My husband and my teen son what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who golf (particularly married men with kids who should be spending time with their families) are d-bags for investing so much time in a stupid game.

+1. The rule to never date someone who plays golf, video games, or poker has served me well.

such a GREAT rule!

My husband quit golf when we got married (wasn't really into it anyway)

He was never a poker player

But man, the video games! He only plays three months a year (winter) and only on the weekends and he's a very present father and husband the rest of the time but if I were to point to one issue we have it's those STUPID games in the winter.

[Anonymous]

Guy here. Golf sucks. Like, really really sucks. Does your husband realize he's a boring stereotype with no soul?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men who golf (particularly married men with kids who should be spending time with their families) are d-bags for investing so much time in a stupid game.

Yup, seems to be a similar feeling in my house as well. We have SOOO little time between work, kids events/activities, things that need to get done and my DH seems to think that its perfectly fine for him to be gone an entire weekend day. The times I've worked something like that out I;m getting text's from him asking when I'm getting home. I have to keep reminding him that if he wants to take a day off work to play golf that's fine but right now in the thick of tweens, teens and what not that he needs to find something that is less time consuming. The kids will be out of the house in a few short years and he can play as much as he wants.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your DH needs to realize he is the adult and that means that what he wants to do sometimes comes second. If he can't or won't realize this on his own, then agree with pp that counseling is needed.

There were definitely better activity choices for the afternoon that your DS and DH could have participated in.[/quote]

Agree. My son sees a therapist and my husband went once with me without my son. The therapist very skillfully basically said to him "you need to make your son a priority, and when you have time with him you need to do what HE wants to and if that's playing Pokemon go so be it (or similar) it's like when they're little and you get down on the floor and build block towers over and over - is it what you "want" to do? Likely not but you do it because this is what they need- " he told my husband this is what your son needs right now. I thought it was very good counsel. [/quote]

Yep.

This is exactly the way to go.

Get a therapist for your son to speak with first. Clearly He could use some professional help in dealing with his a$$ of a father. Sounds like you get the problem, but yoU can not handle this solo.

Then have the therapist report back to you and DH. This is often the way it goes. The patent in denial of his/her own problems is willing to listen to a therapist talk about their kid. And that's the entry point for advice to the parent about much-needed mindset shifts or behavioral change.

Of course if the therapist talks with DS and surFaces other issues or conclusions, this can veer in a different direction. But em either way it sounds like your DH is not open to learning from you or DS. So its tine to try a professional.

[Anonymous]

Men who golf (particularly married men with kids who should be spending time with their families) are d-bags for investing so much time in a stupid game.

I'm going to have to disagree with all you golf haters. If the husband works all the time he does deserve some down time to do what he wants. I agree during this time he should have done something both he and his son enjoy. Btw, I'm the wife and I play golf. I think the happy medium is husband gets to golf nine holes instead of 18. It only takes about two hours ( maybe less if you are fast) and that way he can still do things with his son. When I play I go very early before my kids are up. Sometimes I am finished and home before they even are awake!

If you don't like golf I understand but, it isn't stupid and I don't think every golfer is a d-bag for wanting time to themselves.

[Anonymous]

The rule about video games is so spot on.
My H plays very moderately but he has introduced our son to this crap way too early.

[Anonymous]

Boy, some of you sure seem to have issues with golf and video games. Are you sure your objections aren't really about control? Maybe just a little bit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boy, some of you sure seem to have issues with golf and video games. Are you sure your objections aren't really about control? Maybe just a little bit?

It's more about time than anything else. Golfing with the fellas takes men away from their families for the better part of a weekend day. They're choosing the company of their buddies over time with their kids, or their wife. Video games immerse them into a fantasy world, an alternate reality when they'd rather not deal deal with actual reality. Both are means of escape and suck upvaluable time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men who golf (particularly married men with kids who should be spending time with their families) are d-bags for investing so much time in a stupid game.

Amen!!