Please settle money dispute. Sahm that made some extra cash.

[Anonymous]

All money in your house belongs to you both equally. If you are on some kind of bizarre allowance then that's a problem. It's also a problem if your DH is spending nothing on himself and you want to buy a $200 treat for yourself. Seems like there are a lot of details missing here but you're going to be better off finding a daycare slot and going back to work. It's more important to be home part time as your kids get older, especially being home after school as they move into pre-adolescence.

[Anonymous]

Obviously troll thread is obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Whoever is doing the childcare IS working.

It's not the same, and it's not as valuable as earning money when finances are tight. Child care is menial labor that is easily outsourced. And it's not "working" when it's your own children -- it's fulfilling your responsibilities. "Work" is generally understood to mean income-producing labor.

"Child care is menial labor that is easily outsourced."

This takes the cake for most ignorant statement of the week on DCUM. This mentality is why most kids are in trouble by high school. Drugs, alcohol, sex, habitual lying, etc.

The kids are NOT alright, you fool.

You DO understand that your dh couldn't support a sahm if his job were childcare for a salary or pay, right? Childcare is important work, but it IS menial labor, and so one parent needs to have a job that pays enough that the other can stay home and do this task rather than outsourcing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Whoever is doing the childcare IS working.

It's not the same, and it's not as valuable as earning money when finances are tight. Child care is menial labor that is easily outsourced. And it's not "working" when it's your own children -- it's fulfilling your responsibilities. "Work" is generally understood to mean income-producing labor.

Um, what? Infant care at a center in the outer burbs costs at least $350 a week. So, send the baby to a center, and they get $350 a week. Leave the baby home with mom, she gets zero.

Let's say her tax rate is 15 percent. She could go to work for $10/hr working 40 hours a week and earn $400, just enough to pay for daycare. Net benefit = zero. But maybe she can get a job that pays $15 an hour. Now she's making $510 a week after taxes. Net benefit = $110. Is it worth it? Really?

Or, she could get a part-time evening job and husband can stay home in the evenings. I'm not sure what kind of part-time gig he's got, but maybe switching things up like that every year or so would be a good idea, at least so that the baby gets to spend more time with dad.

Are you serious? You do realize that "they" do not EACH get $350 a week, and even if they did, this is a very, very low amount. Childminders at centers, and preschool teachers, make VERY little money. Could YOU live on $350 a week? You've just reinforced PP's point about childcare being menial labor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Raising a child well does actually take a lot of work, a strong grasp of child development, never ending patience, the ability to tolerate being home alone with no adults to talk to day after day, an understanding of nutrition, and so much more.

Fine, then OP's husband should give her regular performance reviews. She sounds lazy and spoiled and should be fired from her SAHM gig.

[Anonymous]

So this is how it goes, according to OP:

His money = Our money
My money = My money


Sounds fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Raising a child well does actually take a lot of work, a strong grasp of child development, never ending patience, the ability to tolerate being home alone with no adults to talk to day after day, an understanding of nutrition, and so much more.

LOL, not exactly something that someone with very basic reading skills can't handle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Whoever is doing the childcare IS working.

It's not the same, and it's not as valuable as earning money when finances are tight. Child care is menial labor that is easily outsourced. And it's not "working" when it's your own children -- it's fulfilling your responsibilities. "Work" is generally understood to mean income-producing labor.

Um, what? Infant care at a center in the outer burbs costs at least $350 a week. So, send the baby to a center, and they get $350 a week. Leave the baby home with mom, she gets zero.

Let's say her tax rate is 15 percent. She could go to work for $10/hr working 40 hours a week and earn $400, just enough to pay for daycare. Net benefit = zero. But maybe she can get a job that pays $15 an hour. Now she's making $510 a week after taxes. Net benefit = $110. Is it worth it? Really?

Or, she could get a part-time evening job and husband can stay home in the evenings. I'm not sure what kind of part-time gig he's got, but maybe switching things up like that every year or so would be a good idea, at least so that the baby gets to spend more time with dad.

Are you serious? You do realize that "they" do not EACH get $350 a week, and even if they did, this is a very, very low amount. Childminders at centers, and preschool teachers, make VERY little money. Could YOU live on $350 a week? You've just reinforced PP's point about childcare being menial labor.

If I were uneducated like OP and in her position, I would go with my child and work at one of those centers. I know a few moms who have done that, and it worked out well for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the input and criticism as that's why I asked is for honest opinions. I will set the money aside for household

I am going to take your side OP, not because I disagree with other posters about it being household money, but because you have a legit issue with wanting to live and enjoy your money. I couldn't live like this, without the ability to at least occasionally spend on an enjoyable purchase or event.

Perhaps the SAH routine is too tight or not worth it for you two.

- a DH with a SAHM DW that could never live with this strict budgeting.