Just caught my 14 year old kissing the neighbor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child is a girl, I'd start birth control soon.

If he's a boy, I'd give him condoms even sooner.

The Planned Parenthood answer to everything.

Would you prefer she get pregnant? Or he get an STD? Teaching young teens how to prevent these things is the only solution. If you hate abortion, you should be leading the charge for comprehensive sex ed and easy access to birth control. It is the ONLY thing shown to prevent unwanted pregnancies and thus abortions.

You act like all teens *must* have sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is my child is 14 and the other child is 16. I find that inappropriate enough.

The other concern as pps have hinted at is my child becoming sexually active. 14 is far too young for that.

You need this, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child is a girl, I'd start birth control soon.

If he's a boy, I'd give him condoms even sooner.

The Planned Parenthood answer to everything.

Would you prefer she get pregnant? Or he get an STD? Teaching young teens how to prevent these things is the only solution. If you hate abortion, you should be leading the charge for comprehensive sex ed and easy access to birth control. It is the ONLY thing shown to prevent unwanted pregnancies and thus abortions.

You act like all teens *must* have sex.

Well, no, many don't. Many do. Even the ones who were taught by their parents not to. Would you rather have them protect themselves against teen parenthood and STDs, or not?

--NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child is a girl, I'd start birth control soon.

If he's a boy, I'd give him condoms even sooner.

The Planned Parenthood answer to everything.

Would you prefer she get pregnant? Or he get an STD? Teaching young teens how to prevent these things is the only solution. If you hate abortion, you should be leading the charge for comprehensive sex ed and easy access to birth control. It is the ONLY thing shown to prevent unwanted pregnancies and thus abortions.

You act like all teens *must* have sex.

You are clearly only hearing what you want to hear. If a teen is going to be sexually active, short of actually locking them in the house, there is literally nothing that their parents can do to prevent it. What they CAN do is not freak out about mundane sexual activity like kissing and provide information about birth control to kids who are clearly already exploring, along with conversation about why it is a good idea to wait until they get older to take it any further.

Providing birth control does not CAUSE sexual activity. It prevents sexual activity from having lasting consequences, though.

[Anonymous]

try to remember
the kind of September
when grass was green and oh so mellow

Chill, OP. You sound like a caricature.

Talk to your kid about birth control and being treated well. I assume he's a nice enough kid?

[Anonymous]

kissing.... eeewww A DH here...

When you caught them kissing, did they stop kissing right away, Ie you ssprised them or was it something that you happened upon and they did not notice right away?

I know when my DD has her BF over i don't try to sneak up on them. When They are in the basement playing Xbox or watching a movie i might be a bit heavy footed on the stairs when I come down.

I hate to think about a boy kissing my daughter or having his hands down her pants or under her shirt, but its what I woudl have been doing at that age. FWIW I tried to have sex a couple times in high school in the back of a car but failed miserably (don't ask ) did not loose virginity until 20 in college....

Shesh, I think I played doctor with the neighbor when we were 13...

[Anonymous]

Not kissing until college is weird. I was in 7th grade as were most of my friends. 14 is totally normal, and a 16 year old boy is fine. OP -- you are a prude/geek/whatever you want to call it. Let your DD be a normal girl, and make out with the neighbor. Your reaction ensures that she will sneak around and will NOT tell you when she decides to have sex, which could be in the next few years. Get a grip now.

[Anonymous]

When I saw this topic thread I was outraged to think the op's daughter was being kissed by the 40 year old neighbor--and it turns out that "neighbor" is 16! Op, please calm down and make sure your daughter knows about the facts of life.

I was so tall and old looking at 14 I had adult guys in their 20s hitting on me.

[Anonymous]

And, I only kissed guys (my own age) twice before I went to college and was wayyyy behind everyone else. If you don't get that fun innocent exploration stage when you are in high school, in my case, you never get it. Rethink your stance op, and let your daughter go and have a normal life.

[Anonymous]

OP, your daughter is very aware you think what she did-- which was perfectly normal behavior for a 14 year old -- was "bad". I think you goofed.

You need to talk to your daughter and tell her that you overreacted -- that you weren't prepared to see her kissing a boy so soon and that were taken off guard, but that she did noting wrong. Then, talk to her about her feelings for the boy, her ideas about sex, and what your ground rules are moving forward. I promise you, if you try to prohibit her from being around boys and you ignore talking to her about sex, she is going to go behind your back and will find herself pregnant. Give her ownership of her body -- encourage HER to make the right choices.

[Anonymous]

Kissing at age 14 or 16 is not inappropriate behavior.

Op most of all, you want your daughter to be empowered. Strong, confident women make much better choices. Age appropriate choices. Every step of the way. Developmentally appropriate choices. Shaming her re: her sexuality is a horrible way to go.

[Anonymous]

You also probably want her to have this type of first experience in a safe place like your home. She knows she has back up if things are not what she wants. I still think it is weird though that you are so shocked at a 14 year old kissing someone. 14 and 16 aren't that far apart and you've never come back to clarify if she is an older 14 and he is a younger 16 that would make your reaction sillier still.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 14 year old neighbor had sex with the 16 year old neighbor. It started with them kissing coming home after school. He'd sneak up on the side of her house and before she'd open the garage they would kiss. A few months later they got caught having sex in the 14 year old's pool one night.

Then the shit hit the fan. 14 year old's stepmother left with her two little kids, 14 year old was sent to some girl's reformatory, daddy sold the house.

16 year old was punished with what I call hard labor. He had to mow the lawn, do the landscape, wash the cars, put the trash out to the road, take care of the dog, had an escort to and from school. Lockdown hard. He's 17 now and is still under the punishment.

Probably wouldn't have been so severe either way but it was a black military family and a white military family. Both fathers were high ranking officers. The police were involved. It was damn ugly.

So yes, it starts with an innocent kiss then next thing you know, the families are falling apart. Nip it now.

The police? Wtf

Both sets of parents sound insane

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 14 year old neighbor had sex with the 16 year old neighbor. It started with them kissing coming home after school. He'd sneak up on the side of her house and before she'd open the garage they would kiss. A few months later they got caught having sex in the 14 year old's pool one night.

Then the shit hit the fan. 14 year old's stepmother left with her two little kids, 14 year old was sent to some girl's reformatory, daddy sold the house.

16 year old was punished with what I call hard labor. He had to mow the lawn, do the landscape, wash the cars, put the trash out to the road, take care of the dog, had an escort to and from school. Lockdown hard. He's 17 now and is still under the punishment.

Probably wouldn't have been so severe either way but it was a black military family and a white military family. Both fathers were high ranking officers. The police were involved. It was damn ugly.

So yes, it starts with an innocent kiss then next thing you know, the families are falling apart. Nip it now.

That is an insane overreaction.

[Anonymous]

Walked in on the neighbor girl blowing my son.