Have you been deemed "Executor" and/or Beneficiary of a will and/or trust (for a parent)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you named in the will? Did your parent leave everything to your brother and specifically say that the other siblings were to get nothing or just a small bequest?

In my family, older relatives have given certain household and personal items to their children before they died so that that there was no confusion after death. Things like jewelry, china, silver, rugs, photos and family papers. My grandparents gave things to their kids ahead of time and that generation is now starting to hand things on to my generation. This way, the older person has the peace of mind of knowing that their belongings are being cared for by those that love them. Is it possible your father gave things to the brother in advance thinking to avoid problems after his death?

How do I find this out?

[Anonymous]

Demand to see the will. Or the trust. If your brother says there isn't one, then he is not the executor absent a probate court order making the appointment. If there is no document or order and he has simply assumed the role, it's a felony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Real estate? Motor vehicles? Were any items declared on a home owners policy? Bank and investment accounts? IRA's? Life insurance?

These are traceable things that should be discoverable.

According to dad (passed last summer), there was a bank account ($100k CD), life insurance ($100k+) and motor vehicle ($10k+/-), as well as jewelry and furs ($30k +/-); (probably not itemized on homeowners, or would have been on siblings' homeowners policy, if at all). Dad lived with my brother for a few years, in a house that dad bought for brother (house in brother's name). I suspect jewelry and furs were given to SIL, and that rather and SIL were encouraged, under duress, to keep everything quiet. Brother and SIL are doing a great job pretending everything is "lost" (???) - is there any way a court can force these ties to be produced? Especially if I do not have photos of the items (proof of their existence)?

Is this worth pursuing, or is it going to get thrown out of court, no matter how much money I throw at it?

How do I find these things out, without a cooperative party? And given that brother that is deliberately trying to cover every last track of his thievery?

Were both names on the house? If not no $ for you. Bank accounts-were they joint with your brother? Beneficiary on life ins? Whose name was the car titled under?
Did you get a copy of the will? Your dad is deceased so something must have happened with the county where he died. Probate? Register of wills?

Here's a link to DC probate court. If you are a beneficiary and have heard nothing you need to discover if they have filed for probate or perhaps you need to find out if you are a beneficiary. http://www.dccourts.gov/internet/public/aud_probate/main.jsf

As I posted yesterday garbage in garbage out even for lawyers. If the bro absconded with money and stuff so be it. Bank accounts, life ins policies, real estate deeds [gift of equity or loan and lifetime max gifts] , IRS gift tax form dad might have fiked, etc. And the car. Cars most commonly are registered and insured.

[Anonymous]

I posted the link to DC probate court. Contact the jurisdiction of death [or go there] and have a copy of death notice and legal notice [must be available for bills/debts] on the death.

Creditors must be able to find the estate. Depending on the parent's state of residence you can be responsible for their debts. Filial support laws so ...

Once you have the legal notice of the death and a birth cert and docs showing you were the child go to the probate court. Estates are an entity and probate handles the entity. FIT gets filed on estates so even contact the IRS. If stuff doesn't get done or bills don't get paid creditors might find you.

[Anonymous]

It's going to cost more money than it is worth. It's going to come down to he said/she said. With items, it's very easy for the executor to say they were lost or given away prior to the death of the individual.

We went through this with my grandmother. I was supposed to get all of her jewelry (it was not much and nothing expensive), but my uncle said it was all gone (he was the executor). I was told there was nothing that could be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you named in the will? Did your parent leave everything to your brother and specifically say that the other siblings were to get nothing or just a small bequest?

In my family, older relatives have given certain household and personal items to their children before they died so that that there was no confusion after death. Things like jewelry, china, silver, rugs, photos and family papers. My grandparents gave things to their kids ahead of time and that generation is now starting to hand things on to my generation. This way, the older person has the peace of mind of knowing that their belongings are being cared for by those that love them. Is it possible your father gave things to the brother in advance thinking to avoid problems after his death?

How do I find this out?

