When Mom's salary breaks even with daycare....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you really want to be away from your children for 40-50 hours per week and do the "commute, drop off, pickup, quick make dinner, bed bath rush in a couple hours before bedtime" scramble for 401 k funding?

I wouldn't be able to make it through the day knowing I was spending that time away from my kids for so little.

To each her own. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing that we weren't saving for college, retirement, etc. And it would have been an enormous amount of stress for my husband, as well, being the sole support for the family.

AMEN! We look at my daughter's *full* life span when making decisions, including when we are retired/may be in need of elder/medical care, and after our death. She'll have no education debt.

[Anonymous]

I want my kids to socialize with other children. Even if daycare were more expensive than what my wife or I made (not combined obviously) I would want them to go to daycare. Besides given that we are both non-native speakers they get to learn English, but even that's not the reason I send them there...

[Anonymous]

As a kid, and as an adult, I was always proud of that my mother worked--she started out a secretary worked her way up to a senior management position where she was well-liked and well-respected. She made peanuts when we were little and probably barely broke even, esp. when all three of us were in daycare--I think she mostly worked back then for the health benefits, since my father was self-employed. I have never, as a kid (that I can remember) or as an adult thought: "I wish I had had a SAHM." Some people feel differently, I know, but I think it's a false premise that being home with your kids is inherently more valuable (to you or to them) than working. It's all about individual circumstances and preferences, and no one should judge others who feel differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a kid, and as an adult, I was always proud of that my mother worked--she started out a secretary worked her way up to a senior management position where she was well-liked and well-respected. She made peanuts when we were little and probably barely broke even, esp. when all three of us were in daycare--I think she mostly worked back then for the health benefits, since my father was self-employed. I have never, as a kid (that I can remember) or as an adult thought: "I wish I had had a SAHM." Some people feel differently, I know, but I think it's a false premise that being home with your kids is inherently more valuable (to you or to them) than working. It's all about individual circumstances and preferences, and no one should judge others who feel differently.

^^apologies for typos

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To think long-term.

+1

Now that kids are in school my salary, which is higher because of raises and promotions, is a great addition to the family budget. And I have a healthy TSP growing.

Instead of thinking of daycare coming out of mom's salary, why not think of it as a family expense from the overall budget including dad's salary?

NP. Because it's a cost that only exists with both parents working. For accounting purposes, it comes out of the salary of whoever would be the one to stay home. It's just basic economics, no reason to make it a feminist stand.

NP. You are missing the point and the one trying to make it a feminist issue. It is an economic issue, and a family economic issue. Whole family benefits from mom's retirement contributions, salary, social security contributions, benefits, and ability to stay in the workforce. Stats show women (and therefore their families) never regain the lost income from taking more than a few years off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you really want to be away from your children for 40-50 hours per week and do the "commute, drop off, pickup, quick make dinner, bed bath rush in a couple hours before bedtime" scramble for 401 k funding?

I wouldn't be able to make it through the day knowing I was spending that time away from my kids for so little.

My 401k and pension aren't a joke. I'm contributing around 50k a year to retirement. I can retire at 55 with a pension.

[Anonymous]

I kept working, and battled with my husband a bit over this, but I held my ground firm. Not working will NEVER be an option for me unless I am disabled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To think long-term.

+1

Now that kids are in school my salary, which is higher because of raises and promotions, is a great addition to the family budget. And I have a healthy TSP growing.

Instead of thinking of daycare coming out of mom's salary, why not think of it as a family expense from the overall budget including dad's salary?

NP. Because it's a cost that only exists with both parents working. For accounting purposes, it comes out of the salary of whoever would be the one to stay home. It's just basic economics, no reason to make it a feminist stand.

NP. You are missing the point and the one trying to make it a feminist issue. It is an economic issue, and a family economic issue. Whole family benefits from mom's retirement contributions, salary, social security contributions, benefits, and ability to stay in the workforce. Stats show women (and therefore their families) never regain the lost income from taking more than a few years off.

Exactly. When mom's future is more secure, the family's future is more secure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a kid, and as an adult, I was always proud of that my mother worked--she started out a secretary worked her way up to a senior management position where she was well-liked and well-respected. She made peanuts when we were little and probably barely broke even, esp. when all three of us were in daycare--I think she mostly worked back then for the health benefits, since my father was self-employed. I have never, as a kid (that I can remember) or as an adult thought: "I wish I had had a SAHM." Some people feel differently, I know, but I think it's a false premise that being home with your kids is inherently more valuable (to you or to them) than working. It's all about individual circumstances and preferences, and no one should judge others who feel differently.

^^apologies for typos

Well said, typos and all!

[Anonymous]

I don't get all the posters saying daycare is only short term. Before and After care is still needed once they enter elementary school and they are at least in 5th grade. Plus care is needed in the summers at least thru middle school and all of the school holidays.

[Anonymous]

I made over $100k before DS was born when I was 28, and daycare is 15k a year (in fairfax county). Why is just a mom's salary that matters, why not dad's?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get all the posters saying daycare is only short term. Before and After care is still needed once they enter elementary school and they are at least in 5th grade. Plus care is needed in the summers at least thru middle school and all of the school holidays.

Yes, costs are associated with all those, but the highest costs are with the youngest kids.

$1600 for infant care at our center
$1530 when she moved up to the "Pre-Tot" room
$1245 when she moved up to the "Twos" room

Etc., etc.

[Anonymous]

I quit because I was in an almost break even situation. It just didn't make financial sense -- Glad I did it. The household dynamics shifted over time and most of the household duties fell on me while DH was able to focus more on his career and it made up for the $$ I wasn't bringing in. It worked for us, not sure that would work for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Work. You will get benefits and build your career and earning potential, and your workplace seniority so that you will have more flexibility later on.

If you still want to SAH, do it after the 2nd baby-- that's much more cost-effective.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not encourage you to look at it this way. Daycare is a household expense, not a mother's expense.

Daycare is a relatively short period in your child's life. If you want to continue working after your child is school age, it is probably better to keep your job. Re-entry can be done, but it's normally not without its challenges.

Agree. It is a household expense. You and your SO will both be contributing to cover the cost. The question for you is whether this job is important to you and if you see yourself continuing in this field. If the answer to these questions is yes, keep working.