Im 40 years old and my parents still have yet to discuss in detail my trust fund.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get why OP is frustrated by this though. Even if it's just a revocable trust (i.e. no real promise of funds), by the time you're 40 it is nice for parents to have a conversation with you about what plans they have made for aging and after they are gone. My parents have done this with us and we have copies of the documents so we are all prepared in case of an accident or sudden illness. My in-laws have not done this and are not good planners, so whenever something eventually happens (they are not in the best of health), it will be much harder to pull together documents/information and coordinate decisions among the siblings. Putting money issues aside, I think these conversations are responsible among older parents and their grown children. I've seen my parents deal (for years!) with their own parents' estates because it wasn't polite, or something, to talk about money. It's a gift to children to plan well, and then to discuss (even in broad strokes) what those plans are and where documents can eventually be accessed.

Not my father is 84 years old. He does not want to discuss how much he has, but he wants us to pay him every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think she's not wording it well but it is frustrating not to be able to plan properly. For example, if there's a large sum coming to her then she might want to reduce her own retirement savings. She might make different decisions now if she wasn't trying to save for college. Imagine that she's facing very low performing schools and trying to figure out if she can afford privates and still save for college. It would be frustrating to learn later that she could have spent more on her kids.

Then what happens if she plans for an inheritance and it doesn't come? Say she hears that her inheritance is $500K and she spends for private school and vacations, etc. Then her father has a major health issue and only a small part is covered by insurance and when the dust settles and he finally passes and after funeral and taxes, it comes out to less than $25K. What then? The point is, that it isn't her money until the pass and the amount is not known until they pass. So she should not plan for any money and then if she gets a sizeable inheritance, she can alter her plans once she know how much she will really be inheriting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You probably have to wait until either one or both parents die. If you were to get it at certain ages 18,21,25,30,35, etc., then you would know, and you'd already have it.
Who is the trustee? Most likely, he can use it (and keep the income annually) for health and welfare. Which means he can spend it.
My grandmother left me a trust that my aunt can use the income from while she's alive? She's also allowed to take principal distributions for her health and welfare. Guess what? She never saved for retirement and what do you think she's living on? Yep, "my" trust. I doubt I'll ever see any of it considering my grandmother died at 100.

No, honey. Your grandmother left your aunt a trust. If there is any money left when your aunt dies, your grandmother wanted you to get it rather than your aunts next door neighbor or husband. If you grandmother had wanted to leave you a trust, she very well could have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get why OP is frustrated by this though. Even if it's just a revocable trust (i.e. no real promise of funds), by the time you're 40 it is nice for parents to have a conversation with you about what plans they have made for aging and after they are gone. My parents have done this with us and we have copies of the documents so we are all prepared in case of an accident or sudden illness. My in-laws have not done this and are not good planners, so whenever something eventually happens (they are not in the best of health), it will be much harder to pull together documents/information and coordinate decisions among the siblings. Putting money issues aside, I think these conversations are responsible among older parents and their grown children. I've seen my parents deal (for years!) with their own parents' estates because it wasn't polite, or something, to talk about money. It's a gift to children to plan well, and then to discuss (even in broad strokes) what those plans are and where documents can eventually be accessed.

That's completely different from what OP is talking about. You can know where the funds are and where to find the records without knowing the details of how much money your parents have. My parents named me executor in their will, gave me medical POA, etc., and included in the packet they gave me a list of all of their financial accounts insurance policies, etc., with institution names, account numbers, passwords if applicable, etc. But I don't know how much money is in those various accounts, and it's not my business until they die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think she's not wording it well but it is frustrating not to be able to plan properly. For example, if there's a large sum coming to her then she might want to reduce her own retirement savings. She might make different decisions now if she wasn't trying to save for college. Imagine that she's facing very low performing schools and trying to figure out if she can afford privates and still save for college. It would be frustrating to learn later that she could have spent more on her kids.