I and all my siblings have copies of my parents's wills and important papers that will be needed when they die. They have updated them occasionally over the past few years and we get copies of all updates. Did your father never send you a copy of his will or the trust documents or at least an indication of where they were so you would know what to do when he passed away?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Demand to see the will. Or the trust. If your brother says there isn't one, then he is not the executor absent a probate court order making the appointment. If there is no document or order and he has simply assumed the role, it's a felony.

Can't he just say "no"or continue as he has, and say "there isn't one"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you named in the will? Did your parent leave everything to your brother and specifically say that the other siblings were to get nothing or just a small bequest?

In my family, older relatives have given certain household and personal items to their children before they died so that that there was no confusion after death. Things like jewelry, china, silver, rugs, photos and family papers. My grandparents gave things to their kids ahead of time and that generation is now starting to hand things on to my generation. This way, the older person has the peace of mind of knowing that their belongings are being cared for by those that love them. Is it possible your father gave things to the brother in advance thinking to avoid problems after his death?

How do I find this out?

I and all my siblings have copies of my parents's wills and important papers that will be needed when they die. They have updated them occasionally over the past few years and we get copies of all updates. Did your father never send you a copy of his will or the trust documents or at least an indication of where they were so you would know what to do when he passed away?

No. Left everything in the care of the heinous brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's going to cost more money than it is worth. It's going to come down to he said/she said. With items, it's very easy for the executor to say they were lost or given away prior to the death of the individual.

We went through this with my grandmother. I was supposed to get all of her jewelry (it was not much and nothing expensive), but my uncle said it was all gone (he was the executor). I was told there was nothing that could be done.

I am so sorry. This is where I am now. Is there no accountability?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted the link to DC probate court. Contact the jurisdiction of death [or go there] and have a copy of death notice and legal notice [must be available for bills/debts] on the death.

Creditors must be able to find the estate. Depending on the parent's state of residence you can be responsible for their debts. Filial support laws so ...

Once you have the legal notice of the death and a birth cert and docs showing you were the child go to the probate court. Estates are an entity and probate handles the entity. FIT gets filed on estates so even contact the IRS. If stuff doesn't get done or bills don't get paid creditors might find you.

Some of the bills were paid, some were not. "He's dead". Done. I am not yet at the point where I am considering "what if the creditors find me" - so I will worry about that when the time comes. One thing at a time, frankly.

What I do not understand is the "FIT" (definition?), or how to obtain the documents. I have my own birth certificate. I have sent for my father's death certificate, but have received nothing. Does this mean that sibling did not "sign off" on death (part of the secrecy for him to maintain control).

I was given the impression that the trust was written to avoid probate. Is this not correct?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Real estate? Motor vehicles? Were any items declared on a home owners policy? Bank and investment accounts? IRA's? Life insurance?

These are traceable things that should be discoverable.

According to dad (passed last summer), there was a bank account ($100k CD), life insurance ($100k+) and motor vehicle ($10k+/-), as well as jewelry and furs ($30k +/-); (probably not itemized on homeowners, or would have been on siblings' homeowners policy, if at all). Dad lived with my brother for a few years, in a house that dad bought for brother (house in brother's name). I suspect jewelry and furs were given to SIL, and that rather and SIL were encouraged, under duress, to keep everything quiet. Brother and SIL are doing a great job pretending everything is "lost" (???) - is there any way a court can force these ties to be produced? Especially if I do not have photos of the items (proof of their existence)?

Is this worth pursuing, or is it going to get thrown out of court, no matter how much money I throw at it?

How do I find these things out, without a cooperative party? And given that brother that is deliberately trying to cover every last track of his thievery?

Were both names on the house? If not no $ for you. Bank accounts-were they joint with your brother? Beneficiary on life ins? Whose name was the car titled under?
Did you get a copy of the will? Your dad is deceased so something must have happened with the county where he died. Probate? Register of wills?

Here's a link to DC probate court. If you are a beneficiary and have heard nothing you need to discover if they have filed for probate or perhaps you need to find out if you are a beneficiary. http://www.dccourts.gov/internet/public/aud_probate/main.jsf

As I posted yesterday garbage in garbage out even for lawyers. If the bro absconded with money and stuff so be it. Bank accounts, life ins policies, real estate deeds [gift of equity or loan and lifetime max gifts] , IRS gift tax form dad might have fiked, etc. And the car. Cars most commonly are registered and insured.

