Just caught my 14 year old kissing the neighbor

[Anonymous]

in my high school all the girls dated boys 2 grades above.

[Anonymous]

Kissing? 2 years? I don't understand how either of these would be a problem at the ages listed. Seems reasonable to me.

[Anonymous]

Good for her!!

You're either a troll or made a really terrible decision by reacting this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is my child is 14 and the other child is 16. I find that inappropriate enough.

The other concern as pps have hinted at is my child becoming sexually active. 14 is far too young for that.

Huh? I never dated anyone my age. Boys were always 2-4 years older than I am. My husband is 4 years older than I am and I met him when I was 17. The age difference is completely appropriate. 14 yr olds are sexual beings. If you clamp down on her, you're practically ensuring she'll be more sexually active than she otherwise would, just to rebel against you.

[Anonymous]

I don't fault OPs reaction at all. It's hard for some of us to see 14 year olds as sexual beings. It's a huge parental hurtle to recognize and stomach the transition from child to sexual being-- even if it's innocent kissing, petting, or what have you.

I still adocate for early access to birth control, std vaccines, etc.

[Anonymous]

I think you did the right thing OP. I'm likely in the minority but I get where you're coming from. It would be a good time to talk to her and let her know what's acceptable in your home and how you hope she will act. Nothing wrong with what she did per se but that anything more at this age is something she's not emotionally ready for and now just isn't the time for it, maybe in a few years but 14 is still very young. Just because everyone seems to have done it doesn't mean that it's right for you and your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Apparently I'm a prude.
I didn't have my first kiss till first year of college.

I didn't freak out on them. I just sent the neighbor home under the guise of it being family time. I sent my child to their room to do stuff as I normally do.

I'm trying hard not to freak out

For the pp that asked my child will be 15 in January.

[Anonymous]

I'm with you, OP. The age difference would bother me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you did the right thing OP. I'm likely in the minority but I get where you're coming from. It would be a good time to talk to her and let her know what's acceptable in your home and how you hope she will act. Nothing wrong with what she did per se but that anything more at this age is something she's not emotionally ready for and now just isn't the time for it, maybe in a few years but 14 is still very young. Just because everyone seems to have done it doesn't mean that it's right for you and your daughter.

Thank you for understanding . I know my child wil get there someday. Just not now I don't want them rushing. It's not just about diseases it's emotions too. Emotions a 14 year old isn't ready for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:in my high school all the girls dated boys 2 grades above.

At least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apparently I'm a prude.
I didn't have my first kiss till first year of college.

I didn't freak out on them. I just sent the neighbor home under the guise of it being family time. I sent my child to their room to do stuff as I normally do.

I'm trying hard not to freak out

For the pp that asked my child will be 15 in January.

First year of college is very very late for a first kiss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Neighbor is 16. Sent neighbor home. Sent DC to room.

Not sure how to proceed here.

I don't want to freak out and cause permanent issues, but don't want my 14 year old starting with this stuff yet.

I'm trying so hard not to descend into snark here, but are you for real? This is perfectly normal. Not only that, but it's an opportunity to have a frank conversation about safety, respect and expectations. One that, frankly, is probably overdue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently I'm a prude.
I didn't have my first kiss till first year of college.

I didn't freak out on them. I just sent the neighbor home under the guise of it being family time. I sent my child to their room to do stuff as I normally do.

I'm trying hard not to freak out

For the pp that asked my child will be 15 in January.

First year of college is very very late for a first kiss.

yes, VERY late. be careful. kissing is a normal, healthy stage of development. just because you didn't kiss until college please don't have that impossible expectation for your child. Around 7/8th grade was when i had my first kiss, it's a very exciting thing. don't make it weird or be stern or serious about it.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you not American by birth? If so, you are not alone in thinking it is too early. If you are not an immigrant, then I am wondering why are you surprised?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently I'm a prude.
I didn't have my first kiss till first year of college.

I didn't freak out on them. I just sent the neighbor home under the guise of it being family time. I sent my child to their room to do stuff as I normally do.

I'm trying hard not to freak out

For the pp that asked my child will be 15 in January.

First year of college is very very late for a first kiss.

+1. Yeah that's borderline weird. Op if it makes you feel better I had my first kiss at 15 but didn't have sex until 18.