Help me I'm an awful person!

[Anonymous]

There are some distortions in your thinking that need to be worked through. Your own wonderful wedding won't become an embarrassment - the only person who will compare them unfavorably is you. And your future kids won't feel inferior to their cousins unless you teach them that they are through your own attitude or behavior. My brother and his family are very wealthy and we are not, but my kids have no notion of their lives as being somehow "less than", because their dad and I don't.

Maybe it's my age - at 45 I really see how short life is and what's truly important. For me it's spending time with loved ones. Material luxuries are nice but not essential to happiness. You have so many blessings, OP.

[Anonymous]

Don't be jealous til he puts a ring on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:U aren't horrible, but maybe if you dump your husband and start hanging out in your sister's circles u'll meet a richer, better man. Good luck.

+1. I was thinking the same. Are we horrible or what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You'll lose your sister, OP. Poor (in comparison) relatives tend to vanish from rich people's lives. Sorry.

OP here. I reallly reallly don't want to do that. How can you maintain a relationship with a family member who inherits wealth while you're "poor" yourself? How can I overcome my feelings of envy and jealousy and inadequacy to still be genuinely in her life 100%?

It is not something people do intentionally. It happens gradually. You can't go in the same places (you can't afford it, while she can), you don't mingle with the same people. She is less willing to meet you halfway, because she's getting used to a different lifestyle etc etc. I don't know how you can change this dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You'll lose your sister, OP. Poor (in comparison) relatives tend to vanish from rich people's lives. Sorry.

OP here. I reallly reallly don't want to do that. How can you maintain a relationship with a family member who inherits wealth while you're "poor" yourself? How can I overcome my feelings of envy and jealousy and inadequacy to still be genuinely in her life 100%?

It is not something people do intentionally. It happens gradually. You can't go in the same places (you can't afford it, while she can), you don't mingle with the same people. She is less willing to meet you halfway, because she's getting used to a different lifestyle etc etc. I don't know how you can change this dynamic.

OP here. I already find some differences regarding this. When I talk about how dh and I are on a budget and thus can't take any international trips this year, she is confused and says "It only costs like 4k you should do it. Life is short." or " etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You'll lose your sister, OP. Poor (in comparison) relatives tend to vanish from rich people's lives. Sorry.

OP here. I reallly reallly don't want to do that. How can you maintain a relationship with a family member who inherits wealth while you're "poor" yourself? How can I overcome my feelings of envy and jealousy and inadequacy to still be genuinely in her life 100%?

It is not something people do intentionally. It happens gradually. You can't go in the same places (you can't afford it, while she can), you don't mingle with the same people. She is less willing to meet you halfway, because she's getting used to a different lifestyle etc etc. I don't know how you can change this dynamic.

Are you crazy? She is her sister, blood and flesh, not just an acquaintance or a friend. Family bonds are supposed to be above this bs materialistic crap that OP seems to be obsessed about. OP, family stays together forever no matter what. Just put it in your head.

[Anonymous]

Wow OP. You are not an awful person. It's perfectly normal to be jealous. As long as you don't sabotage your sister then you are not a bad person. I'm sure Warren Buffet is jealous of somebody sometime in his life. Just be happy for sis and slap hubby every now and then

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You'll lose your sister, OP. Poor (in comparison) relatives tend to vanish from rich people's lives. Sorry.

OP here. I reallly reallly don't want to do that. How can you maintain a relationship with a family member who inherits wealth while you're "poor" yourself? How can I overcome my feelings of envy and jealousy and inadequacy to still be genuinely in her life 100%?

It is not something people do intentionally. It happens gradually. You can't go in the same places (you can't afford it, while she can), you don't mingle with the same people. She is less willing to meet you halfway, because she's getting used to a different lifestyle etc etc. I don't know how you can change this dynamic.

Are you crazy? She is her sister, blood and flesh, not just an acquaintance or a friend. Family bonds are supposed to be above this bs materialistic crap that OP seems to be obsessed about. OP, family stays together forever no matter what. Just put it in your head.

Yes, I am crazy, and families stay together forever, indeed