not going to bar mitzvah, send gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would send a congratulatory card with a check in it closer to the event, not in the reply card (hint - don't wait until Fri night to run to CVS or the grocery store to get the card, because they will have run out).

I'm in an inter-faith family, and no way would I compare my niece and nephews confirmation in first or second grade (where they are all dressed up as brides and grooms - I get the bride of Christ thing, but still find it creepy) or even the one when they were 14 15 16? To our kids Bar Mitzvahs. Showing up/dressing up and accepting the sacrament (younger), and listening to the bishop screaming about not having premarital sex (older) is not the same as learning to read from the Torah, in a different language, with different letters, and running an entire service in front of family and friends. Those who think it's a money grab, are clearly not Jewish. It has nothing to do with the money, and all about how proud you are of your child/relative for learning amd doing all this at age 13. I have a large family, my husband has a large family too. So, the Bar Mitavahs we held were huge (and the only ones husbands family had ever been to, including all the nieces and nephews from Texas who all went to Catholic School). Believe me, I wish they didn't have to be so big, but that's what big families do. What the kids got in $$ was about 1/4 of what we spent (and they weren't fancy/formal, just large) so if it was all about $$ we wouldn't of had one and could have just saved that money.

Most churches do communion at 14/15/16 following a year of special Sunday schools/study/volunteering. I’ve never heard of the bride of Christ thing, what denomination is it? You say bishop, so I’m guessing Catholic? I’ve never seen a priest/bishop scream, so perhaps we can agree that was a nasty bit of spite because you’re sensitive about the perception of cash being given, but tbh I don’t think anybody cares, at least in cases where they know and are fond of the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Jewish, have been bat mitzvah'd and have been to dozens of bar and bat mitzvahs, so obviously an authority on this subject.

Yes, like a wedding, send a gift even if you're not going. Yes, multiples of $18. Since you've never met the kid I think $36 is fine.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would send a congratulatory card with a check in it closer to the event, not in the reply card (hint - don't wait until Fri night to run to CVS or the grocery store to get the card, because they will have run out).

I'm in an inter-faith family, and no way would I compare my niece and nephews confirmation in first or second grade (where they are all dressed up as brides and grooms - I get the bride of Christ thing, but still find it creepy) or even the one when they were 14 15 16? To our kids Bar Mitzvahs. Showing up/dressing up and accepting the sacrament (younger), and listening to the bishop screaming about not having premarital sex (older) is not the same as learning to read from the Torah, in a different language, with different letters, and running an entire service in front of family and friends. Those who think it's a money grab, are clearly not Jewish. It has nothing to do with the money, and all about how proud you are of your child/relative for learning amd doing all this at age 13. I have a large family, my husband has a large family too. So, the Bar Mitavahs we held were huge (and the only ones husbands family had ever been to, including all the nieces and nephews from Texas who all went to Catholic School). Believe me, I wish they didn't have to be so big, but that's what big families do. What the kids got in $$ was about 1/4 of what we spent (and they weren't fancy/formal, just large) so if it was all about $$ we wouldn't of had one and could have just saved that money.

Most churches do communion at 14/15/16 following a year of special Sunday schools/study/volunteering. I’ve never heard of the bride of Christ thing, what denomination is it? You say bishop, so I’m guessing Catholic? I’ve never seen a priest/bishop scream, so perhaps we can agree that was a nasty bit of spite



because you’re sensitive about the perception of cash being given, but tbh I don’t think anybody cares, at least in cases where they know and are fond of the



kid.

I have heard that phrase too.. bride of christ but not sure
Was it regarding first communion or was it that nuns
When they become nuns wear ring during the ceremony
As being married to Jesus?

[Anonymous]

Bride of Christ refers to the church

There is some mention of this in the book of revelation. That is it