How do you keep kids out of trouble?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP from above. - I talk to my kids about everything.

My 15 year old son was at his cousin's grad party last Saturday. I had left and my sister-in-law texted me to see if he could have a beer ( no doubt he would have) Hell-to- the -no!!!!!!!! I am not naive and think my teen won't drink but I will never condone it. Home or not, I will not give him MY permission to drink until he is 21.

I have no idea how this is relevant to my post?

[Anonymous]

PP with the 15 year old...what do your probations consist of?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stand by your kids. When another parent calls you and accuses your kid of something, and you don't have the facts, (yes this is a common helicopter parent practice, to sort out every little trouble for their teen,) you take your kid's side. Never put your kids down in front of anybody. If you think/know your kid to be in the wrong, discuss that privately with your kid. Make sure not to be a friend, but don't lash out at your kids if they tell you something, even if it is bad. Then they will never tell you anything even if they need help. Respect goes both ways, I believe, unless you have a major problem teen. I tell my kids, I trust them, and that they should trust me and that I will always be on their side and by their side when they need me. But, I can be very strict as well. It is not the fear like 20 years ago that keeps kids from doing "bad" things, I think it is the fear of losing respect and they might say what they like but they want us to be proud of them.

I think this is somewhat true, but I would say remain neutral. Don't automatically discipline them for doing something wrong of course without all the facts, but don't also assume they've done no wrong. I can't tell you the number of times I've heard stories of parents completely ignoring, blowing off or disbelieving something that another parent is trying to alert them to about their DC because their little snowflake can do no wrong. It's turning a blind eye to something that requires parenting. So more taking the neutral course until you find out all the details.

+1. If your kid is repeatedly accused of being a bully, don't take your kids' side the 9th time there is an accusation but you "don't have the facts." You have to demonstrate in front of your kids that you also will not tolerate that kind of behavior, period, and that it is wrong no matter who is doing it.

I totally agree with the previous poster. We recently dealt with a horrible child who wrote you F you on our wall during a sleepover. While I did not see him do it, it wasn't hard to figure out who did it from the group of children who were in my home. I have seen the poor behavior by this child for over a year.my husband just kept blowing me off about the situation. The damaging of our home was the wake up call for him. We are not the only ones to have issue with this child. I have seen him bully and hit another child. His parents response about the bullying was that other kids tease so it's OK.