Then what happens if she plans for an inheritance and it doesn't come? Say she hears that her inheritance is $500K and she spends for private school and vacations, etc. Then her father has a major health issue and only a small part is covered by insurance and when the dust settles and he finally passes and after funeral and taxes, it comes out to less than $25K. What then? The point is, that it isn't her money until the pass and the amount is not known until they pass. So she should not plan for any money and then if she gets a sizeable inheritance, she can alter her plans once she know how much she will really be inheriting.

What if they have $10 million and are 80? People on the board are so willing to wish away the good fortune of others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You probably have to wait until either one or both parents die. If you were to get it at certain ages 18,21,25,30,35, etc., then you would know, and you'd already have it.
Who is the trustee? Most likely, he can use it (and keep the income annually) for health and welfare. Which means he can spend it.
My grandmother left me a trust that my aunt can use the income from while she's alive? She's also allowed to take principal distributions for her health and welfare. Guess what? She never saved for retirement and what do you think she's living on? Yep, "my" trust. I doubt I'll ever see any of it considering my grandmother died at 100.

No, honey. Your grandmother left your aunt a trust. If there is any money left when your aunt dies, your grandmother wanted you to get it rather than your aunts next door neighbor or husband. If you grandmother had wanted to leave you a trust, she very well could have.

You could have been nicer about it PP, but yes that's accurate.

Everyone should know the difference in trust types and not start declaring themselves trust fund kids until they know what they are talking about

[Anonymous]

If we both drop dead today, our 12-22 yr olds would get in trust $10M. If we live our life expectancy, I have no idea what they'd get. We'd like to pass on our (likely sizable) Roth accounts but we also plan to live well in early retirement. So, no, we haven't talked with the kids about $$$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get why OP is frustrated by this though. Even if it's just a revocable trust (i.e. no real promise of funds), by the time you're 40 it is nice for parents to have a conversation with you about what plans they have made for aging and after they are gone. My parents have done this with us and we have copies of the documents so we are all prepared in case of an accident or sudden illness. My in-laws have not done this and are not good planners, so whenever something eventually happens (they are not in the best of health), it will be much harder to pull together documents/information and coordinate decisions among the siblings. Putting money issues aside, I think these conversations are responsible among older parents and their grown children. I've seen my parents deal (for years!) with their own parents' estates because it wasn't polite, or something, to talk about money. It's a gift to children to plan well, and then to discuss (even in broad strokes) what those plans are and where documents can eventually be accessed.

That's completely different from what OP is talking about. You can know where the funds are and where to find the records without knowing the details of how much money your parents have. My parents named me executor in their will, gave me medical POA, etc., and included in the packet they gave me a list of all of their financial accounts insurance policies, etc., with institution names, account numbers, passwords if applicable, etc. But I don't know how much money is in those various accounts, and it's not my business until they die.

+1. My parents have not discussed the specifics of what they are worth. However, both my brother and I know where in the house the firebox is which has the will, the key papers, etc. In the event both of my parents die, either one of us could get the firebox and could start sorting and processing. I'm not sure which of us is currently the executor as Dad has switched it a couple of times in the past. But I don't need the details, only where the papers are that we need. My parents have significantly more money than any of us children, but the exact amount? Not sure and not my business until it's my money. Right now, we're doing okay, so I'd rather have my parents than their money.

[Anonymous]

Is this how people plan on getting wealthy? By waiting for death like vultures?

[Anonymous]

OP, I am so sorry to hear this. It must be very difficult situation. Prayers and hugs to you and your family

[Anonymous]

This is hysterical. Aww, poor baby doesn't know when she is getting her payday. How did you ever make it to 40? THIS is a big part of what is wrong with the world, everyone wants a handout.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this how people plan on getting wealthy? By waiting for death like vultures?

Many do, yes. That's how it's been for all of time.

[Anonymous]

I hope the balance is zero

[Anonymous]

I don't structure my trust on age. I am glad I did it the right way based on this thread.

[Anonymous]

As my mom has told me, "Don't pick at the corpse before it's dead."