls/women who will use this as an excuse because they think nobody will question it.

NP here. It can take a while to figure out the right treatment regimen for heavy periods, especially if there is a complicating factor like endometriosis. I do not have endo, but I did suffer from really heavy periods when I was younger to the point where in college I would sometimes pass out from the pain. Particularly at college age, women's cycles may still be settling down, and they may not yet have figured out what works for them. I don't know what your student's issue was, but it's completely possible she was telling the truth. Not the least of which it would be so mortifying to tell a young male professor about my period that I honestly can't imagine doing so unless it was a real concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe that you feel that you know what it is like to have a heavy period. Mine is horrible. I have to accommodate it in some way. I work from home and hide as much as possible. The pain is unbearable to the point that I moan frequently. I double up, and still have to change at least once an hour. Luckily, the bad part only lasts about 12 hours, so it doesn't hit on a work day every month, but when it does, there is absolutely no way that I could work. Then again, I think a doctor's note would be necessary to miss an exam.

Don't tell women to go on the pill!!!!! That is not your decision. There are many reasons why someone may not want to, including that the hormones make some people crazy, and some people actually want to have children.

Look lady, if this student had been a model citizen okay. But when you've got a kid that constantly blows off class, doesn't turn in assignments, then e-mails 20 minutes before an exam starts saying a period is too heavy to take the exam... color me skeptical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Best excuse? Girl tells me she has a heavy period and can't take the exam. GTFO. Take an Advil hunny.

Yeah - don't be so quick to judge health excuses. My mother had *heavy* periods, and couldn't do anything those days. Whens he was that age, she didn't know there was anything you could do about it. I know some kids will try everything, but there really are wacky health things out there.

+1, my cramps are so bad I don't leave the house for a day or two. I tried everything and at best it just takes the edge off things. Its horrible. Glad you were not my professor.

So your entire adult life you've stayed home from work once a month? I find that hard to believe. If it's that bad you go on the pill or get a doctor's note, double up on tampons/pads, etc. . We all know girls/women who will use this as an excuse because they think nobody will question it.

NP here. It can take a while to figure out the right treatment regimen for heavy periods, especially if there is a complicating factor like endometriosis. I do not have endo, but I did suffer from really heavy periods when I was younger to the point where in college I would sometimes pass out from the pain. Particularly at college age, women's cycles may still be settling down, and they may not yet have figured out what works for them. I don't know what your student's issue was, but it's completely possible she was telling the truth. Not the least of which it would be so mortifying to tell a young male professor about my period that I honestly can't imagine doing so unless it was a real concern.

There is a protocol for dealing with health situations. Students can inform the health center and they communicate to professors. I've had many responsible students take that approach. When they do, I happily work around their difficulty and help them out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Salary questions... Crass much? Obviously not a lot. Roughly 70k. However, I literally did not have to answer a single e-mail or deal with a single human being on anything work related from May 1st - September 1st. I also have a fully paid sabbatical next year. The salary isn't great. But, with all the free time and consulting money available (for example, writing think tank reports, honoraria) it's a great gig for someone like me who isn't interested in having children. Although I wish I could bank the tuition benefit.

Crass? Do you understand the concept of an ask me anything thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Salary questions... Crass much? Obviously not a lot. Roughly 70k. However, I literally did not have to answer a single e-mail or deal with a single human being on anything work related from May 1st - September 1st. I also have a fully paid sabbatical next year. The salary isn't great. But, with all the free time and consulting money available (for example, writing think tank reports, honoraria) it's a great gig for someone like me who isn't interested in having children. Although I wish I could bank the tuition benefit.

Crass? Do you understand the concept of an ask me anything thread?

DCUM is new money central. Just because you can ask anything, doesn't mean it's tactful.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a woman (or man?) in your life? You sound a bit... pent up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a woman (or man?) in your life? You sound a bit... pent up.

Not at the moment. Am dating. Was in a long term relationship for a while. Not pent up, just have pet peeves like anyone else. People who inconvenience other people is one of them. Mindlessness is another. It's not hard to "work hard and play by the rules."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Salary questions... Crass much? Obviously not a lot. Roughly 70k. However, I literally did not have to answer a single e-mail or deal with a single human being on anything work related from May 1st - September 1st. I also have a fully paid sabbatical next year. The salary isn't great. But, with all the free time and consulting money available (for example, writing think tank reports, honoraria) it's a great gig for someone like me who isn't interested in having children. Although I wish I could bank the tuition benefit.

PP here. AMA threads....defensive much?

When you say ask me anything.... it means anything. And typically means people can ask questions they normally wouldn't in real life. Calm down, OP. 70 is good and your long drawn out explanation makes you pretty defensive.

[Anonymous]

Do you wear professor jackets with little leather patches on the elbows? Smoke a pipe? Wear a bow tie?