Picked on for being smart

[Anonymous]

My kids' school is jam packed with very smart kids. No one picks on them for that.

[Anonymous]

No one got picked on for being smart at my public school (one DCUM would turn up their noses at for sure). The smart, socially awkward kids got picked on; the smart, socially savvy kids were popular. Getting bad grades or being in remedial classes was very uncool.

[Anonymous]

My oldest DD is very smart and has always had amazing grades. No one has ever picked on her for it and she is now a junior in high school in this area. In my experience, it seems to be that the kids who are not motivated and the kids that are socially awkward get picked on. I have also noticed that most kids today are more competitive academically and want to do well in school which was not the case when I was a kid.

[Anonymous]

Kids can get picked on for being smart, dumb, tall, short, fat, thin, blonde...It is the kids' personalities that make them the bully or the victim. The topic of the picking is just an excuse, if it wasn't one thing it would be another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher and I think it is a bit different now in terms of grades. If students know other kids grades now, it is often because the student shared his or her grade. I'm not allowed to post grades with names on them. I remember our grades in school being listed for all of the world to see. But by 2nd grade or do, most kids know who the smart ones are. It depends on the environment if kids pick on each other for good grades. At my Title 1 schools, boys would be picked on for good grades starting in 3rd and definitely by 4th grade.

Thanks. OP here. So far he's done very well navigating the social issues (much better than me in similar circumstances) but as an adult I can see that his endless enthusiasm for learning and his (way beyond his years) interests could easily be seen as nerdy as he gets older. This is a kid that the other kids have noticed is different since he was three when they started commenting that he was a "genius" (this is a problem). No grades at his school so that won't be an issue but the kids know who to ask for an answer and he's been labeled as smart by the other kids for a long time now. This is public school, not title one but not full of high achieving rich kids either. He does the know it all thing with me and it's completely obnoxious but I think he keeps it in check at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one got picked on for being smart at my public school (one DCUM would turn up their noses at for sure). The smart, socially awkward kids got picked on; the smart, socially savvy kids were popular. Getting bad grades or being in remedial classes was very uncool.

This is reassuring! Thanks. Different from my own experience though.

[Anonymous]

Only in America. This would never happen in Korea, India, Japan.

[Anonymous]

Have your kid say "Oh yeah, well you're gonna work for me one day."

[Anonymous]

Hasn't happened yet for my fifth grader who skipped a year and is profoundly gifted. It does happen, however, to the kids who pretend to be smarter or cooler than they are, or who don't have the social savvy to know when to shut up. Someone who is secure in who they are is less likely to get picked on than a secure kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only in America. This would never happen in Korea, India, Japan.

I didn't grow up in America and it certainly happened in Europe.

[Anonymous]

was he picked up for "acting white"?

[Anonymous]

My son is a very bright 7th grader, straight A's and in GT. He's also an athlete in two sports, bilingual, and well rounded. He's never been picked on for being smart. He's a well liked kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:was he picked up for "acting white"?

He is white. (Most of his classmates are not). He hasn't been picked on yet. Socially he does very well. So far. I can only assume that all the posters stating that this does not happen or that smart kids are a dime a dozen go to different types of schools. My child definitely stands out (a lot - he's several grade levels ahead e.g. about two in math and three-four in reading) and the other kids definitely notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:was he picked up for "acting white"?

He is white. (Most of his classmates are not). He hasn't been picked on yet. Socially he does very well. So far. I can only assume that all the posters stating that this does not happen or that smart kids are a dime a dozen go to different types of schools. My child definitely stands out (a lot - he's several grade levels ahead e.g. about two in math and three-four in reading) and the other kids definitely notice.

I think it depends on the culture of the peers that your child is surrounded with.

Being smart is celebrated at my kids school (and the school I went to as a child) and this trickles down from what the parents expect, and the pressure they put on the school and the kids. I choose to live where I live because I want my kid surrounded by peers, teachers, and adults who have high expectations. At my kids school, I'd be more worried if my child had a learning disability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:was he picked up for "acting white"?

He is white. (Most of his classmates are not). He hasn't been picked on yet. Socially he does very well. So far. I can only assume that all the posters stating that this does not happen or that smart kids are a dime a dozen go to different types of schools. My child definitely stands out (a lot - he's several grade levels ahead e.g. about two in math and three-four in reading) and the other kids definitely notice.

Perhaps, but I honestly think you're over thinking this and likely thinking too highly of your own child. My kid with a very, very high IQ fits in just fine...but he's humble and has no idea how bright he is. He acts like a normal kid with other kids but with sprinklings of advanced vocab or questions or humor.