My daughter is the only white girl in her grade: ask me anything

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How much diversity is there in the teaching ranks? How many white kids in the other grades?



This is actually something I'm not thrilled with. There is very limited diversity in the teaching ranks. We have a lot of young white women teaching. I was complaining about this to my father (who teaches in a university department that sees a lot of elementary education majors), and he basically told me that it wasn't fair to hold the school accountable for the demographics of the profession.

The lower grades are more diverse. The upper grades are diverse in that they have decent splits of African American kids, Latino kids, and a small but not insignificant population of Asian kids of various extractions, but no white kids above first as far as I'm aware.


Which school is this? I'm married to a Vietnamese man so I can only guess -- PG county and the only Asians are Vietnamese.


FtWashington in PGC has a large Philippine population.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is she aware that she is "different"?


Sometimes. She is aware that she does not speak Spanish like many of her friends. She also knows that she has different hair. Other than that, no.


Aren't latino's white?

Did anyone come to her birthday party?


NP. Yes, Zoe Saldana, Jimmy Smits, Rosario Dawson, Rosie Perez, and LaLa Anthony are white.


Race and ethnicity 101 time. Latinos can be multiple races. You have Latinos from Spain who look basically white; and you have Latinos from the DR who look basically black; and you have Latinos from Mexico who look indigenous. The new trend in collecting data on Latinos is to let them indicate their Latino ethnicity and chose a race or nationality as well.


OP here. I agree with this. I also think that many people are concerned about "cultural differences" (whatever that means to them), and when you are talking about the differences between my white Midwestern family and my DD's best friend's Honduran family, there are a number of cultural differences (including language, which I mentioned) that are not capture by "Latinos ARE white."
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She is your oldest, I assume?


She is an only child. Why do you ask?


Because your responses show. Just wanted to confirm.


Okay. I don't see how it's relevant. I have one child. I will likely not have another child for medical reasons. How does this relate to my experience?


It's relevant because at some point (soon) you will have to deal with the difference between your idealistic views and the reality of what your DD will have to deal with.


I don't see how that relates to how many kids I have. Does your experience suddenly change because you have 2 kids in a school instead of 1?


No, I think once you go thru the process with older one, your views change. When you have only one young kid like you, your views are still naive/innocent. Don't get me wrong. I think what you are doing is great but the reality can be harsh for your DD later.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How much diversity is there in the teaching ranks? How many white kids in the other grades?



This is actually something I'm not thrilled with. There is very limited diversity in the teaching ranks. We have a lot of young white women teaching. I was complaining about this to my father (who teaches in a university department that sees a lot of elementary education majors), and he basically told me that it wasn't fair to hold the school accountable for the demographics of the profession.

The lower grades are more diverse. The upper grades are diverse in that they have decent splits of African American kids, Latino kids, and a small but not insignificant population of Asian kids of various extractions, but no white kids above first as far as I'm aware.


Which school is this? I'm married to a Vietnamese man so I can only guess -- PG county and the only Asians are Vietnamese.


Maybe it's Truesdell? 60% Latino, 30% Black, 2% Asian, 1% White.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She is your oldest, I assume?


She is an only child. Why do you ask?


Because your responses show. Just wanted to confirm.


Okay. I don't see how it's relevant. I have one child. I will likely not have another child for medical reasons. How does this relate to my experience?


It's relevant because at some point (soon) you will have to deal with the difference between your idealistic views and the reality of what your DD will have to deal with.


I don't see how that relates to how many kids I have. Does your experience suddenly change because you have 2 kids in a school instead of 1?


No, I think once you go thru the process with older one, your views change. When you have only one young kid like you, your views are still naive/innocent. Don't get me wrong. I think what you are doing is great but the reality can be harsh for your DD later.


Ok, so share your experience with your older child, because you clearly have some?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Do you use DCPS aftercare? How is it?

Do you have a longer term plan for jr high and high school?

Are the Latino kids pretty stable or do they move in and out a lot?


We do. It's okay. It was better when we had a full time aftercare coordinator, but we don't anymore. DD mostly likes it because her best friend is not in her class, so aftercare is when they get to hang out. She also did homework in aftercare last year, in collaboration with other kids, which she liked.

Honestly, I don't really have a plan for middle or high school. If she was going into middle school now, I'd be scrambling like everyone else. I know people love Deal, but it really just feels like such a huge school to me. We are also not in bounds for Deal, so it's a moot point. If we were trying to get into middle school right now, I'd probably shoot for Hardy. As for high school, that I really don't know. I'm not ruling out private school for both middle and high school. I'm also not ruling out that DH and I will leave the area all together, but we don't currently have plans.

I haven't seen the instability you describe in the Latino community. If anything, I see a lot of multi-kid families going all the way through our school. We have had some come in over the past couple of years, but they're not coming in and out like you describe.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I'm sitting here trying to guess the school. Anyone want to take a shot? Cleveland, Powell or BMPV? I'm sure we have parents on here who attend all of these schools to know this information.

Or is it MMB?


It's not those three schools, no way could you be the only white kid in a room for multiple years.
Anonymous
OP, thank you so much for sharing. This is very interesting.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She is your oldest, I assume?


