Update on husband had baby with assistant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for the positive support. My kids do not know that he exists at this point. That is on my husband to deal with that news. I have repeatedly asked him to consult with some child psychologists to find out what would be the best for them. It has been three months and of course, he has done nothing. The OW is married but constantly calls my soon to be ex yelling at him that he needs to see the child. (He has, just not enough for her). She is also calling my mother-one-law and telling her she needs to see the child because he is her biological grandson. She is now threatening to sue for child support. Mind you, her husband is the legal father.

Not my monkeys, not my circus anymore!!!!!

I though you said it had been two years of hell? Now the baby is only three months old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for the positive support. My kids do not know that he exists at this point. That is on my husband to deal with that news. I have repeatedly asked him to consult with some child psychologists to find out what would be the best for them. It has been three months and of course, he has done nothing. The OW is married but constantly calls my soon to be ex yelling at him that he needs to see the child. (He has, just not enough for her). She is also calling my mother-one-law and telling her she needs to see the child because he is her biological grandson. She is now threatening to sue for child support. Mind you, her husband is the legal father.

Not my monkeys, not my circus anymore!!!!!

He's horrible, and it will get better the further you distance yourself from this nut.

Until there's DNA and he's declared the LEGAL father he's technically not the father. I wouldn't involve the children at all unless he's put on the birth certificate. Otherwise I certainly wouldn't consider that child to be related to yours. As you said that's his problem, BUT I would make it clear he not talk to the children about it. The child could be anyone's at this point, and apparently your ex is a pathological liar and cheater.

At this point he may never be the legal father, and that's what counts.

I would move on from your ex with very little contact only related to the visitation. I would get it written in the divorce that your kids are not to be alone with any women he may be dating. Only agreed on sitter, or relatives.

Sorry, that will never happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck to you. It has been interesting following your journey, but I am sorry you had to go through this. I would have made the same decision.

I have a friend who decided to stay and welcome the stepson who is a few months older than her youngest child. Three years down the road, it seems to be working, but only because the baby mama was a one-night-stand and out of the picture.

I admire your friend but if my DH sired a bastard there is no way in Hell I would ever allow communication/connection with my children. I would also divorce my DH because I could not be married to a man I could not trust.

Cute, but it's not your decision. If the court orders visitation and communication, you will allow it or you will go to jail.

The court cannot order me to have communication or visitation with his bastard child. DH could meet and visit outside my home.

That is not what you said. The court can allow DH to visit his children, and if he wants all of his kids to have a relationship that will be allowed.

The relationship isn't up to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for the positive support. My kids do not know that he exists at this point. That is on my husband to deal with that news. I have repeatedly asked him to consult with some child psychologists to find out what would be the best for them. It has been three months and of course, he has done nothing. The OW is married but constantly calls my soon to be ex yelling at him that he needs to see the child. (He has, just not enough for her). She is also calling my mother-one-law and telling her she needs to see the child because he is her biological grandson. She is now threatening to sue for child support. Mind you, her husband is the legal father.

Not my monkeys, not my circus anymore!!!!!

I though you said it had been two years of hell? Now the baby is only three months old?

No. She said it's been three months since she asked him to consult with a child psychologist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for the positive support. My kids do not know that he exists at this point. That is on my husband to deal with that news. I have repeatedly asked him to consult with some child psychologists to find out what would be the best for them. It has been three months and of course, he has done nothing. The OW is married but constantly calls my soon to be ex yelling at him that he needs to see the child. (He has, just not enough for her). She is also calling my mother-one-law and telling her she needs to see the child because he is her biological grandson. She is now threatening to sue for child support. Mind you, her husband is the legal father.

Not my monkeys, not my circus anymore!!!!!

I though you said it had been two years of hell? Now the baby is only three months old?

Uhmmmm....reread. She said it has been three months since she asked her husband to seek out advice from child psychologists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for the positive support. My kids do not know that he exists at this point. That is on my husband to deal with that news. I have repeatedly asked him to consult with some child psychologists to find out what would be the best for them. It has been three months and of course, he has done nothing. The OW is married but constantly calls my soon to be ex yelling at him that he needs to see the child. (He has, just not enough for her). She is also calling my mother-one-law and telling her she needs to see the child because he is her biological grandson. She is now threatening to sue for child support. Mind you, her husband is the legal father.

Not my monkeys, not my circus anymore!!!!!

He's horrible, and it will get better the further you distance yourself from this nut.

Until there's DNA and he's declared the LEGAL father he's technically not the father. I wouldn't involve the children at all unless he's put on the birth certificate. Otherwise I certainly wouldn't consider that child to be related to yours. As you said that's his problem, BUT I would make it clear he not talk to the children about it. The child could be anyone's at this point, and apparently your ex is a pathological liar and cheater.

At this point he may never be the legal father, and that's what counts.

I would move on from your ex with very little contact only related to the visitation. I would get it written in the divorce that your kids are not to be alone with any women he may be dating. Only agreed on sitter, or relatives.

Sorry, that will never happen.

It sure does, my friend has it in her order and they can't sleep over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for the positive support. My kids do not know that he exists at this point. That is on my husband to deal with that news. I have repeatedly asked him to consult with some child psychologists to find out what would be the best for them. It has been three months and of course, he has done nothing. The OW is married but constantly calls my soon to be ex yelling at him that he needs to see the child. (He has, just not enough for her). She is also calling my mother-one-law and telling her she needs to see the child because he is her biological grandson. She is now threatening to sue for child support. Mind you, her husband is the legal father.

Not my monkeys, not my circus anymore!!!!!

He's horrible, and it will get better the further you distance yourself from this nut.

