My new adult stepsister told me I can't use "her" baby girl name (and it's my #1 choice)

[Anonymous]

How did this topic even come up? Did you ask her or did she just out of the blue announce it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did this topic even come up? Did you ask her or did she just out of the blue announce it?

She brought it up. There was a conversation about what we were naming the baby, I explained that we weren't telling people the name we chose in advance and she freaked and said "It's not [name] is it? Because that's my name!" etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did this topic even come up? Did you ask her or did she just out of the blue announce it?

She brought it up. There was a conversation about what we were naming the baby, I explained that we weren't telling people the name we chose in advance and she freaked and said "It's not [name] is it? Because that's my name!" etc.

So you say, "I'm sorry, we're still not telling people what the name is." Drop it, name baby.

Honestly, I'd be more inclined to name her that name just to piss this chick off.

[Anonymous]

Use the name.

[Anonymous]

Do you really want a top ten name though? Maybe let her have it and deal with the fall out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She who has the baby first, wins.

+1. You win.

[Anonymous]

Your stepsister feels deeply threatened by you and is setting you up to appear to be the family brat. Find a way to mention that you feel pretty manipulated by this to your parent. There is no good outcome here. She is an asshole for doing this to you. Sorry you are stuck with her.

[Anonymous]

I'd use the name and send her a nice note when the baby is born. In addition to what the other PPs suggest you say in your note, I would add that you understand that she might still want to use the name when her child is born.

Honestly, if it is top 10 now, she won't want to use it in a few years when she has kids. Don't sweat it.

But don't get attached to the name just because she wants it. If you will always be thinking about step sister's reaction to the name, or worrying about it at family functions, you might just want to give the name a pass.

[Anonymous]

Use it! Wow, is this unanimity on DCUM?!

I wouldn't say anything to her ahead of time, though. Don't feed into the crazy. Also, less likely she'll freak out/throw shade on a new mother with a newborn. If she did, then she'd really look like the crazy one.

Have the baby, name the baby whatever you want, enjoy your baby. Don't give the SIL another thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did this topic even come up? Did you ask her or did she just out of the blue announce it?

She brought it up. There was a conversation about what we were naming the baby, I explained that we weren't telling people the name we chose in advance and she freaked and said "It's not [name] is it? Because that's my name!" etc.

"The Girls Next Door" episode.

[Anonymous]

This is like calling "shotgun" before you're in view of the car. You can't do it and expect it to stick when (if!?!) you have a baby girl for so many resolve already articulated. You can give her a heads up or not... Your call. I probably wouldn't because I'd be afraid she'd tell everyone the name beforehand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is like calling "shotgun" before you're in view of the car. You can't do it and expect it to stick when (if!?!) you have a baby girl for so many resolve already articulated. You can give her a heads up or not... Your call. I probably wouldn't because I'd be afraid she'd tell everyone the name beforehand.

OMG I love you.

[Anonymous]

This totally happened to my friend but it was her SIL who used the name she had picked out for her daughter (SIL was pregnant and due 5 months before my friend). My friend hadn't told anyone about her name choice and was totally devastated when SIL announced the baby's name after the birth (Sex was a surprise). BUT, my friend totally got over it and found a new name that totally suits her daughter and it al ended well. And MY SIL totally used our girl's name for her DD born a year before ours- again she had NO idea we had already decided a girl's name before even getting pregnant. DH and I were crushed and it took us 4 days after our DD was born to come up with a name. But we got over it too. Use the name you love!

[Anonymous]

I might choose something else, just from feeling like the name is tainted by drama. But you're under no obligation to consider her comment a claim!

[Anonymous]

I did this to my SIL once when I was drunk. Good thing she didn't actually want to use the name. I forgot about it and felt awful when she brought it up later. So, maybe step sister doesn't really mean it/was half joking?