She is an only child. Why do you ask?


Because your responses show. Just wanted to confirm.


Okay. I don't see how it's relevant. I have one child. I will likely not have another child for medical reasons. How does this relate to my experience?


It's relevant because at some point (soon) you will have to deal with the difference between your idealistic views and the reality of what your DD will have to deal with.


I don't see how that relates to how many kids I have. Does your experience suddenly change because you have 2 kids in a school instead of 1?


No, I think once you go thru the process with older one, your views change. When you have only one young kid like you, your views are still naive/innocent. Don't get me wrong. I think what you are doing is great but the reality can be harsh for your DD later.


OP here. I fully expect that my views on any number of things will change as I (and DD) get older and have more and different life experiences. At this time, I have no reason to believe that reality will be any harsher for my DD than anyone else's.

It seems like people think that a kid's school experience is the sum total of their social interactions, particularly with regard to race. DD hangs out with plenty of little white kids - just not at school. If anything, I think her experience of going to a school where she's not in the majority racially or ethically will be good for her. Her dad went to a school where there were few white kids (he's white) and he does not seem to have suffered any adverse effects.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm sitting here trying to guess the school. Anyone want to take a shot? Cleveland, Powell or BMPV? I'm sure we have parents on here who attend all of these schools to know this information.

Or is it MMB?


It's not those three schools, no way could you be the only white kid in a room for multiple years.


It's not any of those schools. But it's totally possible. 3 classes of 20 kids each = 60 kids per grade. If you have 3 white kids in a grade, it's totally possible that they could get put in different classes all years.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She is your oldest, I assume?


She is an only child. Why do you ask?


Because your responses show. Just wanted to confirm.


Okay. I don't see how it's relevant. I have one child. I will likely not have another child for medical reasons. How does this relate to my experience?


It's relevant because at some point (soon) you will have to deal with the difference between your idealistic views and the reality of what your DD will have to deal with.


I don't see how that relates to how many kids I have. Does your experience suddenly change because you have 2 kids in a school instead of 1?


No, I think once you go thru the process with older one, your views change. When you have only one young kid like you, your views are still naive/innocent. Don't get me wrong. I think what you are doing is great but the reality can be harsh for your DD later.


Ok, so share your experience with your older child, because you clearly have some?


Yes I do... but this is your thread. I am not interested in sharing my experience.
Anonymous
My kids are in an MCPS school where it would be totally possible to be the only white kid in your class in 4th or 5th grade (due to attrition + HGC admissions).

I wish you the best, OP. I hope your daughter's experience continues to be good!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, thank you so much for sharing. This is very interesting.


You're welcome. I got really frustrated with the other thread because I think that often, people are borrowing trouble. Was it hard coming to a school where we looked different? Yes, of course. It was hard sending my baby girl to school at all, particularly because elementary school scheduling and community seems easier if you stay at home and are actually able to participate in school events. The school community (parents, teachers, students) trust you more if they know you, and it's hard to get known if you're not able to be around.

I have also said on this forum before that schools with established communities, including a lot of siblings, know that white people will "try" a school and then leave if it's "not a good fit." Sometimes they are less than inclined to audition to be your friend. I have actually seen myself feel that way about some of the new families who come in with young white children expressing reservations about staying long term without any input other than their assumptions about the school.

I have to go to a meeting for an hour - not ignoring questions, just have to do some work!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She is your oldest, I assume?


She is an only child. Why do you ask?


Because your responses show. Just wanted to confirm.


Okay. I don't see how it's relevant. I have one child. I will likely not have another child for medical reasons. How does this relate to my experience?


It's relevant because at some point (soon) you will have to deal with the difference between your idealistic views and the reality of what your DD will have to deal with.


I don't see how that relates to how many kids I have. Does your experience suddenly change because you have 2 kids in a school instead of 1?


No, I think once you go thru the process with older one, your views change. When you have only one young kid like you, your views are still naive/innocent. Don't get me wrong. I think what you are doing is great but the reality can be harsh for your DD later.


Ok, so share your experience with your older child, because you clearly have some?


Yes I do... but this is your thread. I am not interested in sharing my experience.


OP here. I wasn't the poster who asked you to share your experience. I am interested in how you think things may change, but if you are not interested in sharing, that is obviously fine.
Anonymous
We were in the same position for 4 years except with a son. We ultimately did leave due to a need for a different level of instruction for our child, which the school couldn't provide because they were fighting an uphill battle to raise test scores to proficient.

The majority of the kids were learning at level, many below level, and many were ELL. The lack of academic diversity at a higher level in DC among lower performing schools is largely due to the demographic make-up of our city and systemic, generation poverty, which in DC just so happens to affect mostly "brown" people. Not fair, not cool, not sure what to do about it.

If they omitted ELL students' test scores from being included in school averages, I think it would go a long way in showing a truer reflection of how classrooms are working (because many ELL students are pulled out for separate/supplemental instruction that they need). That may attract more families invested in academics, and that may further increase scores and resources that these schools desperately need.

Didn't mean to hijack! Sorry!
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