Until there's DNA and he's declared the LEGAL father he's technically not the father. I wouldn't involve the children at all unless he's put on the birth certificate. Otherwise I certainly wouldn't consider that child to be related to yours. As you said that's his problem, BUT I would make it clear he not talk to the children about it. The child could be anyone's at this point, and apparently your ex is a pathological liar and cheater.

At this point he may never be the legal father, and that's what counts.

I would move on from your ex with very little contact only related to the visitation. I would get it written in the divorce that your kids are not to be alone with any women he may be dating. Only agreed on sitter, or relatives.

Sorry, that will never happen.

It sure does, my friend has it in her order and they can't sleep over.

No judge would ever uphold that. At least not in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - the biological connection means nothing to me. My daughter is adopted and my son is biological and they are 100% brother and sister. They are very close.

Thanks again for the positive support.

Op..what on earth are you talking about???? This may have nothing to do with your husband. Something not right about this thread.

This has nothing to do with adoption, which is your child. Her child with another man is nothing to do with you or your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for the positive support. My kids do not know that he exists at this point. That is on my husband to deal with that news. I have repeatedly asked him to consult with some child psychologists to find out what would be the best for them. It has been three months and of course, he has done nothing. The OW is married but constantly calls my soon to be ex yelling at him that he needs to see the child. (He has, just not enough for her). She is also calling my mother-one-law and telling her she needs to see the child because he is her biological grandson. She is now threatening to sue for child support. Mind you, her husband is the legal father.

Not my monkeys, not my circus anymore!!!!!

He's horrible, and it will get better the further you distance yourself from this nut.

Until there's DNA and he's declared the LEGAL father he's technically not the father. I wouldn't involve the children at all unless he's put on the birth certificate. Otherwise I certainly wouldn't consider that child to be related to yours. As you said that's his problem, BUT I would make it clear he not talk to the children about it. The child could be anyone's at this point, and apparently your ex is a pathological liar and cheater.

At this point he may never be the legal father, and that's what counts.

I would move on from your ex with very little contact only related to the visitation. I would get it written in the divorce that your kids are not to be alone with any women he may be dating. Only agreed on sitter, or relatives.

Sorry, that will never happen.

It sure does, my friend has it in her order and they can't sleep over.

No judge would ever uphold that. At least not in this area.

PP again. I'm sorry, I misread. I didn't see that they were not to be left alone with any women he may be dating. My mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck, OP. You are a strong woman.

How are your kids holding up? Do they accept their new half sibling?

Read below, he's not the legal father so they don't have any half siblings.


"Mind you, her husband is the legal father".

Well they are blood half siblings legal or not.

No they're nothing to each other. There's a legal father. Doesn't matter what he/she said, lol.

OP get divorced, and once you feel ready to date I am sure you will find someone down the road that appreciates you. Forget about exes drama.

Are you kidding? If my dad had an affair and I had a half sibling, I would want to know about it.

To my knowledge paternity hasn't been established, there's not even a paternity order. Are you kidding? Hopefully OP understands all this.

So op is divorcing him largely because he had a baby with his assistant. She's not denying his paternity. Her kids are the other child's half siblings- there is that biological tie.
That being said, I don't think OP is under any obligation to make sure they get to know each other or even worry about introducing them . But that doesn't erase the biological reality.
Best of luck to you in the future OP! Sounds like you are handling it all well and you will get through this intact and, likely, better than before!

No there's nothing proving this child is her soon to be ex husband's kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for the positive support. My kids do not know that he exists at this point. That is on my husband to deal with that news. I have repeatedly asked him to consult with some child psychologists to find out what would be the best for them. It has been three months and of course, he has done nothing. The OW is married but constantly calls my soon to be ex yelling at him that he needs to see the child. (He has, just not enough for her). She is also calling my mother-one-law and telling her she needs to see the child because he is her biological grandson. She is now threatening to sue for child support. Mind you, her husband is the legal father.

Not my monkeys, not my circus anymore!!!!!

He's horrible, and it will get better the further you distance yourself from this nut.

Until there's DNA and he's declared the LEGAL father he's technically not the father. I wouldn't involve the children at all unless he's put on the birth certificate. Otherwise I certainly wouldn't consider that child to be related to yours. As you said that's his problem, BUT I would make it clear he not talk to the children about it. The child could be anyone's at this point, and apparently your ex is a pathological liar and cheater.

At this point he may never be the legal father, and that's what counts.

I would move on from your ex with very little contact only related to the visitation. I would get it written in the divorce that your kids are not to be alone with any women he may be dating. Only agreed on sitter, or relatives.

Sorry, that will never happen.

It sure does, my friend has it in her order and they can't sleep over.

No judge would ever uphold that. At least not in this area.

PP again. I'm sorry, I misread. I didn't see that they were not to be left alone with any women he may be dating. My mistake.

Her ex can't leave the kids alone with any of these women unless he is there. The order says no sleep overs, but if he married that would change fyi.

[Anonymous]

I read the old thread and something didn't feel right. OP and cheating husband seemed to believe this other woman right off the bat. I'm starting to believe this was a troll thread because no one is going to send checks to a person who refuses to dna the child. She claims her husband went as far to visit the now toddler and neither of them know who the kids father is.
If the woman really wanted child support, she would file at the court and start the ball rolling.
Either this story is phony, or these people are pretty gullible and enjoy being scammed.

[Anonymous]

I never believed this story. She claimed her husband had no idea what was happening and this 20 something yr old woman manipulated her poor 40 something yr old husband. :rolls:

Then op said she threatened or was going to take the woman's baby away.