Picked on for being smart

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't heard of kids getting picked on for being smart nowadays. It's a badge of honor to be smart now. Kids get picked on for other things.

This. Its no longer Welcome Back Cotter. Its not the late 1970s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one got picked on for being smart at my public school (one DCUM would turn up their noses at for sure). The smart, socially awkward kids got picked on; the smart, socially savvy kids were popular. Getting bad grades or being in remedial classes was very uncool.

This is reassuring! Thanks. Different from my own experience though.

It depends on how "smart" the kid is though. If you are taking bout an above average mostly A's and some B's or even all A's, but they work for the grades and are into other things that most kids can relate to, that is different from a truly brilliant child who really sees things differently and things seem really easy to them. A really gifted child does have a hard time truly fitting in because they notice more things around them and process information differently. It doesn't mean that they will seem awkward (though some do) but they won't usually be the most popular "cool"kid. I'm ok with that.(sorry for typos)

[Anonymous]

"It depends on how "smart" the kid is though. If you are taking bout an above average mostly A's and some B's or even all A's, but they work for the grades and are into other things that most kids can relate to, that is different from a truly brilliant child who really sees things differently and things seem really easy to them. A really gifted child does have a hard time truly fitting in because they notice more things around them and process information differently. It doesn't mean that they will seem awkward (though some do) but they won't usually be the most popular "cool"kid. I'm ok with that.(sorry for typos) "

Exactly. But in my experience, my gifted 5th grader views being considered a "nerd" as a social kiss of death, and avoids doing extra credit and other additional work because of it. This is at a "good" school with lots of smart, achieving kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:was he picked up for "acting white"?

He is white. (Most of his classmates are not). He hasn't been picked on yet. Socially he does very well. So far. I can only assume that all the posters stating that this does not happen or that smart kids are a dime a dozen go to different types of schools. My child definitely stands out (a lot - he's several grade levels ahead e.g. about two in math and three-four in reading) and the other kids definitely notice.

Perhaps, but I honestly think you're over thinking this and likely thinking too highly of your own child. My kid with a very, very high IQ fits in just fine...but he's humble and has no idea how bright he is. He acts like a normal kid with other kids but with sprinklings of advanced vocab or questions or humor.

Thanks! I hope so. My concern is partly from my own experience, though I wasn't by any means as academically advanced as my child appears to be. By 12 being smart was not considered cool and I learned to lie about my grades or pretend I hadn't done my homework. But much earlier than that I was picked out and given nicknames related to my "brains" (not mean in itself, but ultimately it became negative). As much as we praise him for effort not intellect, the kids at school very quickly labeled him as "smart" or "genius" which then becomes part of your identity and an expectation you have to live up to.

OP, your son sounds like he is in a similar situation to my DD. She's always seemed to have an easy time fitting in socially, and has always had plenty of friends, and although kids would sometimes comment on how she knew things they didn't, it wasn't negative. In 1st grade she was pulled out to go into a 2nd grade class for part of each day, and that seemed to work fine for her socially as well. It seemed like it was around the second semester this year (2nd grade) that some kids in her class were teasing her or giving her a hard time for being "smart". I don't think it has really impacted her friendships, but its something that she is struggling with a lot more now and never seemed to be an issue previously.

I'm kind of side-eyeing a lot of the previous commentators who talk about it not being "smart" kids who get picked on but "know-it-alls". Kids this age notice differences and start to use those differences as a reason to tease and pick. It doesn't take the "smart" kid showing off for their differences to be noticed. I don't really know what the solution is, though, other than I don't want her to feel like she has to hide who she is so that she can fit in.

Anyhow, I'm not sure this is helpful, but I wanted to share that you aren't crazy for thinking about this as something that might be an issue, despite what some other posters have said.