Exactly. "Garbage in" was very much intentional. Unless I am the POA, what can I do? Brother was the POA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If executor is shady then petition the court to have them removed and appoint yourself or someone else. Note that if the court appoints an independant party the estate will have to pay them.

Independent or not, an executor has the right to be paid.

Exactly. I was the executor of my parent’s estate. I could have given myself a stipend/salary, but I chose not to. There is a limit (some percentage of estate), but the executor has this right.

I was executor of both my parents' estates plus a couple of trusts. It was a LOT of work. My brother agreed that I should take the full commission allowed by law since I also serve as trustee for his trust with no compensation (which also takes time, requires accounting and filing tax returns, etc.). Our attorney advised that it's more advantageous to not take the executor's commission (taxed as ordinary income), leave those funds in the estate to be divided equally between us, and have my brother make a gift to me in the amount the commission would be net of taxes, so that's what we did. We each got more from the estate proceeds and the net commission to the executor was the same.

I am executor for a single parent's estate. what is the commission allowed by law? how does that work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted the link to DC probate court. Contact the jurisdiction of death [or go there] and have a copy of death notice and legal notice [must be available for bills/debts] on the death.

Creditors must be able to find the estate. Depending on the parent's state of residence you can be responsible for their debts. Filial support laws so ...

Once you have the legal notice of the death and a birth cert and docs showing you were the child go to the probate court. Estates are an entity and probate handles the entity. FIT gets filed on estates so even contact the IRS. If stuff doesn't get done or bills don't get paid creditors might find you.

Some of the bills were paid, some were not. "He's dead". Done. I am not yet at the point where I am considering "what if the creditors find me" - so I will worry about that when the time comes. One thing at a time, frankly.

What I do not understand is the "FIT" (definition?), or how to obtain the documents. I have my own birth certificate. I have sent for my father's death certificate, but have received nothing. Does this mean that sibling did not "sign off" on death (part of the secrecy for him to maintain control).

I was given the impression that the trust was written to avoid probate. Is this not correct?

How do you know what bills were paid? After death medical and ambulance bills drift in. You need to write to or call the county or city where he resided. Probate court. Who paid for the funeral? The parlours coordinate getting death certs. FIT is federal income tax. Contact whatever state it was. People just don;t die and nothing gets reported. States also have legal notices. Google is your friend.

[Anonymous]

It is an intimidating process when there is a gatekeeper dissuading and misinforming you at every turn. In addition, there is collusion with distant family members who are benefitting. It is easy to become overwhelmed when the situation is none of what it seems, or what it should be. Thus far, no phone calls have led to helpful information; and it is overwhelming to guess what might have been involved, and where to start.

Thank you to those who are being helpful and giving me starting points; and requirements of those involved. It helps to talk to people who are helpful and know what they are talking about. It is extremely diffucult to lose both parents, be robbed by family that was supposed to trustworthy, and feel so alone during all of it. Thanks again to those who are helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted the link to DC probate court. Contact the jurisdiction of death [or go there] and have a copy of death notice and legal notice [must be available for bills/debts] on the death.

Creditors must be able to find the estate. Depending on the parent's state of residence you can be responsible for their debts. Filial support laws so ...

Once you have the legal notice of the death and a birth cert and docs showing you were the child go to the probate court. Estates are an entity and probate handles the entity. FIT gets filed on estates so even contact the IRS. If stuff doesn't get done or bills don't get paid creditors might find you.

Some of the bills were paid, some were not. "He's dead". Done. I am not yet at the point where I am considering "what if the creditors find me" - so I will worry about that when the time comes. One thing at a time, frankly.

What I do not understand is the "FIT" (definition?), or how to obtain the documents. I have my own birth certificate. I have sent for my father's death certificate, but have received nothing. Does this mean that sibling did not "sign off" on death (part of the secrecy for him to maintain control).

I was given the impression that the trust was written to avoid probate. Is this not correct?

FIT = Federal Income Tax. That's why estate must have a W-9.