Have you been deemed "Executor" and/or Beneficiary of a will and/or trust (for a parent)?

[Anonymous]

You need to get a lawyer, no one here can help you. And take emotion out of it, the best you can, because the last thing you want to do is spend tons of $$ fighting over junk that belongs in a goodwill.

To all those PPs upthread who say "oh, I cannot IMAGINE not splitting things evenly"--well, what if the will says otherwise? Nice spot to be in, huh?

[Anonymous]

Thank you again, sincerely. The bottom line is that whatever you call the sibling (he was left everything, and controlled everything, to my knowledge) - Clearly this topic is not my forte. Sibling very much feels owed and entitled, and wants to throw snyone else a bone. It is insulting, and infuriating to think about, given what my dad went through.

Bottom line, since sibling is in charge of everything, can't he just lie and say threre was nithing? That had been what he has been telling me, which is what angers me, and is pushing me to puruse matters.

Am I to understand there is a copy of the trust that I have access to? I believe everything wad left to the sibling out of duress. Am I to also understand, as an offspring, I am automatically a beneficiary?

[Anonymous]

Sorry about iphone typos!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you again, sincerely. The bottom line is that whatever you call the sibling (he was left everything, and controlled everything, to my knowledge) - Clearly this topic is not my forte. Sibling very much feels owed and entitled, and wants to throw snyone else a bone. It is insulting, and infuriating to think about, given what my dad went through.

Bottom line, since sibling is in charge of everything, can't he just lie and say threre was nithing? That had been what he has been telling me, which is what angers me, and is pushing me to puruse matters.

Am I to understand there is a copy of the trust that I have access to? I believe everything wad left to the sibling out of duress. Am I to also understand, as an offspring, I am automatically a beneficiary?

If there is a will or trust you should be able to see it. If there was nothing the laws of intestate succession would generally afford an equal split among siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If executor is shady then petition the court to have them removed and appoint yourself or someone else. Note that if the court appoints an independant party the estate will have to pay them.

Independent or not, an executor has the right to be paid.

Exactly. I was the executor of my parent’s estate. I could have given myself a stipend/salary, but I chose not to. There is a limit (some percentage of estate), but the executor has this right.

I was executor of both my parents' estates plus a couple of trusts. It was a LOT of work. My brother agreed that I should take the full commission allowed by law since I also serve as trustee for his trust with no compensation (which also takes time, requires accounting and filing tax returns, etc.). Our attorney advised that it's more advantageous to not take the executor's commission (taxed as ordinary income), leave those funds in the estate to be divided equally between us, and have my brother make a gift to me in the amount the commission would be net of taxes, so that's what we did. We each got more from the estate proceeds and the net commission to the executor was the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to get a lawyer, no one here can help you. And take emotion out of it, the best you can, because the last thing you want to do is spend tons of $$ fighting over junk that belongs in a goodwill.

To all those PPs upthread who say "oh, I cannot IMAGINE not splitting things evenly"--well, what if the will says otherwise? Nice spot to be in, huh?

One of my uncles (great uncle, my father's uncle) has significant assets and left his estate unequally to his 2 sons and his daughter (who got less because he disapproved of her career choice, etc.). My 2 cousins (the men) on their own gave their sister shares of their bequests to equalize it between the 3 of them (they are/were 3 wonderful, honorable people).

Even if the will or trust provides for unequal treatment, people can choose to do the right thing if they want to and divide equally (if it's appropriate).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you again, sincerely. The bottom line is that whatever you call the sibling (he was left everything, and controlled everything, to my knowledge) - Clearly this topic is not my forte. Sibling very much feels owed and entitled, and wants to throw snyone else a bone. It is insulting, and infuriating to think about, given what my dad went through.

Bottom line, since sibling is in charge of everything, can't he just lie and say threre was nithing? That had been what he has been telling me, which is what angers me, and is pushing me to puruse matters.

Am I to understand there is a copy of the trust that I have access to? I believe everything wad left to the sibling out of duress. Am I to also understand, as an offspring, I am automatically a beneficiary?

If there is a will or trust you should be able to see it. If there was nothing the laws of intestate succession would generally afford an equal split among siblings.

Right but that is only in the will or trust is silent on succession. If it states that everything goes to the sibling then OP might be out of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you again, sincerely. The bottom line is that whatever you call the sibling (he was left everything, and controlled everything, to my knowledge) - Clearly this topic is not my forte. Sibling very much feels owed and entitled, and wants to throw snyone else a bone. It is insulting, and infuriating to think about, given what my dad went through.

Bottom line, since sibling is in charge of everything, can't he just lie and say threre was nithing? That had been what he has been telling me, which is what angers me, and is pushing me to puruse matters.

