How to raise a self-driven child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boundless love and encouragement from a very tight loving family and lots of exposure to ideas, the arts, reading for fun and enjoying life. No pressure to perform. Plus it helps to be born with lots of energy and little need for sleep.

That sounds like a recipe for a free flowing, creative, free spirited child who flits from interest to interest with lots of passion but little direction or goals.

The opposite of a self driven child.

My children were raised this way . The oldest just finished high school at a Big 3 and is on his way to an ivy for college at age 17, he entered K at 4; the youngest is a top athlete and student body President. And yes. Both are creative, love life, have great friends and are driven to attain their own goals. They also are not afraid to challenge authority when they think it is warranted.

I feel kids who are motivated by pushy parents who expect results and structure time and activities do not develop a strong sense of being empowered to set THEIR OWN goals. Passion comes from knowing yourself, not doing something because it is expected or you are trained to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let them be bored, don't structure all their time.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

necessity is the mother of invention

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How to raise a self-driven child who wants to succeed at school and you don't have to nag them to do their homework?

Never ever take an interest in doing their homework with them. Never police their homework, ever.
Seriously, starting in Kindergarten - nothing. It becomes their thing and their life and you're all set.

And yes, we did this with out kids and yes they are productive responsible learners with their own ideas and opinions.
Be ready though because if you do ever change course and say anything about said child's work of school you will get a giant 'F@@K Off' directed your way.
One child gets very good grades at a very good private where those are quite hard to come by.

Yep, this. I was very self-driven as a child and my parents NEVER "checked my homework." Check it for what? If it's wrong, it's wrong and that's how I learned. They didn't even check to see if I had done it--again, the ass chewing by the teacher was my own situation to deal with.

[Anonymous]

This doesn't work that well for kids that don't get the material though and often these days starting in kinder or 1st grade all the work is supposed to be original with a lot of individual writing. Gone are the days when there is just one right answer to anything other than in math and even math nowadays has kids writing explanations starting in 1st or second. And also gone are the days when teachers chew out kids for not completing homework. Instead the teacher will write something like "great start" with no assurance that they'll ever teach the child how to get all the way to the finish line. So the children aren't really receiving consequences for not finishing their work.

[Anonymous]

Amazingly our child who rarely fails and has been gifted since birth is much more self driven than our child who routinely fails and has so since birth. There's no magic solution that we can find. One expects to succeed after numerous successes and the other expects to fail after numerous failures.