must we maintain a relationship with my MIL

[Anonymous]

Keep the chaos out of your life if you want but if your husband wants to have a relationship with her that's totally up to him. You owe her nothing.

[Anonymous]

I appreciate the suggestions to let my husband handle this. A big part of my problem is I handle the weekly phone calls, which doesn't sound like much, but if you're trying to schedule with someone with severe anxiety, no sense of time, and a loose grip on reality it's a chore. Sometimes she calls in the middle of the night on other days crying and asking why we haven't called yet. If I could turn his relationship with his mother over to him that would help.

Why can't he establish appropriate boundaries for the calls? The time for the call is Sunday at X o'clock. Oh, that doesn't work? Sorry, mom, we'll have to wait till next week then. If she calls in the middle of the night don't pick up, she can leave a message if it is important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep the chaos out of your life if you want but if your husband wants to have a relationship with her that's totally up to him. You owe her nothing.

+1

We have a similar relationship with my DH's mother. We see her a few times a year and he speaks to her once in a while. Honestly the contact we have is mostly from me encouraging my husband. He claims and seems to truly not want a relationship with her.

Also I had an estranged grandfather growing up (my father's dad) and I don't think it affected me negatively at all. I really didn't care. I had an awesome grandpa and didn't miss anything.

[Anonymous]

As long as it isn't hard on him I'd encourage him to keep in touch, however I wouldn't want our kids involved with any unstable adults-family or otherwise.