Am I to understand there is a copy of the trust that I have access to? I believe everything wad left to the sibling out of duress. Am I to also understand, as an offspring, I am automatically a beneficiary?

If there is a will or trust you should be able to see it. If there was nothing the laws of intestate succession would generally afford an equal split among siblings.

Right but that is only in the will or trust is silent on succession. If it states that everything goes to the sibling then OP might be out of luck.

OP here: Yes, "silent on succession" - this is what I am thinking. Again, I am not well versed in this area, and I am still waiting to hear from attorneys I have emailed, so I am left wondering and waiting. It is not a fun experience.

In other words, the sibling took everything, and is claiming that whatever I ask for, conveniently, does not exist. There are only a couple of things I actually want - nothing in comparison to what the sibling took. The other siblings don't talk to the sibling who took everything, now I see why. If I do this, I would be going it alone. I am really only interested in one or two pieces (of many extravagant pieces) of jewelry and some family photos. I don't think I should have to go through a huge lawsuit, but I suppose I will have to, since the sibling is so sneaky and greedy.

[Anonymous]

**"does not exist": is "lost", and other excuses, possibly encouraged by the attorney that wrote the original trust; before the trust was signed under duress.

[Anonymous]

Real estate? Motor vehicles? Were any items declared on a home owners policy? Bank and investment accounts? IRA's? Life insurance?

These are traceable things that should be discoverable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Real estate? Motor vehicles? Were any items declared on a home owners policy? Bank and investment accounts? IRA's? Life insurance?

These are traceable things that should be discoverable.

According to dad (passed last summer), there was a bank account ($100k CD), life insurance ($100k+) and motor vehicle ($10k+/-), as well as jewelry and furs ($30k +/-); (probably not itemized on homeowners, or would have been on siblings' homeowners policy, if at all). Dad lived with my brother for a few years, in a house that dad bought for brother (house in brother's name). I suspect jewelry and furs were given to SIL, and that rather and SIL were encouraged, under duress, to keep everything quiet. Brother and SIL are doing a great job pretending everything is "lost" (???) - is there any way a court can force these ties to be produced? Especially if I do not have photos of the items (proof of their existence)?

Is this worth pursuing, or is it going to get thrown out of court, no matter how much money I throw at it?

How do I find these things out, without a cooperative party? And given that brother that is deliberately trying to cover every last track of his thievery?

[Anonymous]

rather=brother
ties=items
Damn iPhone.

[Anonymous]

Are you named in the will? Did your parent leave everything to your brother and specifically say that the other siblings were to get nothing or just a small bequest?

In my family, older relatives have given certain household and personal items to their children before they died so that that there was no confusion after death. Things like jewelry, china, silver, rugs, photos and family papers. My grandparents gave things to their kids ahead of time and that generation is now starting to hand things on to my generation. This way, the older person has the peace of mind of knowing that their belongings are being cared for by those that love them. Is it possible your father gave things to the brother in advance thinking to avoid problems after his death?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you named in the will? Did your parent leave everything to your brother and specifically say that the other siblings were to get nothing or just a small bequest?

In my family, older relatives have given certain household and personal items to their children before they died so that that there was no confusion after death. Things like jewelry, china, silver, rugs, photos and family papers. My grandparents gave things to their kids ahead of time and that generation is now starting to hand things on to my generation. This way, the older person has the peace of mind of knowing that their belongings are being cared for by those that love them. Is it possible your father gave things to the brother in advance thinking to avoid problems after his death?

I don't know. There is a trust - doesn't that "cancel out" or "protect" (help me with the verbiage here) the will? In other words, I am given the impression that the brother was trusted to do the right thing - at least, the parents wanted the attorney to believe that the brother had everyone's best interests at heart. The brother was presented in the most favorable light, in spite of being a horrible person, and a horrible son. And a thief. (A good person does not say one thing, and do another, and serve only their own purposes.) Over the years, I have written the attorney and told him about certain shenanigans, and consequently, matters had changed in favor of my dad. Now, the attorney has told me to contact an attorney in that jurisdiction, which I am doing.

I really know nothing about trusts and wills (obviously) and am asking what are my rights, given that I probably was not named. Is it possible/legal to only name one child? Because that child turned on my dad and things got very bad. The child hoarded everything and only wanted to control my father. My father was in a very bad situation, in the end. It is crystal clear that my brother was not looking out for my father. My brother only really wanted to be given everything. Bottom line. They wanted the goods. I tried to tell the attorney this while he was still practicing (The attorney that drew up the original trust is no longer practicing.). Did he have a legal obligation to correct the problem?

How do I find out if I was named? How do I access the documents - since the brother is so guarded (and is a compulsive liar)? See why I am stuck?

[Anonymous]

should be "matters 'momentarily' changed in favor of my dad".