My new adult stepsister told me I can't use "her" baby girl name (and it's my #1 choice)

[Anonymous]

You know what she CAN use? Your middle finger.

Ignore her. Name your kid Olive or Penelope or Sophia or whatever your top ten name is.

[Anonymous]

Use it. And if she says something, say, "you said Evelyn?" I thought you said Trevelyan!"

[Anonymous]

Use the name. I wouldn't give her a heads up ahead of time unless you are planning to tell the rest of the family the name early. If she asks you about it, just tell her you had already decided on that name when she mentioned it to you. She may not have kids, not have a girl, have a girl but her husband vetoes the name etc.

The only time I think 'reserving' a name deserves any kind of consideration is if it is after a close relative who has died. Like, if her grandmother was Mary, and it was your step-mothers mom, maybe I would think about finding another name. But it sounds like she is just crazy.

[Anonymous]

Name the baby Charlotte (that's my guess for what the name is!) and if she ever asks or brings it up you could just say "I know, it was so awkward for me when you told me that because we had the name picked out at that time, but I promised DH I wouldn't tell anyone. Gah! It is such a beautiful name, will be great to have a whole family full of Charlottes one day" or something to that effect.

[Anonymous]

Third marriage for your parent and his/her spouse? Unlikely that she'll be your step sister for long. Use the name and put step sister in her place.

[Anonymous]

I am pretty sensitive about this kind of thing, and even I would say you go ahead and use that name. She sounds nuts. You're having a baby first. She can deal.

[Anonymous]

Use the name and don't think twice about it.

[Anonymous]

Use name. What if she doesn't have baby for 5 years or so, and than has a boy? Goodness use the name, if top 10 already plenty around anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Name the baby Charlotte (that's my guess for what the name is!) and if she ever asks or brings it up you could just say "I know, it was so awkward for me when you told me that because we had the name picked out at that time, but I promised DH I wouldn't tell anyone. Gah! It is such a beautiful name, will be great to have a whole family full of Charlottes one day" or something to that effect.

+100

[Anonymous]

I agree, use the name. I do laugh because I always loved the name Abigail and about 10 years ago my BIL wanted to name their new dog that. My sister said "we can't use that name! My sister wants to use it." At the time, we were about 7 years from having our daughter and, it turned out Abigail was popular enough that we picked a different name.

[Anonymous]

You choose! She sounds crazy!!

[Anonymous]

She's not even pregnant?? Wth hell no she can't claim a name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Name the baby Charlotte (that's my guess for what the name is!) and if she ever asks or brings it up you could just say "I know, it was so awkward for me when you told me that because we had the name picked out at that time, but I promised DH I wouldn't tell anyone. Gah! It is such a beautiful name, will be great to have a whole family full of Charlottes one day" or something to that effect.

This is a gracious way to put it. You could send a note to your parent explaining what you explained to DCUM so that your parent isn't blindsided. You don't need to mention the name. All this is assuming that you had settled on this name 100%.

[Anonymous]

If she ever brought it up I'd say, "I totally thought you were joking! Who calls dibs on names?!" and laugh and walk away.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks for all the advice. As far as I know this is not a family name or one that has any significance to her, other than the fact that she just likes it, so I think we're going to go for it. I just need to tactfully figure out how to tell my parent (closer to the due date) so they are not blindsided. I appreciate everyone weighing in.