If someone "jokingly" said something sexual to you that was annoying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all for validating my extreme discomfort. I am not good at being assertive. Given the content, would you share with a supervisor or just take the "eww, inappropriate" tactic.

I've had people make comments like that before. My tactic is to ask them to repeat it. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" In a firm tone. It conveys disapproval pretty effectively, because most people back off. If they do dig in, then you just state clearly that you find that unprofessional and inappropriate. I'm not sure I'd go to HR the first time, but I would document it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here: it was something along the lines of "I know you want me, stop trying to rub up against me all the time." Said as a "joke." While giving me zero physical space.

"Don't rub your penis against me".

I used to work in a kitchen where the pastry chef would never let me pass through with out pushing up against me.

[Anonymous]

I think saying "that's not funny" with a serious, low-pitched voice with absolutely no up swing of pitch at the end of the sentence and a very serious face (maybe a slight frown) works for the first time. After that, go to HR.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all for validating my extreme discomfort. I am not good at being assertive. Given the content, would you share with a supervisor or just take the "eww, inappropriate" tactic.

I've had people make comments like that before. My tactic is to ask them to repeat it. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" In a firm tone. It conveys disapproval pretty effectively, because most people back off. If they do dig in, then you just state clearly that you find that unprofessional and inappropriate. I'm not sure I'd go to HR the first time, but I would document it.

Yes. Without the "I'm sorry".

You have nothing to be sorry about. You both know you heard what he said.

Keep it simple.

"What did you just say?" (Said with a squint or furrowed brow. But NOT with a smile or an uncomfortable smirk.)

or


"That's offensive. I don't want to hear it."

My experience is that people like this test you at first. They want to see how much you'll tolerate and how far you'll let them go. Call them out on it and they will likely move on.

He's looking for an easy target. Don't be that woman.